No, Filipinos are not liars in general. Of course there are people who are liars in every race, but from what I can see, Filipinos have no more greater degree of liars than any other race.
Why do I even ask? Well, I hear a lot of foreigners, tell me that they think Filipinos are liars. Why do they say that? Well, I believe it’s because of a language barrier.
What I hear from a lot of foreigners is, they will last Filipinos questions, and whether the Filipinos answer yes or no, their actions are not the same as what they answer, or the way they answer it turns out to be untrue.
There is something that I’ve come to realize a number of years ago after I moved here, and last week my Bisayan lesson was on the same subject and really drove things home for me. The way that English is used, and the way that Philippine languages are used, in terms of questions and answers are totally different. Did you realize that if you ask a Filipino question, and he answers no, he can be agreeing with you? It’s true. It all depends on the way you phrase the question that you ask.
For example, let’s say you have a maid working for you, and she cooks for you also. Around midday, you ask her a question:
Don’t we have some chicken for dinner?
So upon hearing this question your maid answers:
Yes.
Now for a Westerner like you or me, this would mean that yes we do have some chicken for dinner. But in the Filipino languages, you asked, “don’t we have,” and the maid answered that “yes, we don’t have.” She just told you that there is no chicken for dinner, but the way she answered, you will think that there is chicken. It’s very confusing, don’t you think? Since there was a negative word in your sentence she is agreeing in the negative. It’s completely different from the way a Westerner thinks. However, her answer is honest, she just thinks in a different way and speaks in a different way than we do.
I’ve lived here for more than eight years, and I have to think hard when asking questions like this in hearing the answers, to make sure that I understand correctly. The best thing you can do is to get somebody to completely say the answer, not just yes or no. For example, for clarity let the maid say “yes, we don’t have any chicken.” As long as you can get a complete sentence answer like this, the answer will be understandable and clear, but with a one-word yes or no answer it can lead to some real misunderstandings.
So, going back to the question in the title of this column, no, Filipinos are not liars. They just used words in a different way than we do, and it leads to misunderstanding on our part. It takes a long time to get used to, but with practice, you can understand.
Hi bob,
I think, the problem is the way Filipinos translate it, most of them translate it literally and word by word, as a result.. misunderstanding.. just like in india, most indians shakes their head when you ask them questions as if they are in disagreement with you but they are not, indians would answer you with "yes" while they are shaking their head as if they are saying "no". quite amusing really.
🙂
Aw, Bob, I think you're lying! 😆
Hi dans – Interesting. I've never been to India before, so I was unaware of that.
Hi Paul – ❓
Hi Bob – 😆 😆 😆 Have to laugh that I've experienced the same sentiments about kanos posed by Filipinos! No one's immune to miscommunication. Besides, it makes for good chizmiz 😳
Hi Paul – interesting to hear that. Yes, I believe that there can be a lot of miscommunication across cultures.
hello bob
i also run into this problem with my fiancee and her family.
alot of us foreigners have what u say slang or different usage for different words.one time when i called my brother in usa from panabo and my fiancee asked what we were discussing because we use different ways of comunicating compared to proper english.i laughed at her and told her what i was saying.i think my fiancee will take a little time to adjust to our slang here.in northeastern usa we have different slang then say southern states.kinda funny.i think most generaly filipino people are honest.as long as you know the people and you can usually tell if they are sincere.i do know sometimes my family there doesent allways tell me everything.so mabe sometimes i make it difficult for them to be honest with me.i mean i get upset sometimes so they dont like to upset me much.this is a very different article but very interesting.
salamat bob
Hi Ron W – yes, that's another thing that can lead to miscommunication, when you don't understand the language, but everyone around you is speaking a language you don't understand. It's something that can lead to miscommunication and also suspicion on the part of a person that can understand.
Hi Bob,
Your point is good, found another 2 examples. Filipinos are honest to the point of embarrasment at times. In a store rather than tell you they cant understand you they are "out of stock". That is a pretty normal one. The one that really made me stop and think (and go pretty red), We went away with some Filipino friends and I said it was so good having people like them to chat to. The one woman turned around and said "yes it is nice to chat to you, but I never understand you so I just agree".
Sure made me learn to speak more clearly.
Have a good day
Carolynn
Hi Carolynn –
Those are two good examples! Yes, I have experienced many times in the stores when they tell me that something is out of stock, then you go on to the next aisle and see the product that you just asked for. I'm a little bit surprised that the woman told you that you could never understand you, that's a pretty direct statement!
Bob
Let me throw my 2P at you. Miscommunication in a PhilAm household goes on ALOT. Here are a couple ones that most people from RP seem to do ALOT.
They Beat around the bush and have a hard time being"Frank"
Instead of saying " Idon't Know"they give you some information that is very inaccurate.
They get "Pissed off" if you you prove them wrong on something.
