There is nothing wrong with being sensitive, I feel that I am a person who is sensitive. Being oversensitive, though can cause problems. A lot of Filipinos are actually quite oversensitive when it comes to criticism. It doesn’t even have to be criticism directed toward that person themselves, but the person can be oversensitive when it comes to comments made about the Philippines, or even about other Filipinos. Don’t take me wrong, I like Filipino people a lot, I just find this particular aspect to be a little too much.
Over the weekend, I came across an article on a Philippine Newspaper website. Based on the title, I thought it might be an interesting read:
If a foreigner were to ask you point blank why our country is in such a mess, how would you respond?
Well, as I read the article, I found myself getting a little disenchanted with it, and felt that once again, the Filipino over-sensitivity was kicking in. You see, a significant number of the respondents to the question asked interpreted it as a question of how would they react to the fact that a foreigner asked the question. Now, when I read the question, I interpreted it as a question for people to answer why there were a lot of problems in the country.
Let’s look at some of the responses that the paper printed:
Cris Rivera, Rizal: I’d tell this foreigner that he is a jerk. My country is not alone in this state of dirt and confusion. There’s no paradise without snakes.
OK, the foreigner is a jerk. Interesting. If he presumed to tell the Filipino what the problems were, then he might be classified as a jerk, but he was asking the Filipino to tell him.
I. Calata, Parañaque City: If he were a friend, I wouldn’t mind at all, and I just might give him the anatomy of the mess. I might even give him details on the most favorite topic of discussion here: Corruption. But if the foreigner were a stranger who came from an equally messy country or worse, I would stop him in his tracks and tell him, point blank, to go home and fix their own mess.
Well, I find I. Calata’s answer a little better, but the questioner was just asking, why tell him to go home and fix his own mess? Seems a little rough to me.
Lorenzo Fernandez Jr., Cabanatuan City: Even if what he says is true, I would tell him, “Mind your own business.” The trouble with foreigners is that they look down on us with contempt and superiority whatever we do, good or bad.
So, foreigners are bad. Lorenzo says that foreigners have contempt no matter what Filipinos do, good or bad. It seems like Lorenzo has contempt for foreigners no matter what they do, based on his response.
Rodolfo Talledo, Angeles City: Go to hell, mister, if you have no inkling of our politics. This thing you call messy is what makes us the happiest creatures in this planet.
OK, so Rodolfo says the guy should go to hell if he doesn’t understand how things work here. It seems, by the question, the fellow is asking so he can find out how things work, and why.
There are plenty such examples to be found if you go read the article. The thing that bothers me is that the way the paper asked the question, it seems kind of anti-foreigner. Why not just ask this:
Why is our country in a mess?
It seems like this question would get a more objective response. Just ask what you want to know, not injecting who asked the question. That invites too many variables into the mix, in my opinion.
Almost every day, when I go out around town somewhere, if I interact with people, they ask me questions about the United States after they know I am from there. How should I respond to them? “Go to hell if you don’t already know about the USA!” That wouldn’t be very friendly, would it?
Just after the US Presidential election last year, a lot of Filipinos asked me, “what do you think of Barack Obama?” I told them what I thought. I told them that I hoped he did well, but we had to wait and see what he did. I sure didn’t say “It’s none of your business, don’t talk to me!” That just would not be a nice thing to say. When I am asked these questions, I feel that there is a genuine interest from these people, and I also feel that I am sort of a representative of my country to show friendliness to people who have questions like that. If somebody asked me a question about America, and I told them to “go to hell” what kind of impression would that give of Americans, or the country?
I guess that anything involving the media can lead to such problems, but I just found it so unnecessary when I read this article!
Hi Bob, thank you for this article. I’m Australian born-and-raised to Filipino parents. Reading the linked article reminds me of some of my friends. You wouldn’t believe how frustrating it is when I get the silent treatment or accusations of self-hatred when I bring up the sorry state of the Philippines. I love the Philippines and being Filipino and am totally open to criticism and opinions but as you know with most groups, only a minority in them will be readily open to hear it.
In regards to the Philstar.com article thought it was a very effective Editorial question in how it gauges the level of sensitivity to our identity and reputation in the World – which can be very difficult for foreigners to understand.
