You cannot get blood from a stone. Ever heard that expression? If you’re not familiar with it, it is defined as:
Prov. You cannot get help from an uncharitable person or money from someone who has none.
A lot of people think it comes from the Bible, but it does not. But it’s very true all the same.
Recently a reader has been writing to me asking for ways he can help his wife’s family in the Philippines set up a business that they can operate and make a living from so that they become self-supporting.
An honorable idea, and the reader is to be applauded for trying to help … but there’s a couple things that need to be considered carefully before blindly rushing off on such a worthy task.
Somebody Has To Know Something
I asked this reader what his own business experience was. Nothing.
I asked him what experience anyone in the family had running a business. Surprise. Nothing.
I asked what the “target market” for this proposed business was interested in?
The only response was, “Well they’re very, very poor and I want an idea from you what would be a good business to start that my wife’s family (also very poor) could profit from”.
Let’s review the bidding here, shall we?
We have a proposed business which is to be started from scratch and run by folks with no business skills or experience.
We have a well-meaning and eager to help American relative who wants to help, but, in truth, he knows nothing about running a business either.
And we have a proposed target market who doesn’t have any money to buy what the “notional business” is going to try to sell them.
Am I the only one who has alarm bells going off in my head when I type this out into black and white?
Didn’t think so …
A “business” is not something like a turnip that you can buy a packet of seed for, throw on the ground and expect a crop from.
Among the most essential ingredients is a willing population you can target who has disposable income … that is income over and above the bare essentials for survival. That’s where my “blood from a stone” title is trying to represent.
No matter how clever your business idea is, no matter how hard someone works at promoting the business, no matter how closely every penny (centavo) is monitored and accounted for, if you aren’t trying to sell to people with money, you have very little chance of ever making a profit.
For sure, “good intentions” are not going to be able to overcome real poverty.
This is why my advice has been consistent over the years … live in the Philippines but earn (whether from a job or an independent business) from the rest of the world.
Many of you have read these words before, but not allowed them to sink in, perhaps. Every day new people come here looking for advice, see these words, and choose to completely ignore them because the advice is not congruent with the idealized “picture” they have in their mind of the family back in the Philippines sitting down every evening to a decent meal and smiling as they count up the day’s receipts.
It’s A Lovey Vision
The problem is it is a dream, a nice dream, but when the parties involved come to their senses and wake up it all too often becomes a nightmare. Any of you folks who are reading this article (and if you got this far into it, you must have some interest in the subject) should read (carefully) (and the comments as well) this article I wrote a few months ago: Seed Corn and Utang – Will They Sink Your Boat?
The “bottom line” is, setting up a family to earn money through a business, when they know nothing about a business, and especially if you have no practical business experience to guide them yourself, is very seldom successful. In fact it borders on cruelty, even though it starts from kindness. I don’t advise it.
Practical Alternatives
- If you truly feel you must help, the overall cheapest alternative is to just decide, in concert with your wife, how much per month you feel comfortable with just flat giving them … and then, well, give it.
- If you are really interested in trying to help long-term, then give them help for day-to-day expensive and send the most promising child to school. After s/he graduates they can get a job and start providing help along the way. Someday you can scale back your own contribution (although, rest assured, that will cause contention, in many cases once you start giving, you really are never going to stop.
- Look for something several of the family members can do nearby where things aren’t so poor … commuting until they get some money flowing in. An example is here. For 8 years now at our home in Bulacan, two ladies from quite a distance away .. farther than Pampanga, actually, commute (via bus) several days a week and make their rounds in our subdivision (and others) selling mainly fresh vegetables that they purchased the same morning in their home province. Sounds laborious, but guess what? They have been living off that income for years, feeding, clothing and putting their families through school. Anyone can do it _IF_ they want to.
Poor Is An Overused Term
Many of us Americans are overly concerned with the idea of “poor”. That’s understandable since even really poor people in the USA are rich almost beyond belief in comparison to many really poor folks.
Just this morning I had an email from an American reader who was describing the situation of another American living here in the Philippines, with his Filipino girlfriend, and apparently quite happy.
The fellow telling the tale though was very concerned about the situation because they were “living on practically nothing .. only about P30,000 a month” from the fellow’s savings, and no other money coming in. Do you think he was right to be concerned? Well, personally, I don’t live on P30,000 a month (about $680 USD) . I really wouldn’t care to.
But could I? I certainly believe I could. (You’d be very surprised to see what my wife and I lived on in our little P7,000 a month rental house when we first came to the Philippines, with a pot load of typical American credit card debt, (long since paid off).
Money Isn’t Everything
P30,000 a month is a actually a decent middle-class salary here in the Metro Manila area. That’s like the wage of a mid-level manager in a store or a bank … enough to raise a family on, send kids to school, pay the electric bill, buy school supplies, office clothes, commute, etc. Poor is a very relative term.
Helping out family is a fine thing to do, but don’t try to reinvent the wheel trying to bring people “up” to American-style income numbers by making “business tycoons” out of them. Remember that the people who you are so concerned about being “poor” were living just fine for many, many years before you came along, and truth be told they will go right on living and loving after you are gone.
Be careful you don’t making them feel “poor” and “needy” in your eyes just because you are used to more money.
Remember their pride and have respect for all that they have accomplished over the years. Money isn’t everything. Far from it.
This is an EXCELLENT article!
Thanks, Luanne!
Well said Dave.
Your thoughts mirror mine.