RP readers please do not be offended as no offense is intended. Most RP people I have met and have as friends are wonderful giving people who always seem to smile even if they are pennyless.
Hi Neal In RI –
In my years being involved in the Philippines, I have been involved in each of the things he mentioned, and indeed these are touchy subjects. I'm with you, no offense is intended at all, and I hope that people won't take it that way. In my opinion, it's good to air our differences, discuss them and come to a mutual understanding.
Hey Bob… I think a lot of the miscommunication is due to the very Asian concept of "saving face", which I believe you have written about before. This concept is alien to most Westerners, hence the misunderstanding about being "out of stock" and so on. It is interesting to see how the perception carries on in day to day life. Being in sales, I deal with the face saving back and forth every day in nearly every country in Asia… It is very easy to feel deceived or misled unless you take a step back.
Great article Bob, and when I first arrived I was convinced that everyone was a liar and that I was also going mad as I had lost the ability to speak in the English language. But after several months I realised that YES can mean NO depending on how well you know the person, as everyone wants to please you and the word NO in some cases means they have let you down.
I spent 4 hours in a taxi looking for a place that my friend knew, but after four hours he told me he had no idea where it was and could not understand my anger.
In his eyes he was helping me, its not just a language barrier its a culture thing too, and to be honest I now write things down and in business even get them to sign it too.
Sad to say that another reason is some people are just lazy and will say yes to you with no intention to do it, just to get you out of their face for a few hours.
Hi John Miele – funny that you mention that John, I have an article coming up later this week about "saving face," I think that it's a combination of languages being different, and the saving face part comes in to.
Hi john – A big part of it, though John, is the way they you phrase the question. If your question has any kind of negative in it, and they answer no, that means yes to us! It's quite confusing!
Hi Bob- I find that my Aussie accent really throws the Philippinos, and when I make a joke about something they just dont get it, so I have to be careful to not offend anyone. Some of my family even avoid sitting and talking with me because they are embarrassed they have trouble understanding me. I dont think anyone really lies to me but I do know some people will try and rip me off if I am not accompanied by a Philippino.
On another note, my wife would like to know what kind of fish you are cutting at the market? (from the photo gallery)
Hi anthony – and very true, jokes are not easily translated from culture to culture, especially when a second language is involved. I think in most cases, it's better to put your sense of humor aside until you know the people better, and they are more comfortable in understanding what you're saying. Once they know you and understand how you talk, you can try a joke or two, but before that it can lead to problems.
I, that fish I was cutting in the photo? That's tangigue. 😆
are you calling me a …. oh wait, that makes sense 😉
there are times when i get confused myself asking a question. there's also the answer "maybe" which may mean no.
Hi Macky– ha ha, I wasn't calling you anything… maybe. 😆
Hi sandra – thank you for following my site, it’s nice to know that you enjoy it.
I’m very sorry you hear about your family members involved in the incident. Indeed, it’s very sad. I do hope that the government uses this incident to take action that will ensure the safety of lives in the future.
LOL! This topic is really funny to me because I just got done about an hour ago talking to a friend about this. It can be very frustrating to deal with because you do feel you have been deceived or they have not been totally up front with you.
But usually that is not the case. To be honest I think the saving face issue is something that really hurts a lot of filipinos. I cannot tell you how many times in my last two trips there that taxi cab drivers blatantly tried to rip me off…in America we would have been much more confrontational with the driver.
In the filipines the opportunity to "save face" is given which seems to allow a lot of B.S. to go on that shouldn't.
I am not saying filipiinos should be like Americans but when something is obviously wrong or being done wrong I think people should speak up.
As an example….the recent tragedy of the ferry during the typhoon. I talked to three filipino people in Tokyo two days after it sank. I mentioned that people in the coast guard and the ship owners need to be really held accountable and all three of them said, "No, we feel bad for the head of the coast guard. He needs a job also."
I was stunned! Stunned is an understatement. They felt bad that the ships owners and the head of the coast guard were being guestioned!! I really coudn't believe it.
Hi Todd -I have also comments like the one you mentioned about the Coast Guard person. Like you, I find it amazing. Somebody's lack of action can lead to the deaths of hundreds of people, and yet people feel sorry for him. Strange.
regarding the comments on having sympathy for the ship owners & the coast guard. i have none. i feel very un-filipino now. no lie.
The thing that still drives me crazy, even after being married for eight years is when I ask my wife a direct question. To me there are only three possible answers, yes, no, or maybe. Often she answers in the very confusing, "maybe no" I still have no idea if she is saying defineitely no, or maybe yes.
I think part of the misunderstanding is the word wala. In English, the word no can be used to mean the absence of. "Do you have salt?" "No." But in Pilipino (Tagalog & Cebuano), one would not use the word no (hindi or dili), but the word wala. "Do you have salt?" "Wala." So if a question is asked regarding the absence of an item, an appropriate response is to agree.