Do understand WHY Filipinos are insensitive, it’s a painful and embarrassing situation – they live in a 3rd world country rampant with corruption and a damaged culture – add criticism from the outside and you’ll find some people rise to the challenge (of admitting there is a problem) and others with snap back defiant in blind pride or denial.
If you want to get your point across to EVERYONE I find this way..
*Address the problem>Make clear you have good intentions>Offer to understand their reactions>Create dialogue>Give it time>Joke about it*
…works better than this way..
*Give them a rude awakening>Accuse them of being oversensitive*
You can go the 2nd way which might appear to have more impact but is inevitably counterproductive. If you do want to prove that you’re making the effort to understand someone else’s mentality, you can tweak your approach without having to tip-toe..
SIR Bob – (pun intended 🙂 ) I can understand the feelings of the responses. I'm sure that many in the Phils are "embarrassed" or "ashamed" of certain facets of life there. Westerners will try to confront a problem head-on. There, the culture seems to endorse a flanking or indirect attack.
I've always believed that the peoples of any former Spanish colony had suffered through treatment harsh enough to fuel mistrust and resentment of outsiders which often remains hidden behind a smile. Of course, that's all a "pretty broad brush" with which to paint this picture.
BTW, provincial living is much more forgiving with the "small stuff" (but much harsher with the "big"!).
Yes, I too find as well that Filipinos can be oversensitive about many things but I also tend to see this in a way being divided along economic lines. The more well off and typically more traveled and educated people tend to approach such a question with more objectivity. Corruption seem to be the number one concern of theirs. But, funny enough if you read what they call newspapers here, you would think everyone is sensitive.
When they ask me the same I have no problem telling them I think my country S..ks in many ways and I left the US partly because I just could not stand the idiot President GWB who was running it for the past 8 years an also the attitudes of Americans had deteriorated so badly or that the country had become more like a police state.
Oftentimes they are shocked at my directeness. I find that people that are overly sensitive in general to critisism, are insecure with themselves or just uneducated. I personally take the attitude that everyone is 100% entitled to their opinion and let it be. If you don't agree, tough doodles. Even being proud or your country doesn't justify anyone being overtly sensitve about others peoples comments or critisms and instead perhaps a little education is in order not violence, but diplomacy. Quite unfortunately, sensitivity and a host of other barriers will hold this country back for eternity unless they waant to change or someone says enough is enough with sensitivty. And in about 2-3 years the USA will be stronger than ever becasue we know how do deal with our sensitivities.
Hi Bob,
The question asked is so typical of the Media anywhere now a days.
They just love to provoke a reaction,it sells papers the same way sensationalism does.
Regarding a filipino being over sensitive,in my experience this is very true.Being a UK northerner,we are well known for our bluntness or straight talk.Over the years i have managed to control this much better.However it still slips out on some occassions as my good lady will verify.Even when i state its nothing personal,she will have a tampo for 30mins,then everything ok again.
Sometimes the cultural differences are hard to overcome.
regards Chas.
the world will always have problems every person will have a opinon about it some will get mad its part of life i dont mind talking about the problems here in the usa. if you ask me i will give you my opinon and you can give yours it a give and take world. what i say you may not like at all and what you say i may not like yes i get mad 100% of the people do. talk helps and sometimes it doesn't thats life.
seems to me, that i don't fit this description. that i'm glad about. but nobody mess with my durian. that's a national treasure!
looks like some people are very critical about that question .. Phil
I have accidentally offended Filipinos on a few occasions so I can relate. One of the problems is that the Philippines have gone from the lion of Asia to its present state. So I can easily see why Filipinos can get frustrated with questions that can easily been seen as criticism of the people and frustration can easily get a person to react badly.
Bob,
As you mentioned, Filipinos are easily defensive about their country as most of any country are. We do not like being asked or told by someone from another country criticisms about your country.
Also here I have found Filipinos get defensive about any negative comments, think back at your SIR series and Face.
But, if you ask most Filipinos they say the courption is one of the biggest problems here.
