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Yes! Yes? Well, maybe…

Language Learning / by

I have heard a number of times from expats that Filipinos are liars. It is not something that I agree with, though. Sure, there are Filipinos who lie. There are Americans and Brits who lie too, but certainly all Filipinos are not liars, just as all Americans and Brits are not liars.

Last year, right here on LiP, John Grant even wrote an article asking if Filipinos are liars.  The topic that I am talking about here, and what John was talking about in his article is a language hurdle that we must be aware of.  You see, it is often said that Filipinos will say “Yes” even when they mean “No”.  Personally, I do not agree that this is the case.  I believe that if a Filipino is asked a question, and the answer to the question is a firm “No” then they will answer it “No.”

I was thinking about this last week, for some reason it just came to my mind.  I think I figured out why there is a problem.  You see, in English, we can say “Yes” or “No” – in some cases we might say “maybe” too.

In Bisaya (which I am learning), and I assume in Tagalog as well, there are many different words for “Yes” and each of these has a different level of the affirmative than the other.  For example:

Sigurado – 100% Yes
Siguro – 80% Yes
Possible (pronounced Poss-ib-lay) – 80% Yes
Basin – 50% Yes
Tingali – 50% Yes
Ambot – 0% Yes (I don’t know)

Hmm… interesting.  So, if you invite Juan to a party and he answers “Sigurado” it is a 100% possibility that he will show up for your party.  If he says “Siguro” then it’s 80% likely that he will be there, and so on.  So, you see, in English we do not have words for these different percentages.  So, if you invite Juan and he says “Yes,” in his mind he might be thinking “Basin.”  Then, on party day if he does not show, you might think that he is lying to you and had no intention of going, or changed his mind.  However, in his mind, all along he was thinking that he told you that is was 50% possible that he would be there.  He didn’t make it.  For you, he lied.  For him, he already told you that he might not be there.  Is he a liar?  No, absolutely not.  He used your language to answer you the best that he could.  Your language does not provide a way for him to easily be as specific as he intended to be.

This is a culture/language issue.  Think of this – if you take a small amount of time to learn some key parts of the language, you can change the conversation, and improve your experience living here.

If you don’t know the language:

You:  Juan, I want to invite you to my party on Saturday, 8:00pm.
Juan: Yes, I will be there.
You:  OK, see you then!

You expect Juan to be there there 100%, but you can’t be sure what Juan’s intention is for sure.

If you understand a bit of the language:

You:  Juan, I want to invite you to my party on Saturday, 8:00pm.
Juan:  Yes, I will be there.
You:  Sigurado?
Juan: Tingali, lang.

Now, you know that it’s really only a 50% possibility that Juan will be at the party.

Remember, it is you who chose to live here.  90 Million Filipinos are not going to change to make you happy.  It is your responsibility to change enough that you can enjoy the place and understand how things work.  This is just an example that can be applied to many parts of your life here.

Sigurado!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hello Bob, (maayung adlaw)
    ha ha ha you're absolutely right Bob, at least you know now of our culture dialect…thanks.

  2. Hi bob,

    after moving here in the states, i learned to answer to an invitation from friends like this, " I will give you a call if i can make it. At the moment , i cannot decide yet."
    I must admit, you are right about those words you use. Sigurado is a 100% yes in tagalog. Siguro is almost 50% yes and no.

    Hey, congratulations, you got it right!

    cris

  3. Hi Bob,
    Is this same principal in Tagalog??
    What are the examples for Tagalog?
    This is very good to know…..even here in Vancouver my filipina friends drive me crazy with either their lateness or their absence. I love them anyway but I want to use the examples to blow them out of the water 🙂 🙂
    I look forward to asking them the Tagalog version of ….Sigurado???

  5. Nice work! You got it right on the dot! I find it so frustrating when people who speak only English get mad when they think they aren't being told to truth in situations just like you described. But I never really thought about how there are degrees of 'yes,' which there certainly are! I have always understood 'tingali' as 'Don't count on it.'

  8. Hi CRIS – Thanks for your comment! Yes, it is a learning curve on both sides, isn't it? 😆 Thanks for confirming what I was thinking.

  9. Hi Tyleen Reynders – It is the same in Tagalog, but I can't give you the Tagalog words (although I know that some are the same) because I can't speak Tagalog, only Bisaya. I believe that Sigurado is good in Tagalog as well as Bisaya.

  10. Hi raymond – I never heard of inshala. Is that Tagalog? If so, I can't answer your question because I can't speak Tagalog.

  11. Hi AmericanLola – Nice to hear from you! It has been a long time, and I hope that you and AmericanLolo are doing well. When will we be seeing you back in the Philippines? Soon, I hope.

    Thanks for your confirmation on my thinking on this. Really, it makes perfect sense when you think about it. Just another example why it is so important to get at least a basic understanding of language.