Hi macky – I guess I am un-Filipino to backingspace because I totally agree with you.
Hi Joe Parisi – Feyma and I have been married for almost 18 years now, and we still sometimes have misunderstandings regarding language. It certainly is something that must be overcome or least taken into consideration.
Hi Gary – You're certainly right on that, wala means the absence of. That might lead to some confusion, it's something I hadn't considered.
I know what you mean, Filipinos and Westerners think differently with language. But then husbands and wives miscommunicate even when they grow up on the same street 😉
Hi Gary – I certainly can't argue with you there!
Todd… I can tell you that the people who I work with in the Navy who are having to deal with the ferry aftermath are taking that disaster very seriously. That being said, the accident had numerous causes, some preventable and some not. Bahala Na is simply wrong in this case.
What is disconcerting is the attitude you described is common in the marine business…Money is spent when only absolutely necessary. Since the Ferry was domestic, many IMO and other regulations were not applicable or enforced. It sits squarely on the government to protect human life and they dropped the ball due to economic reasons. I will never forget an incident I experienced at a trade show in Singapore about 6 years ago. My company had developed a "man overboard" pendant that emitted a beacon when submerged in salt water. Our computer would receive the signal and would automatically plot the location on the ship's chart. We had a nice display, with a little Chinese booth babe in a bikini standing in a kiddie pool (We hired her from a very exclusive KTV… Gorgeous! 😀 But, I digress) . We dumped a bucket of water over her and the pendant worked as it should have. There was a group of executives from one of the Asian oil companies watching (I won't say which one) and the CEO stood there muttering how that would never work. I said, "Of course it works! She's all wet and we've just fished her out of the pool." He replied, "You don't understand… If a member of our crews fall overboard, it is far too expensive to turn around and pick them up… Much cheaper to pay the widow!" 🙄 This statement was entirely serious… No joke. There is equipment available on the market that POSSIBLY could have prevented the accident, but when life is valued less than money, money nearly always prevails.
Hi Bob
One of your commenters mentioned the word "wala". It reminds me of a conversation I had when I first visited the Philippines. I asked a friend what wala meant and he said "nothing" I said it has to mean something because I hear people saying it. He repeated "It means nothing." This led to the who's on first type conversation of Laurel and Hardy.
hi bob, i've been a fun of your website for quit a while now. regarding the sympathy for the ship owner and the coast gaurd? i hate both of them. they should be both held responseble for the 2 family member of mind,my sister's husband and 16 yr. old son, were on that boat and leaving 5 kids behind. i am sooooo un-filipino now. everybody there are very slow. its been over 2 weeks now sence the boat sunk and they found my brother inlaw's body off the shore of sebuyan island just 3 days ago. my sister and the family lives in manila. today she left her 5 kids with her neighbore and fly to cebu and pay her onw tirket to claim her husbands body. my nephew is still missing.
i'm sory for the off topic here. i am just very frustrated
Hi Sandra, too be very honest: I agree with you strongly. Hi Bob, great topic. Good, I don't have these problems any more being married to Rose since more then 25 years, as you know. But the "yes"-"no"-maybe" syndrome can be find at any corner. Before loosing the face, most Filipinos will just give you a wrong information instead of saying "I don't know"… 😉 I can live with it meanwhile… 😉
Hi John Miele – while, that some stories told about the safety device that your company had and was selling. It reminds me a lot of the situation with buses here in the Philippines. I've been told by many people that if a bus driver hit somebody he is under instructions to make sure the person is dead, even if that means backing up and doing it a second time. Cheaper to pay off the death than a lifetime of payments to a disabled person. 😯
Hi Dan Mihaliak – ha ha, now that my friend is funny.
Hi Klaus – thanks for stopping by today Klaus. I can also live with it, although I prefer more clarity.
I am a filipina and married to an american.
I tell my husband to be careful becasue many filipinos lie.
I am a filipina. I have experienced this all through my life.
Usually the lie is not big. But occasionally big.
The problem this creates is that you don't know when they are telling the truth or lie. So we just assume they are lying most of time, so to protect ourselves.
Again most lies are not big, just so that they can cover up their mistakes or to not look stupid.
In some cases, children learn to lie even from young age, and come to consider this "normal" in some ways.
For example, parents tell their children to tell their teachers/schools that they have no money so that they don't have to contribute to school activities. Sure, most activities are unnecessary to begin with, but instead of saying NO we don't want to contribute, the children are told to lie, so that teachers don't get angry.
There are many, many situations like this where people are more or less forced to lie to survive. And i suppose for some people, lying becomes a habit afte a while. This probably creates impression toforeigners that most filipinos lie.
This is something I am not proud of, but have to be honest about.
And the fact that out government and businessmen lie regularly and seeing it on thenews all the time certainly does not help our children.