Hi M-Bob,
I agree that a westerner has to be careful what they say to Filipinos as it can easily be misinterpreted. What we might consider an innocent joke could be perceived as an insult to Filipinos. Often they take the literal meaning of the words and not understand the subtleties of meaning in the English language and culture.
As for the newspaper question, I find that many Filipinos could easily construe it as condescending and insensitive if coming from a foreigner. I think this is true of many nationalities. It's one thing if another American were to criticize America, quite another when some one from another country does the same.
When the French said America had messed up a few years ago the U.S. declared that "French Fries " would henceforth be called " Freedom Fries". Talk about sensitive!!
And never tell a Canadian that Canada doesn't know anything about hockey if you plan on leaving the country alive! LOL !!!
Hi Bob, thank you for this article. I'm Australian born-and-raised to Filipino parents. Reading the linked article reminds me of some of my friends. You wouldn't believe how frustrating it is when I get the silent treatment or accusations of self-hatred when I bring up the sorry state of the Philippines. I love the Philippines and being Filipino and am totally open to criticism and opinions but as you know with most groups, only a minority in them will be readily open to hear it.
In regards to the Philstar.com article thought it was a very effective Editorial question in how it gauges the level of sensitivity to our identity and reputation in the World – which can be very difficult for foreigners to understand.
Do understand WHY Filipinos are insensitive, it's a painful and embarrassing situation – they live in a 3rd world country rampant with corruption and a damaged culture – add criticism from the outside and you'll find some people rise to the challenge (of admitting there is a problem) and others with snap back defiant in blind pride or denial.
If you want to get your point across to EVERYONE I find this way..
*Address the problem>Make clear you have good intentions>Offer to understand their reactions>Create dialogue>Give it time>Joke about it*
…works better than this way..
*Give them a rude awakening>Accuse them of being oversensitive*
You can go the 2nd way which might appear to have more impact but is inevitably counterproductive. If you do want to prove that you're making the effort to understand someone else's mentality, you can tweak your approach without having to tip-toe..
Hi Bob,
This is the question posed to Filipinos: "If a foreigner were to ask you point blank why our country is in such a mess, how would you respond?"
And this is the question posed to you by Filipinos: “what do you think of Barack Obama?”
Maybe I am a very sensitive Filipino. I can't help it if I could spot the glaring difference between those two questions. Thus, I would not be surprised if it would elicit two different reactions. I can understand the hostility if the first question. But I cannot understand why there would be on the second. But I would be
surprised if your reply would be "it's none of your business."
The first question operates under the premise that that country is already in a mess except that the foreigner wants the erudite opinion of the Filipino on why it's messy. Or if the foreigner already knows the reasons why it's messy but he's only interested on how the Filipino will respond. How else but eat his minute humble pie, i.e, we are illiterate, poor, corrupt, free loaders (we rely on the aid of the US), con artists (we rely on the weakness of the western). The first question is arguably condescending.
The first and second question cannot be qualified as similar questions. That's just how I think about it. I cannot think of any country which I can pose this question without having serious reservation about the necessity of the discussion. However, if I am Filipino OFW in Saudi and I bumped into you, I would ask you what you feel about your new President. The second question is just a genuine interest to know how you feel about your new president.
If I may speak for those Filipinos who reacted negatively to that seemingly "objective" question, we answer that way because that's the best way to end any discussion that would make us beat our heads. We have enough Filipinos bashing our own country and they say we have done a good job doing it. What we last need is non-Filipinos to join us in bashing our very own. And yes, it's normal for us to say if it's so messy, why are you still here?
I actually pointed out the lack of jobs here in the US, imagine the kind of response I got fr Americans Bob.
Exactly my point.
Randall Jessup says:
March 9, 2009 at 10:21 am
Hi M-Bob,
I agree that a westerner has to be careful what they say to Filipinos as it can easily be misinterpreted. What we might consider an innocent joke could be perceived as an insult to Filipinos. Often they take the literal meaning of the words and not understand the subtleties of meaning in the English language and culture.
As for the newspaper question, I find that many Filipinos could easily construe it as condescending and insensitive if coming from a foreigner. I think this is true of many nationalities. It’s one thing if another American were to criticize America, quite another when some one from another country does the same.