I’ve cringed over the years reading/hearing such stories, you only have to look at the failure rate of new business start ups in the West to see how difficult this scenario can be.
Hit the nail on the Head Dave.
I’ll be the first to attest to the futility of trying to help someone there to start a business without myself being present and oversee it!
Case in point! I helped asawa ko to start a sari-sari store with boxes of food, clothing and other stuff! Went bust within 2 months be cause of her not having any business sense, extent credit and never receiving the money owed.
Finally told her to use the food and clothing for herself and the kids, much cheaper for ME!
Then I tried Silver jewelry and watches! again, she had customers, but did not pay as agreed upon, so much for that!
Only thing that paid off was Chicago Electric Tools, Grinders and Disks, was able to get 3 times the amount I paid for here wholesale. Of course also had to include voltage converter.
Bottom line Dave is! You cannot start or have a business with someone who is NOT business savvy! only way is if you’re there and oversee it!
I could start a basic Cantina with Videoke just about anyplace there and be successful, not rich, but successful. That is MY line of work with 50 years of experience. Makes no difference what country you are in, gear it to the locale!
All in all Dave! one of the best articles you have written, right on! I compliment you for your insight!
Regards, Heinz
Hi Dave – Words of wisdom. Setting people up in a business almost always will be a disaster, especially if no one has any idea. Point 1 really is the cheapest option for most.
I agree, you have to be here ti look after a business. Specially if the people running it have no experience at all, it will never work.
The cheapest is to do as You, Dave says: Send some money at a monthly basis. The only “problem” in doing that is that the family will sit down and do nothing, just making a living from your money. Not good for self-respect.
That was the cheapest, but not the best.
The best is to make the family self-supporting, so maybe there is some in the family that has a little idea about running a business. If they live in a rural area with a little land, maybe teach how to grow things for own use and some for a local market. Support to start some farming.
Sell fish or vegetables locally, sell “tuba” (coco wine) or whatever is possible at that place.
Use next vacation to show how to do. Find a reliable family member that can help and continue the work.
It’s not a good idea just to send money to start something, without having any knowledge, that will cost a lot in the end.
find a way to make a living and income in one country’s standard, while living in another county’s standard. and enjoy the margin….. but open a business or get a job at to lower standard..not going to happen.
Dave,
I agree with what Axel said above. Sending money monthly creates dependence and gives them no incentive to work like OFW’s do which is a big problem here.
Hi Papaduck – Strategically give enough so they don’t starve if they are really down and out, and there will still be motivation for them to look for more, give too much and you are right, not so good. It depends on the age of who you are giving too as well. Example an older person past retirement age deserves more than a younger more capable person, just my opinion.
I always heard you can not get blood out of a turnip.
That too, Budrick Bias. Ha Ha
I like the idea of sending something (a little) monthly to help out rather than investing a big sum that is likely to go bust. We did this to help with the care of Lola. It was much appreciated.
but you can take the turnip
Nice article Dave! Most important you said in 2 last sentences! If you have the will, you`ll find the way, I would say!
I agree with you in theory Brenton, but define “old and past retirement.” I get the sense that some folks in the Philippines consider retirement a right of being old and family should support them as a matter of course, so they likely “retire” much earlier than in the US. Some (most) Americans may very well be required to work well into my seventies, so supporting a “retired” father-in-law in their 50’s or 60’s can be a tough sell.
Yes Brent, absolutely correct! I’m a “Retired Worker” in my 70’s. Although I’m self employed does not mean I work less hard, au contraire, if anything even harder.
Can’t afford to completely retire here in the US, no kids to support most of us, they have enough problems supporting themselves.
Saving my money and hopefully sell my business and everything I can’t carry and move to the Philippines. I’ll be able to live there on my SS comfortably in the province or towns in Negros such as Bais or others close to Dumaquete. Many choices, will just have to see when I get there.
Hi Brent – 56 is retirement age here for police, military etc, but they get a pension and can survive. Retirement age in Australia is generally regarded as 65 even though it is getting pushed higher, maybe up to 69. So at least 65 or over. The older over 65 or the incapacitated should always be given a higher regard, than people younger and more capable.
A really great read . and timely for me
I enjoyed this post. So accurate in many ways. If a person does not have business sense it is almost impossible for them to succeed.
Since my daughter was about 8ready years old she has always looked fir ways to earn money to help her mama and help lola buy her medicine. One time she was so proud of filling bags with sand for a man building something and earned 400 peso. A while back she announced “Papa I have a business”. She was freezing mango and other juices in an ice cube tray and selling them. I asked if I could invest in it and then sent her a couple sets of the Rubbermaid popcicle molds. I have also sent her various similar things for her to work with.
To me it is important to encourage her willingness to both work and to learn business principles at an early age. She was selling sweet corn and told me that people wanted to try an ear to see if it was good. She had her mama cook a couple and then cut it into small pieces. She explained that she was happy to give a sample but didn’t want to feed them.
Am I proud of her? Yes because she is willing to look for ways to earn money and to learn about business in bite sized amounts instead of asking for money even when she knows I would be happy to give it to her. It’s a life lesson for her.
Absolutely fantastic, with a college education later on she will be a sucessful Filipino business woman!
Thank you Heinz. I agree that is my hope. She actually has a goal of saving money to, as she says, “be a doctor that helps children.” I support her the best I know how pursuing her dreams.
Also, sorry about the misspellings, when I post using my mobile phone auto correct seems to take control.