Hi khaye – Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Hearing what you have to say makes me feel sad though. In my experience, and my observation is that there are no more liars among Filipinos than any other race or culture. Every race in every culture has people that lie. I guess the fact is that every one of us lies at one time or another, and I personally don't know that Filipinos lie more than anybody else.
Hello Bob,
As I said, I am not proud to say what I said.
But just think.
When you lived in america, do people tell foreign visitors who visit america that they should be careful and don't trust americans because they lie? Why is it in philippines most filipinos tell foreign visitors this?
We say this to our balikbayan relatives this also, not just foreigners.
I certainly don't think filipinos lie because it is our culture or anything like that. But i do think that many do lie because they are forced to do so to survive. It's a very difficult country to merely survive.
Most foreigners dont truly understand how difficult it is to live here. Even those who have lived here many years only see a certain side.
Well, let me ask you a question. Do you think american politicians lie more or philippine politicians lie more? Do you think american policemen lie more or philippine police? I think i know your answer. I think you are being sensitive to thefelllings of philippine people by saying what you say, which is nice of you. But sad truth is not the case.
I just hope that philippines can improve enough so that we are past the need to feed ourselves, so that we don't need to lie out of selfishness and that that we can begin to see how we can help others.
Hi khaye – I think I've been pretty honest of my comments. Don't know what else to say.
um, i don't think i want to be bunched in with the comment above. culture or economic circumstances are valid reasons for this topic
but a complete generalization of pinoys as a instinctive liars is something i will vehemently disagree upon.
my life experience is clearly different from khaye's. sad to see someone making a sweeping generalization of 70 million of her own countrymen.
and yes, i am prone to bad writing without an edit option. bob, where's my edit key?
Just had a thought, I am from South Africa. There is such a good saying there… "Ja nee". Directly… "yes no". So not that unique here. usually used eg. it was hot today,,, Ja Nee. Also, do you have one like this? If you ask your maid in SA what happened, how did something break, go missing etc, you get the answere "eish" Kinda means, I dont know/understand/care/take responsibility….
Think this is what makes languages such fun.
Been thinking again, really good topic this one. I saw the most stunning example of someone lying this week. We were in Mali and I spent most of the time at the hotel while my fiance was at a conference. There was an "artist" there who had proberly never made a thing in his life, but boy was he clever. He had jewelry and masks from the market. He would quietly sit and listen to people and when he had them figured he would aproach, He punted one mask as a fertility mask for a newly married couple.A rain calling mask for some guy moaning about how dry it was in his home town. A fedility mask for someone whos sister was getting married. Same mask. Fair do's to him I say, if you want to buy something research it first, and hey they guy had to eat. We bought stuff from him at hugely reduced prices, think he figured he was being watched. But there was no malace in it. That was his job. Everyone was happy and had what they "wanted". Was funny to watch though
I suppose I was as guilty because and American reporter and I used to get ring side seats for the show every night. Sorry…
Hi macky – I hear you, can't say I disagree. Of course, everybody is entitled to their own opinion, though.
Regarding the editing of comments… I might consider letting people review and edit before posting a comment (although anybody can do that now too), but I would never consider letting people return later and edit their comment, because after others have commented on the comment in question, people could edit it, totally changing the meaning, if you know what I mean.
Hi Carolynn – Not sure if you realize, but I used to live in South Africa. That is when I was a kid, though. I was not aware of the word "Ja nee" or "eish" but I do find those interesting, and really tie in with the topic here today! I see a lot of synchronicity between what you say and maids in the Philippines too.
Thanks for commenting!
Hi Carolynn – That "artist" and I could really do some great business together! What a smart (and tricky) entrepreneur!
Bob,
As you know I am most of the time I am on the side of our fellow Filipinos but there is one thing that bothered me. Call it a lie or not.
When I first moved here and a few times mentioned I was an Architectural Project Manager in the States and was looking for possibe work. Not once but 4-5 times someone would tell me they know this person and/or this person and weeks later if you ask them if they made contact, they reply something like "I have been busy and do not have the time." I think if they do not want to help, do not offer.
I was told once they do this to show they are important and have contacts.
Here is a language thing that gets me… the word "or". You ask someone would you like this OR that and they reply Yes. I then reply Yes to which? 😆
Hi Bob- no worries on the edit thing. It's just me trying to make light of things.
Whenever I re-read my comments after posting, I keep noticing mistakes & I just-never-learn! But ,yeah, I totally understand what you mean about the comments.
Besides, your site has made me learn things about myself — that I would be a horrible writer a few decades back, during the typewriter era.
sorry, for the off-topic. i'm on my net surfing work break. now, back to work before my boss find out – oh wait, i have no boss 😆
There are so many variations of the " English " language it can come to a situation where you go to an " English Speaking " country you have not been to before you sometimes don't know what to expect. Long before visiting Mindanao for the first time, I had communicated in text with people there via the internet. I did notice from time to time that I mentally would have to re-structure a sentence or word grouping to translate the words into something more easily understood.