Maybe I am getting confused now. Roy – you are getting defensive for no reason. Stop reading anything into the question. No one put the question out there to bash, embarrass, undermine you or the people of the Philippines. It was a honest question pure and simple that just so happens to be asked by a foreigner. You are taking that simple question and reading into it things that do not exist. You then keep telling me what an American might say to the same question asked by a Filipino and assuming it would be the same if not worse. WRONG!!! I would say they will be about as Politically incorrect blaming everything from their morning toast to the weather. But they will give you and unabashed answer with absolutely no sensitivities to their being American. That is our greatness.
Do you think any foreigner actually cares about the Philippines in a way like perhaps Bob does. We only hope that things get better and can only pray that you all will do something about it one day.
As for laying out the red carpet. Well you know that give us your tired, poor, masses?????…..Ellis Island thing that welcomed millions of people to frm all over the world to America in the early 1900's. Point is we welocome you and allow you any opportunity you choose. You don't even give me that oportunity here in the Philippines but I don't care.
You want change here. Start working together and stop whining and worrying about what other people think. Whadda think ROY? somebody throw cold water on this boy.
Pretty interesting. And I'll say this … the original writer annoyed me with the question. I'm sure there are foreigners who would ask a question phrased in that way, but I am certainly not one of them. It's specious, imprecise and vilolates an important logical fallacy by being a "loaded" questuion.
"Have you stopped beating your wife?" is another textbook example of the "loaded question" fallacy.
Are there problems here? Absolutely! Is the Philippines in a mess? Absolutely not! "In a mess" is an imprecise term that lumps everything about a whole country and people into one "pot", and I would refuse to answer. In our family therre's a joke about an overly dramatic member who's favorite expression in reaction to any misfortune is "Ay, patay na" … "we're all dead now" … the Philippines is a long way from being a dead country.
In fact, the original article points up one of my 'pet peeves'. The more I live here in the Philippines and the more I learn, the more often there are times I would like yo grab a Filipino by the shoulders and just shake him or her for acting like "all is lost", or that there is no hope of improvement in anything, becuase they are Filipino, and especially not "blessed by God as all Americans are.
You, my Filipino freinds, are _not_ "second class" or "third world" unless you wish to perceive yourself that way and hold yourself back of your own choosing.
I's likely, that in psychological terms,. this massive oversensitivity has its roots in a deeply ingrained inferiority complex. If this is true, realize that unlike certain medical conditions, inferiority responds well to group and individual treatment.
Most of the answers in the original article smack of intelligent people consciously or by long habituation choosing to hide their intelligence.
hi bob,
Let's put the question into a smaller scale, it is like this, what would be your reaction if somebody would come to your house and asks you or a member of your family a question "Why your family is in such a mess".
although, the question seems to be of "curiosity" in nature, it may convey different meaning to different people, it depends on who is asking and who is being questioned, i.e. let say that there are 2 set of poor family, one family asks the other, you might get a honest answer and not being over-sensitive about it, because both families knows that they are on the same level or status in life,
However, if one rich family would asks a poor family the same question, you may get a different answer with over-sensitivity about it.
I don't think that the question will not result of being "over-sensitive" it will always does.
Hi Bob
some years ago, a foreign TV-crew, made a report about my country. They made a lot of questions, and they themselves came up with the answers after a deptgoing servey. Most answers were right spot on, but even so I did not like the answers. My reaction were, who are they to critizise my country, when obviously, they have problems in their own country. Had it been one of my own countrymen that came with the same statements, I would have reacted othervise.
Having not read the article and not knowing the newspaper I could speculate that the writer would try to put bad blood between philippinos and foreigners, But then why?
I think that our "sensitivity" reacts different, depending who is asking the question.
I ask myself, if I were living in the Philippines, how would I react?