  13. Bob: Inshallah is Arabic, loosely translated as "If God wills it". In the Middle East, if an Arab wants to be agreeable to do something, but has no intention of doing it, or means maybe, they say Inshallah. It has almost become standard in some places, with Inshallah being said at the end of nearly every sentence. Sort of like the Indian habit of shaking their heads while agreeing with you.

  16. Hi JohnM – AmericanLola told me that she will get back to writing on the site when she returns to the Philippines. She is still in the States right now. She can write anytime she likes! 😉

  18. Hi Randy C – In it's simplest form, yes is "oo" – but when it comes to asking somebody a question, yes will often be sigurado, siguro, basin, pwede, tingali and such, depending on how much "yes" it is. That's still a little ways down the road in your lessons. I think maybe lesson 20 something?

  19. Hi Bob! I miss AmericanLola too! 🙂 Just want to share: "Siguro" and "sigurado" are the same in Tagalog. "Basin" is "baka". In Manila, they say "malamang" or probably in English.

  20. Bob – I have never experienced anyone lying to me in the true sense of what a lie is. Only store clerks by saying "Out of Stock" on something they never had to begin with or are too lazy to actually go check the store room. Or when you ask them when they will have new shipment thay always lie about the availability date.

    Other than thisno. But Bob, it doesn't really matterbecause I can tell when someone lies. I saw the movie "Body of Lies" with Russell Crowe and Leonardo DeCaprio and it prepared me for situations like this. Also, I did undergo training with the CIA specifically in this area.

  21. maayong buntag Bob, wow perfect !
    hmm…kanus-a imong birthday ? kay mo attend ko, Ay ! basin lang diay .. hehehe

  23. Hi Steven – I just discovered that it's hard to detect if somebody is telling a lie when it is the written word. CIA training? I can't tell if it is true or a joke! 😯

  24. Hi evelyn – Salamat kaayo sa imong komentaryo. Akong birtdey sulod semana, baynte Pebrero! Pero, walay parte! Tigulang kaayo ko para sa parte. 😯

  25. Hello Bob, Advanced happy B-Day…You're not Tigulang pero kong sa Mc Donald imo Party…Di na bagay tigulang gyod he he he(jokes only).Cherrs !!!

  26. It's all in the language, if you know it then you will understand it .. just like our language if you understand all the slang then you are doing great but if you are a foreigner , then it is a nightmare to understand so are you lying to them ? ? .. Yes is yes , but there are so many versions of it too ….Phil n Jess

  28. Hi Bob,

    Does using a negative question with Filipinos cause a lot of misunderstandings? I've noticed that these kinds of questions always confuse Japanese and Koreans. For example:

    " Won't you come to my birthday party? "

    If a Japanese doesn't plan to attend they will answer YES. In their understanding of the question they agree in the affirmative that they won't be coming to the party.

    If they want to attend they say NO to the " won't come " question because they disagree with that because they " will come ".

    Once I figured this out I used to ask the Japanese students we rented rooms to lots of these negative questions. We all had a big laugh about the misunderstandings but they appreciated learning the subtleties of English!

  29. ¿Cómo está usted? Bob,

    Bobs,El cumpleaños es semana próxima!!…oh sorry..I thought we were speaking Spanish 🙂 …lol( just kidding). I do like that there is some Spanish in bisaya, that helps me a bit.
    Early malipayan birtdey to you Bob, and I didn't realize there were so many words for "yes". Rose mostly just says "Oo", and actually only says "O". Also for the word "no" and "not".

    In Spanish I will write to you for your birthday "Espero que usted tenga un gran día, y mucho más!! Feliz Cumpleanos!!" which means ( I hope you have a great day, and many more!! Happy Birthday!!)

    Adiós para ahora mi amigo,
    Danny

  30. Expect no show even when Filipino say sigurado. Just had recent experience even from closest of friends. It is very frustrating and irritating.
    In the Philippines it is common to say yes even if it means NO, to save face.
    That is lying !

  32. Cathy, I interpret siguro and sigurado the same way Bob had explained it the first time. Siguro to me is closer to maybe and siguarado is a guarantee. When I make plans for a get together, I only count those who are sigurado. Then I factor in a +/-10% fudge factor. For those of you who want to invite Filipinos to a party, you have to deal with Filipino time and whether they are coming or not. See how frustrating this can be?

  36. Hi Ann – Akong bisaya, medyo lang. Pero, salamat sa imong komenaryo. Pasalamat ko sa Teacher Bebe para sa akong bisaya!

  37. Hi Randall Jessup – You are exactly right! Answering of negative questions here is exactly opposite of how you and I would do it. In the example that you give about the birthday party, if you asked that to a person here, if they said "Yes" that means that they won't be coming. If they answer "no" that means that they will come.

  38. Hi Danny – Now you are messing with my mind, my friend! When I started reading your comment, my mind went for a loop! It's a long time since I studied Spanish! Thanks for your birthday wish for me… my birthday is on Feb. 20.