Early on I found that English and Tagalog are national languages although there are many localized languages, some that may overlap in certain words and some that do not. I read somewhere that Filipinos appreciate it if a foriegn visitor at least makes some kind of attempt to learn at least a few words or phrases of their language.
I bought a couple of books about learning Tagalog but I found that method a bit frustrating even with the audio CD's that came with the books. I had been monitoring and occasionally participating in some IRC Channels in the parts of Mindanao I was going to be in. Watching the screen I figured if I could identify the top 25 or so most commonly " seen " words or phrases I might be able to use enough of them to put some kind of sentence together or at least get an indication of what was going on .
I remembered how some singers and recording artists have sung their songs in other languages without even knowing the language but by getting a language coach and mimicking the appropriate words. It is easy to memorize a jingle or a song if you play it a hundred times or so, especially if you like it. I found some " Jollibee " jingles and songs on youtube, some with a mix of English and tagalog. I samg along with the song to mimick the words and one by one found out what the words or phrases meant and that is how I began putting things together !
Some of the friends I had made and were with during my visit to Mindanao I could understand and verbally communicate with better than others. I always had a pen and paper pad with me just in case as I knew if all else failed we had already been communicating in text over the internet for up to 2 years. There definitley is a difference in verbal communication although I don't recall having too much difficulty at all.
I can not remember any difficulty in the retail stores I went to although I did not have time to visit as many as I really wanted to. In Imperial Appliance , Iligan City I almost forgot I was in a foriegn land, I enjoyed a nice conversation with the sales people even before they knew I was going to buy a couple of major items from them.
There were a few times however that I just had to remind myself that I was not at home in New York and to exercise patience and not to totally " loose my cool " and on a couple of occasions where I " almost " did, I told my Filipino friends after the incedent that it was my " Kano Kulture " showing.
As far as being ripped off by unscroupulos taxi drivers etc. , similar events happen to foriegners at the New York City airports too so I kind of knew what to look out for and fortunately with the few taxi's I took by myself Ihad no problems.
I never gave it any thought if Filipinos are liars any more or less than I would any other nationality. I think this has more to do with the individual than it does by their nationality. I have worked with chronic liars who, after doing it so often they do not even realize they are lying, they just do it to everybody !
Concerning the commonly used work " Wala " it was explained to me by several people that it means " Nothing " . For clarification I put it in a sentence to a Filipino friend " If you have no money, you could buy Wala , until you had some money ? " and my Filipino friend confirmed that was a good example. It still kind of baffles my mind however but that is the best definition I could find so far. SOme of the words or expressions just may not have a direct translation so you have to just try to do the best you can with it.
For a first visit to a foriegh land, I felt I did OK with verbal communication being only the most fluent in American English. After being surrounded by and exposed to a different way of using English, some of it starts to rub off and become easier to comprehend as that is how I learned British English, by spending several months there.
Hi Bob New York – Thanks for sharing that. The Tagalog thing surprises me, because the most widely spoken language in Iligan is Bisaya, not Tagalog. There are similarities between the two, though, perhaps that is why you were able to get some help by using those Tagalog words that you learned. Interesting!
Hi macky – No probs macky! Watch out for that boss though, I heard that he's a tough guy!
Hi Bruce – Yeah, I've experienced that same problem when asking "this or that" and getting the "yes" answer! Fun never stops!
Hi Bob,
Before I go bankrupt with all my 2 cents, I want to make sure to share with you what's left.
I believe the majority of Filipinos are very imaginative, visionary, thus many are artists and can be creative – with words included. (I call this the Neptunian aspect). Some are easily seduced by glamour of the western world but would not put any effort or work for it – a short cut to riches and power. Just think about this…what percentage of the working Filipinos would be willing to work 5-6 days a week, 9 hours a day for 25-30 years? No work? There's always something to do if they coose to. Those of us, who made such sacrifices, adventures to me, have no time to mince words. If we want something done now and properly, we better have the discipline to do it. Your neighbor is not going to share her next meal either.
Re: Sandra, John Miele
Wow! People can be really mean spirited, can’t they? Personally, I have no respect for these people who ignore the safety of another human being just for their own financial survival. THEY CAN GO TO H…!! Now, this is not a lie.
Good post!
took me forever to get used to "uh uh " as being a Yes lol
July 7, 2008, 8:31 pm
# 53 Bob said:
Hi Bob New York – Thanks for sharing that. The Tagalog thing surprises me, because the most widely spoken language in Iligan is Bisaya, not Tagalog. There are similarities between the two, though, perhaps that is why you were able to get some help by using those Tagalog words that you learned. Interesting!