To be honest, I would most likely react to, why did he not ask this question in another way, so it would not in any way put mistakes between the locals and the foreigners.
i'm not going too long about this. i do think sometimes pinoys overreact. this is the same throughout the world. i did laugh when a manila mayor proclaimed an american actress persona non grata for complaining about the city's garbage problem a few years back. talk about denial.
and yes, those answers in the article were inane, too sensitive, immature & missing the complete point of the question (which is valid. the country is not in good shape). so i won't even defend the answers.
i do think however, there is a need to understand why the reaction. from the trauma & insecurities of centuries of foreign colonization. a beaten down mentality that we, filipinos, believe that anything foreign made is better. even in our appearance, it is better to have foreign (read:caucasian) features to look better. you get the point. we're a beaten down people. and nothing is going our way for decades (explains our fanaticism over any success made internationally – a half pinoy WWE wrestler! a flyweight boxing champ! well, we should fly the congressmen & cabinet leaders to vegas to watch the fight! you get the point).
it's a reflex action these answers. it's almost as if it's all we've got & it just feels good to just tell the foreigner to go to hell. the answers shows our insecurities as a nation. i don't like it & roll my eyes when we go over-defensive about these things. but delving into why this is so to some pinoys is also important.
heck, we've got only one hero who actually succeeded & beat a foreign invader. and that was over 400 years ago.
Bob, good article..Made me think of myself too..Yes we can be very overly sensitive about certain things especially when they are directed at our weakness and failures. It is quite hard to get it out the system. It has something to do with the 300 years of colonization of the Spaniards.Filipinos have been so discriminated during those times that maybe..just maybe..the got tired of it…and so it got into our system…hehehe..
Hi Bob,
An interesting topic today. Actually, I agree that Filipino's can come across as a bit oversensitive at times. However, I think the question was phrased in such a way as to make people defensive and irritated in the first place. Perhaps, if the question was: "Our country faces a lot of challenges and seems to be in a real mess, how would you explain to a foreigner what you see as the roots of our problems?", then it would be the question that was answered rather than the anger produced that was addressed.
In fact, I have made the mistake of asking insensitive questions about other people's countries at times, and found myself met with an unobjective and irritated example, so I'd suggest that it's perhaps just not Filipino's that would react in this way.
Now, I have not had time to read all the responses to your article this morning, so if I have just said exactly the same as 30 other respondents, I do apologise.
Jim
I read a few responses now though…and it seems even your having the apparent audacity to tackle the subject has raised a few hackles. Whatever happened to objectivity? Maybe some of the respondents should note that the question is not asked by you, or indeed any foreigner, but by a Filipino publication!
LOL
Jim
Hi Dans – Thanks for your information. One of the reasons I am asking about this is so that I can understand why there would be such a reaction, so what you say is helpful to me.
I guess we all have different ways of coping with the past.hehehe.. Honestly,I grew up in a Christian School using an American curriculum…so it was okay for me when foreigners say something negative about our country's failures…However, such feelings only emerged when I got to college. Maybe it is how we were taught that sometimes we do not see the real issues when somebody points out our failures. When I was in college my teacher always points out that I (though she did not say it directly) do not love my country since I am more knowledgeable about things outside our country. Maybe she was pointing out that I could not speak fluent Tagalog therefore I am not nationalistic. Then there is the media airing these politicians and activists. Many of what they say always sends a wrong impression to those who are watching or listening to the news. Sometimes I do not know if it is nationalism or just plain egoism.. My rule of the thumb is criticisms are there to help us grow. Whether we like it or not they will always be there. It may be aired through the media or just in plain conversation criticisms will always be there. If one looks at it as an insult then he loses. When one looks at it as an instruction, a tool, a stimuli for development or growth then he wins. Honestly, taking in the issues and accepting them is really quite hard to swallow. I can however, only speak for myself and try to impress upon others to look on the real issues not the hurted ego.
I think I have been living in the Pines too long. The country is in a mess? What mess?
Hi johnray – I appreciate you taking the time to explain your feelings about this. I like your attitude.
Hi Pete – 😆
Sensitivity North America Style? Ask a Canadian if he is an American and I will show you sensitivity. I'm NOT American!……. ahh soory.
Sensitivity, Pinoy style, I don't even want to go down that road…. lol.
After spending many drinking hours with the relo's, the topic about politics and poverty came up. I use to offer my best possible criticism and take on things. Now I just say to the guys, open another Red Horse beer and ice up the Tanduay and eat all you can.
Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Hi Pete – You are like me. I used to enjoy a good political discussion. These days, I move on to something else. It's generally a no-win discussion.