  41. Hi Aldel – I would tend to agree with what you said, but I don't know in Cathy's case, because she is speaking of Tagalog.

  43. Hi Bob, to answer your question in the matter of Raymund's question, "inshala" is actually Arabic: Insha'Allah (God Willing)…I take it it is a common phrase among our Muslim countrymen down south

    ….I'll let you figure out the percentage yes it is 😀

  44. Hi Jong – Thanks for your clarification. Next time I am in the ARMM I am going to make it a point to ask somebody there about the percentage!

  45. Gee Bob love your work. Who needs to go to another website to learn anything about the Pines.
    On the theme of invitations, a few months ago i invited about 50 people to come to my daughter's christening. I had been to a couple of foreigner/pinay and pinoy/pinay weddings just to see how it all works here. So with nearly 90% acceptance to the church i sort of expected a large turn up. But I have been here nearly 2 years and i knew better!
    As i thought, no one turned up at the church, well except the sponsors. But wait for it……..i had prepared food for over 100 people and lol there just enough to feed the 100 or so who turned up lol.
    No offense taken, I just learned from the experience of others.
    My understanding of YES in any of its forms means, if there is food I AM definitely coming, but I WILL pass on the formalitites……I still can't help laughing every time i think about the event.

  46. Well I have learn't something new since my last post. My fiance tells me NOW…..late as usual …..that
    Yes i am coming means: I will be there but I am not sure.
    Hmmmm I get it !!!!!

  47. Hi Pete,

    It would seem that way to you that Filipinos would only go where the food is. I understand westerners do extend invitations for the ceremony and for the reception all in one invitation but sometimes separately. In the Philippines though, when one is invited to attend a wedding, baptism, it always carries with it the invitation to attend the reception. If it's a wedding, it's always a good practice to attend the ceremony. That doesn't mean though that the number of church attendees is equal to the number of reception attendees. Usually, the latter is higher. During baptism though, only sponsors, some family members & close friends to snap photos are expected to attend the ceremony. In most churches, about 8 babies are baptized each Sundays. Easily the church is full with all the sponsors most child has. Think how chaotic it is when baptism is done during fiestas. That's why it is a good idea if only sponsors & family attend the baptism ceremony. The Church prefers that. & sometimes, the host would prefer that too.

  50. Hi Pete – I think that the christening and the reception following the event are looked at as one event. Missing the Church portion, yet attending the reception is not uncommon, as they are attending the event, just missing part of it. For me, it is not a food thing, but these people just wanted to attend since they were invited, and celebrate the occasion with your family. Even if there was no food, I bet most of them would have been at the house.

  52. Hi Luz B. – I am going to have to ask Bebe about this when I see her. My understanding of "Tan awon lang" would be "just looking?" Maybe this is something that I have not learned yet.

  53. Hi Bob,

    My wife says that " Tan awon lang " translates to the English " We'll see…" meaning basically – "maybe, I haven't decided yet."

  54. Hi Randall Jessup – OK, thanks. That makes sense. Tan-aw literally means to look or see. The "on" at the end makes it a future event, and of course lang is "just". I couldn't quite figure what that way, because I often say "tan-aw lang" if I am in a store and the clerk asks me if I need help – "just looking."

  55. Hi Bob, does that mean that you understand people who just show up in the reception but missed out the ceremony? If you are secondary sponsor, it's a another matter. 🙂 Unless, you have told the host that you'll just make it to the reception. BTW, if a Filipino tells me "we'll see" in the vernacular then I would take it to mean as "whatever" or "bahala na."

  56. Hi Roy – You misunderstood me. Just one time I did not go to a baptism, but did attend the reception. I was not a sponsor of any kind at that baptism – primary or secondary. If I were a sponsor, I would have certainly been at the Church. And, I did let the father of the child know that I could not make it to the Church service, and he was fine about that.

  57. Wow, blam! that explains it ! This is a really important thing to know about.

    Thanks for the clarification Bob. So many potential misunderstandings avoided.

  59. Hi Bob,

    Just a slight warning about the use of the word "inshalla". As a couple of people have said, it is an arabic word which means "if god is willing", but more usually means "probably not", and sometimes "no", the latter usually by people who Iack the courage to say no directly. I believe it is used throughout the world by muslims.

    While living in Saudi, I learned a little essentials of the language, "no sugar, plenty of milk", for example. Actually, I picked up a little more than that, and occasionally would use the word inshalla in place of "perhaps" when talking with arabic speakers. On a couple of occasions though, I endured what I could only describe as a severe reprimand from a couple of different Saudi's who heard me. It seems that their own particular interpretation of islam is that only a muslim should use the name Allah, which is contained within the word, and they were offended by my use of it. So tread carefully!

    Happy Forthcoming Birthday!