Correct Bob, early on in some of the IRC Channels I frequented, they told me that Bisaya is the local language in those areas. I decided to stick with trying to learn at least " some " tagalog since it is supposed to be a national language along with what I would call " Filipino English " I also figured if those Jollibee jingles, songs, and advertisements were " National " that was another indicator I had to try and learn something in Tagalog. Some of my friends in Iligan are fluent in Tagalog, Bisaya, Cebuian ( spelling ? ) and English and for that matter who knows what all else as there seem to be so many localized languages in the Philippines.
It was easier for me to verbally understand some people than others although I attribute this more to accent, diction, audible level of the speakers voice and other factors. ( yes my hearing is normal ) . There were times I had to rephrase things and speak a little slower but between all of us we took it in stride and considered it as part of the fun.
There were times when the best language did not even have any words. Each night I stopped in at the " CLub Seven " to relax with my friends and enjoy sampling San Miguel and Red Horse Beer. Ordinarily I am not a drinker but reserve those occasions for when I am on vacation and know I will not be driving. After the second night at Club Seven in Iligan City, I was always greeted at the entrance with a friendly smile and a handshake which meant a lot to me. I had to force myself at times not to grossly " overtip " at the end of a great evening with friends in a pleasant atmosphere but I made sure they got something above average. Being in the service business for all of my working life, I have always strived on giving good service and I like to recognise others for the same thing. This applied to other places I frequented on my visit, sometimes just the Ambience communicated far beyond what words could convey in any language.
I would have to say the most perplexing and sometimes amusing situation I have run into a language difference is where you would least expect it, when I first began regular visits to England. I was visiting a friend who had to excuse himself as he had to " run out and pick up some Fags " ( translation : Excuse me I have to go out and buy some cigarettes ). One of my most memorable was when I was in a pub with friends for dinner, nice place it was too, the waiter comes to our table and asks if we would like desert. My friends wife without hesitation exclaims " Yes, I'll have a " Spotted Dick " . My friends knew I probably could not keep a straight face and they all looked for my reaction then we all had a good laugh over it. Spotted Dick is an English desert best described as a " suit pudding " sometimes with raisins depending on the recipie used. Best to do a websearch on that for more info.
At least I know what a " WC " " Loo " and a " CR " are now so I figure I am in decent sahpe ! LOL 😉
There are liars in every culture, more so in underdeveloped countries. This is probably due to the survival instint in us. It becomes more apparent when you are a foreigner. Usually, foreigners are targets until they learn to be "street-smart". I warn Filipinos who go overseas to work to be street-smart. They will be lied to, to take advantage of their naiveness. The same goes for foreigners who come here.
But this thread is more about the perception of lying from the language barrier. This "yes when you mean no" drives me crazy. I just have to rephrase the question to get the right answer. 😀
As for the ferry accident, it is very sad and as sailors ourselves, we feel the horrors of facing mother nature. I do not know the local maritime regulations here, but what I do know is that the Captain of the ship has final say on whether to sail or not. Through the ship's radio, we can hear other vessels. Occassionally we hear them asking the coast guards or harbour patrol on whether it was safe to depart, and they always get this answer: Sir, we are not the captain of your ship. You alone must decide. But this was in Canadian and US waters, and I am not sure how it is over here. Some of my husband's family are captains of freighters (Norwegian), and he said they always get pressure from the shipowners to meet deadlines, but in the end, the Captain can overrule if he finds that conditions are not right for the safety of his crew and ship. When I told my husband, they still have not found the captain's body, he said "frankly, if I was the captain, I prefer to have died instead of living and knowing that over 700 people died under his command".
I am not putting blame here, just stating what our experiences are and what we know. Shipowners are responsible for keeping their vessels seaworthy. Captains of ships must be experienced and have the proper credentials (esp passenger ships). Coastguards must do everything possible ASAP to do SAR (Search and rescue) when they receive distress calls. I think in this instance, they did not respond immediately – lack of resources? still too dangerous for the rescue crew?
Ellen
Hi MarcelinaWW – I have always known Filipinos to be very creative, and I suppose that ties in with the qualities that you mention, so I really do agree with you on that.
Hi Tommy – that's very true, I'm the same as you on that! And, it's quite the opposite in English.
Hi Bob New York – there are more than 80 regional languages in the Philippines. Cebuano and Bisaya are the same thing. Your experience certainly is interesting to read about.
Hi Ellen – I agree with you that immigrants are a target everywhere in the world, but hopefully less these days than before.
Regarding the sea disaster, I had the same thoughts as your husband. If I were the captain, I probably would have killed myself, rather than seeing the consequences of what happened.
This comment is directed to Jocelyn, who left a comment on this post a while ago. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, when I went to reply to you, I accidentally hit the wrong button and deleted your comment. I really apologize for that! I do appreciate your comment though.
Hello Bob,
Good articule, I was watching a science show a while back and it was on the subject of telling lies. What I learnt was the moment we learn to string a few words together we start lying, so from the very beginning as kids we are at it, "did you burn the house down and set fire to the cats tail" dad asks his son, "no dad it was my friends fault" while still holding the lighter in his hand. The truth we all lie at some stage, the trouble is the older we get the bigger the lies, except maybe the example provided above.