I get asked that question all the time from pinoys, I always tell them they have a real bad problem with the corruption..but its not unlike how it is in the USA….the only major difference is our elected thieves tend to hide it better and our vast econonmy tends … by the most part not to reflect it as much ( unless u include the federal reserve cartel ) unlike the RP where it bleed the economic life out of the Country.I felt the author was just being direct..no problem with me.
Men are men, man is man..u can change the color of thier skin, thier orgin , thier religion…but peel all that away and we are all human with the same virtues and faults, of which greed and power were to two biggest brothers to escape pandoras box.
Hi Brian – ouch! True, though! 😯
Sorry BoB to take up your web space. When I logged onto your site, about 10 people just decided to visit and come to dinner. A mini crowd are watching me as I type LOL.
I asked them the question why are you people sensitive? Well bad move on my part, it caused a mini riot, especially amongst the women! But I blamed you and they all went back to eating their rice, fried fish and lumpia. Thanks BoB, next article please lol.
Thanks. Just trying to things right and proper..It's hard most of the times but I must try……
That was funny Pete…laughed so hard had my morning coffee coming out my nose…tasty too….
SIR Bob, hahahaha I like that! I think both Paul and Sally have a points. The people of the Philippines are embarassed because it is their country. They love her and asking a question is like pointing out a pimple on ones face. You know it is there, but you can do nothing about it. I too am embarrassed by things going on in my country(USA). But I try and do my part to makes things better and the rest..well will have to take care of itself. On being sensitve, I think Americans have a piece of that sensitive pie too. I can't tell you how many times am sitting in a bar and hear patrons telling other countries to "go to hell" when they criticize our politics. No matter where you go in the world, talking politics about one's country is the same as talking about religion and both are a no win situation! But when you are visiting the philippines what do you talk about that won't provoke sensitivity? If you ask me about things going on in my country, I am going to ask you the same type of questions about your country. But I am trying to open channels of communications to get new ideas about how to handle things in my country that I may not have thought of. But if all I am going to get is a "go to hell", that saddens me since I too want to settle in a nice place in Mindanao.
Hi Pete – I want to thank you for winning me many new friends! 😆
Hi johnray – thanks for trying!
Hi brian – Ha ha… You got to enjoy your coffee twice!
Hi John – Don't take me wrong. If you talk about such a subject, you won't get the "go to hell" from many people. If you say the wrong thing, though, you probably won't make many friends!
Yea ! Go do something more important ,like watching a Durian ripen all week ….After reading all these reply's ..I, myself think it is a very redundant question that the reporter put forth, but it generated reader for the paper., only the bottom line counts ? ….But it's not my place to say or is it … Bob does a very good job of presenting this site and it's topics ..and the only answer there is ..is Politics .. what else can corrupt any country so badly ..that is just a pesos worth of thought ….Phil
SIR Bob, you really opened a can of worms today! hahaha. Sally, I think your "honesty" to Rory is wayyy to harsh. Your statements lead right to what Rory is speaking to. When one ask a point blank question that appear to be "telling" that person something he already knows would make anyone sensitive. If I was to say to someone "why are you stupid"? From that person's point of view, he is assuming I am and want to get my reasoning as to why. I think in the article, the question should have been re-worded instead of sounding like it came from a "factual" point of knowing. Rory, if you were to ask me that same question, I would give you my opinion. There are alot of things not right in America but I live here. So I do what I can and move on….
SIR Bob, you really opened a can of worms today! hahaha. Sally, I think your "honesty" to Rory is wayyy to harsh. Your statements lead right to what Rory is speaking to. When one ask a point blank question that appear to be "telling" that person something he already knows would make anyone sensitive. If I was to say to someone "why are you stupid"? From that person's point of view, he is assuming I am and want to get my reasoning as to why. I think in the article, the question should have been re-worded instead of sounding like it came from a "factual" point of knowing. Rory, if you were to ask me that same question, I would give you my opinion. I like dialog and human contact from all over the world.
On a serious note, asking a Pino why is the Pines in a mess is like asking your mother-in-law, what's wrong with her daughter! Could be lots of things wrong but mum doesn't want to tell you!