We tell lies for many reasons, man tell lies to get a woman into bed and woman tell lies to stay out of bed. Woman tell man on pay day they love him because she wants to buy a new dress, man tell lies because the dress she bought looks like it designed by someone who was smoking too much happy weed and she looks like a dogs breakfast in it.
Not to upset her tells she looks great in it, he did that for safety reasons, as it is not a nice feeling copping a woman's handbag in the head.
Anyway to accuse other nationalities of lies we need to look at ourselves first.
Miscommunications happens in all walks of life, that also starts in the family of people speaking the language, a lot of what we say to each other even of the same language is quite often interprated in a different way. So speaking to a person from a different culture makes it much harder for a person to get his or her point across.
I will give a classic example: when Australian talks to an American, the American cannot always understand the Australian and yet we both countries speak english. Simplified I know.
So how do we expect cultures to understand us, when quite often we cannot understand each other in our own cultures.
It pays to look at one's self before we critisize somebody else first.
Have a nice day
Steven
Hi Steven – I really have to agree with what you're saying. None of us can really cast the first stone, can we? Just for clarity, I want to say, what I wrote was meant more for understanding and casting the first stone.
I wonder how some people can make a sweeping generalization that Filipinos are liars (or that Filipinos are dog eaters…I've had a few encounters about that here in Switzerland). I'm a Filipino, but I'm not a liar.
Lying cannot really be attributed to one's race. There are liars in all the countries of the world. It's more a character thing (human nature) rather than a cultural one.
There are liars in the Philippines just as there are liars in other countries. We live in a fallen world, after all.
P.S. I do understand your point, though, about the language thing which can cause confusion. And foreigners might perceive this as lying rather than miscommunication.
Hi Jayred – yes, my point really was to say that Filipinos are not liars, because I hear from a lot of foreigners that they are. I really feel it's just a misunderstanding the, that's what I wrote the article. Thank you for stopping by and commenting!
Hi Bob,
I read your article again (correct spelling this time), plus your comment to me and proceeded to fall of my high horse. I understand what you are saying and if it takes somebody like you, who has lived in the Philippines for a long time chance has a person who is just visiting or has stayed only a short time in there.
Because a vast majority of Filipinos speak in english foriegners from english speaking countries naturally think that Filipinos will understand them. So naturally they get frustrated because the foriegner has felt they have explained themselves and all they get is a blank look.
I know this as I am just as guilty myself, it took a lady in the Manila who I chat with to help understand where I was going wrong.
The thing with a lot of expats is that they do not always want to know what the locals think or feel, they just want to use the country for their own benefit. They try to area into a little Australia or America, Germany or what ever country they are from.
To be fair this happens in any country, you live Sydney here in Australia, you will get suburbs where different cultures set themselves up and will not attempt to get to know about Australians or its culture. The filipino families I know here when they have parties or any form of get together, play spot the Aussie and you will not find many. What do they do, they critisize Australians for they way we speak and our culture. So we all as bad as one another in critisizing each other.
I climbed back on my high horse again. Sorry
Enjoy your day
Steven 😀
Hi Steven – no problem, thank you for leaving your comment. It's always interesting hearing others' views.
I'll throw the first stone. Philipina women lie a lot. More than Americans, Canadians, Swiss, Argentines, Lithuanians, Poles, even more than Mexicans, who work like dogs, but lie like…nobody else but Philipinas. I've been supervising employees for 33 years. I've fired hundreds of liars and been lied to tens of thousands of times. A woman wants a day off. She lies. Amazingly, they think I will allow it. Employment is about trust. If her baby is sick she says her internet is down. If her internet is down, she says her baby is sick. The automatic response is that a lie will benefit them. So they lie. Constantly. I'm disappointed that the gringos on here would try to pet everyone on the head and tell us in a calm quiet voice that it's all a misunderstanding. It isn't. The men don't lie nearly as much. More self respect, maybe. Maybe men use their fists, the women use their lies. I found this site about Pilipino lies because I'm just flabbergasted about the incredible volume of lies I'm getting lately from college educated(claimed), otherwise competent and intelligent people who speak English very well.
Anyway, thanks for the forum, I feel better already.
Dean
Hi Dean – There are people who lie from every culture in the world. I personally do not believe that as a group, filipinos lie more than anybody else. That's my experience after living here for 9+ years. Your experience would seem to be different from mine. I don't pat anybody on the head as you suggest, I just relate my honest experiences, and understandings of how things work here. Please don't generalize and say that I said something which I did not say. Our experiences can be different, it doesn't mean that either of us are being disingenuous.