Also, 3 years ago I met a yank (an American), first yank I ever met in 47 years, in the Pines, Americans are a dime a dozen. He met an Aussie women over the net and decided to come and live in Oz. We had a short convo, it went like this….all is true except the last sentence.
" In the States ourrr houses are cheaperrr, our taxes lowerrr, our roads smotherrr, our automobiles ( wtf is that? )….'cars you mean?', yeahhh carrrs are cheaper and bigger. In the States the food is betterrr and served in bigger quaantities. Everything is big in the States, we have a Grand Canyon its massive…"
I didn't think there was a country that was better than ours, but did I get upset or oversensitive….no way. I replied to the Yank.
You might have the Grand canyon but we got a rock ( Ayers Rock) to fill it!!
The question posed by the PhilStar writer is nothing but to provoke its readers, intrigue sells. Yes, its a narrowminded question and if anyone think there's nothing wrong with it, I think they're naive. How could anyone answer to an insulting question objectively without retorting back? But the "go to hell" reply is a little bit toom much.
Its only a hypothetical question but I doubt that a foreigner would ask the same thing to a Filipino unless he's searching for a fracas.
It's a "rubbing it in, in your face" kind of question. You cannot ask it without an insulting tone to it. The question is very generalizing. Asking the person why the country is messed up is like saying its citizens are messed up.
I've been asked the same question by a white officemate, "what's wrong with your country?" when he read from an online news that a Filipino robbed a PAL flight from Davao in mid-air and jumped off the plane with his homemade parachute. Well, I retort to the fellow that his question is stupid and ignorant, you cannot generalized the whole nation because of the stupid acts of the few and the idiot shut up…
This is on the same line as this generalizing question, "Why do Americans love to kill their babies?"….Womens rights? Yeah right…
I've read the comments from top to bottom and find most of it as sweeping statements. These commenters have already concluded based on
the harsh responses made by a few, that the whole Filipinos are overly sensitive. How does a statements made by few individuals has become the over all gauge of the Filipino being an onion skinned?
"Even being proud or your country doesn’t justify anyone being overtly sensitve about others peoples comments or critisms and instead perhaps a little education is in order not violence, but diplomacy. Quite unfortunately, sensitivity and a host of other barriers will hold this country back for eternity unless they waant to change or someone says enough is enough with sensitivty. And in about 2-3 years the USA will be stronger than ever becasue we know how do deal with our sensitivities."
Hey Sally, please stop with your generalizing….geeeeeeeezzz
Hi folks, I have been cruizing this site, of course because my beloved lives in Zamboanga City and we are looking around for a place to be together. Ive been to Phils 3 times, I truly love the Filipinos, surprising how the deepness of everyone native feels like home to someone who grew up on Navajo/Zuni reservations, then traveled to the real Americas south ( South/ Central America). Just let me say all the above commentaries have value( well most, except the dumb Bush supporter) are bright. but come on you guys! we all- as Homo Sapiens need a sense of personal power, and if someones question seems innocuous to you, but breaks into anothers sense of self ownership, YOU messed up! No amount of " I wish they were more objective" makes that ok. Lord I have messed that one up so many times.
Michael
Being in an inter-racial relationship, I have to admit I sometimes get irritated by my American husband's comments about the Philippines myself. It's not the over-sensitivity problem with me – it's the fact that I really have no answers to his questions! There are no answers to why it is the way it is, when it can be better. You wish it were, but it ain't!
As for "mess-ups" here in my country of birth or in the US, my other country now, they do exist. And they are just that – mess-ups. I freely spoke my mind when we were in the US, "This is the US – we have no water?!" or "This is a first-world country, why can't they fix this or that!" and the controversial electoral college comment, "That's a lousy way to elect a president…" – but only with my husband who was never over-sensitive or felt like I was attacking his country because I wasn't…
Hi Mita – Personally, I think that most Americans would say that anybody who lives in the USA has a right to speak up about whatever the problems are. Even those who are not living there can speak up if they want to. You, I believe are a US Citizen, so why not?
I think that the relationship between you and Dave, and also Feyma and I is more than inter-racial. I like to call it inter-cultural, because we are different in ways much deeper than race. Our cultures probably separate us more than race does, in my opinion.
Thanks for stopping by, Mita!
Hi Macky,
Yes, I agree w/ you that the country is messed up. I think the whole world agrees that the country is messed up.
I only go by what was asked of me pointblank. I cannot add anything to the question like the foreigner and I talked a lot before & really seemed confused about here.
The foreigner having asked me that question pointblank should not be surprised to find me sensitive. Unless, that foreigner is impersonating Borat. In that case, he can get away w/ it.
Macky, I have wondered this myself. What if an american tourist in France asked pointblank a French local the same question?
roy says:
March 10, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Hi Macky,
Yes, I agree w/ you that the country is messed up. I think the whole world agrees that the country is messed up.
I only go by what was asked of me pointblank. I cannot add anything to the question like the foreigner and I talked a lot before & really seemed confused about here.
The foreigner having asked me that question pointblank should not be surprised to find me sensitive. Unless, that foreigner is impersonating Borat. In that case, he can get away w/ it.
Macky, I have wondered this myself. What if an american tourist in France asked pointblank a French local the same question
The cancer in our society is so deep that a slight touch incurs so much pain. Just like what Jose Rizal in one of his famous books, "Noli Me Tangere", portrays, the Filipino society, particularly the culture, is akin to a very sick patient with open wounds, who would not want to be touched.
Funny thing, the worst part about it is not the disease itself, but the ignorance and/or delusion of the patient that he has the disease and he needs help! We are a proud race, after all 🙂
this article reminds me of an incident back in 2007. My then 9 months old daughter and I went there(philippines) but we didn't got the chance to enjoy our stay because she was getting sick ALL THE TIME! asthma attack, diarrhea, cough, fever she was in-and-out of the hospital and wasnt getting better. I was unsatisfied with the way they took care of my daughter and I always complain hahahahaha! I made a comment about poor health care system………. they didn't like it! ooopppss!
we just stayed for 3 months
Hi everybody,
From my experiance, many foreigners who are here, feel superior to Filipinos, maybe only subconsciously but they do feel that way. I remember to be like that myself in the past, and wanted to teach them why they are in a mess. Now I just do not say anything about the politics or corruption and it seams to be the best way. And I also think if I was a Filippino I would also say; if you do not like it p*ss off, go back to where you come from. It does not mean I am stupid and do not know my country is in a mess, but I had enough of this patronising, we do not seam to be able to fix it, so stop reminding us and be-littling us, maybe in time we will fix it but now we have enough problems as it is, to worry about answering your silly questions.
Hello Bob,
Im a brit living in the philippines for the last 11 months & ive been married to a filipina for almost 6 years & i find myself getting more & more angry with the people with their attitude. I think they are very uneducated & have no interest in anything not philippines. They can criticise anything about foreigners but they all hate inner criticism. They only know & only want to know about philippine people & everything philippines. The government wants to keep it that way as it suits them. Try having a discussion with any filipina about buying & selling houses for profit like you do in any western country. They have no idea at all. & a very simple thing they build new houses with a wall connection to connect your television ariel into but when it goes to the roof there is no outlet so still the ariel has to come down the outside of the wall & in through a window. Mention it to the builders & now they cant speak english. I also find ( & so do most filipinas ) everyone is so distrustful of everyone else as they know given the chance they would rob from them & wouldnt bat an eyelid. I cant see the philippines ever being able to move forward as the people are so backward. Now im sorry if that offends but please try to think about it & in every aspect try to improve & the country will improve. Good luck to all foreigners here.
Hi Peter – I think that you need to make a decision, my friend. Either learn to accept the way it is here, or go somewhere else. I am not trying to be mean or flip with you, I mean exactly what I said. If you are that unhappy here, you cannot continue to live here and have a happy life. Why waste your life being miserable when you could go home and be happier?
Here is how it is, Peter, you cannot change 90 Million people. I don't agree with most of what you say about Filipinos, but that doesn't matter. You see, there are 90 million of them, and only 1 of you. You are living in their country. If you don't like the way it is, all of those 90 Million won't change in order to make you happy. You have to learn to accept the way it is here, and if you can't do that you can either remain unhappy or leave. It is that simple.
Good luck to you Peter. I hope that you can make some changes to be happier in life!