Im going to have to agree with what Khaye said above, and coming straight from someone who is filipina, I think we can trust that her information is correct. Living in San Diego having dealt with filipina girls on a regular basis (half the population here is from PI it seems) I agree. The lying is rampant. And its not a miscommunication issue because many of these ladies are not from the philippines, but they were raised by people who are.
Lying is pretty straight forward. Its not a mystery that we would necessarily need to try and figure out by analyzing the language barrier. In my experience filipina girls lie more than any other girl I've ever met. The number of filipina girls with husbands or boyfriends that have hit on me is staggering, and i see them out at clubs all the time hooking up. There seems to be little or no concern for right or wrong. Like someone else mentioned they're also very "honest". More accurately stated, they often times have no filter on what they say. The concept of "tact" is lost on many of them, and things that come out of their mouth can be outrageous. But they just don't get it. Or don't care.
I've found that many of them are very carefree. In fact so carefree that honesty isn't important, and doing wrong isn't a problem. Most of them tend to laugh about it and seem to have very little concern. A conscience doesn't seem present in several of the one's I've met.
All of these things are subjective, and vary person by person but consistently, I can say without a shadow of a doubt, Filipina girls (i dont deal with guys) lie more than any other girl I interact with.
Ive just read some of the comments re filipino lying and Im wondering am i wastin my time with someone i seem to be getting on well with,because if some of the comments are to be believed I am wasting my time.
Hi John l – There will always be some people with negative attitudes. Most of the comments, though, are positive, and say that Filipinos are not liars or bad people. Ignore the negative.
Bob, i beg to disagree to the one poster here, to generalized that filipinos are liar are simply not true ,i am more in your side that miscommunication is the problem here specially when conversing w/ foreigners, just bcoz a person is poor doesn't mean that he needs to lie in order to survived, that's unbelievable!She should have to understand that a person who never have a chance to communicate daily w/ foreigners has a different way of thinking but it doesn't mean he/ she wanted to lie, at least this person was trying to express herself/himself in the way that he/she was comfortable. i think the best thing for foreigners is to repeat the question and change his way of asking in just a simple and short way for her to understand him fully well. there are some filipinos specially those quick-minded who can easily catch up what you're trying to say, jmo.
Hi ! i am a foreigner living here in the philippines for more than 3 years now . first when i came here i was very happy seeing these lovely filipino faces and smiles whenever i would leave my house . i started 2 businesses here which involve millions of pesos . NOW , i am bankrupt , NOT because my business didnt give enough profit , it's BECAUSE ALL of the filipinos whom i thought were my friends RIPPED me off ! Two of those filipinos are the ones who TOOK OVER my business by force .
Now , when i dont have money and could not give them money , they ended up threatning me and try to harass me in many ways .
These people are liars and sadly THEY ARE NOT EVEN GOOD AT THAT !
Trust is the last thing they deserve !
Avi some people are blind to the truth when you try to tell them the truth , all they can seem to do is put you down for what others have done wrong even when fact is right in their face . it’s called denial. believe me brother your not wrong .
Avi – I guess they were good enough to get your money, right? Ha ha… You sound a bit naive, Avi.
Avi,
I'm very sorry you lost all your money. But, I don't think this is about the Philipine people, this is really about you! What happend
to you can happen anywhere in any Country. Perhaps you need to think
about the type of people you associate with. Don't be naive.
Take care and best to you,
Hello!
Did it ever occur to you people that perhaps you are the problem?
Because you're the one who can't understand them.
Most of us Americans are monolingual and the rest of the world
are bilingual they have to process two languages and you just one.
So, there you have it, think about that!…..
my experience is my partner who i trusted and brought to uk after 4 years ended up cheated on me here in london at the same time going to church on a sunday .
warning for all men ….when they move their lips they lie .
you can watch a theif but you cant watch a liar .
be very careful from a man who travelled a 100 + countries and lived in p. is for a year and a half .
kevin i have a friend in london that experienced almost the same thing that happened to you . he is a barrister . while he was at work. his wife was at home doing her thing with another woman who also happened to be her cousin . and his brother was having a affair with his co worker and ended up losing his wife . all the side line women just happen to be filipino. Hmm
Kevin – There are good and bad people in every nationality.
guys beware of this filipino species . . . they can lie looking at you eye to eye . . .
they have no consciounce or any kind of guilt . . . all they want is your money , NOTHING else . . .
Bob our friend is lucky to be one of the few foreigners who actually had a good experience in Philippines .
There are liars in every country , i agree . . . but in Philippines they are just too many
Rolly – “the filipino species” so you are saying they are not human? I feel sorry for you, Rolly. Best thing for you is to never come to the Philippines again, why would you want to. We don’t need you here.
bob,
someone need to attend college or at least improve their language, lol!. filipino species? american species? british species? malaysian species? greek species?
Exactly, dans! Who let the idiots out of the asylum today? 😆
I do not flat out hate anyone…but I too have had more liars from Filipino Women (not the men), wow, I was really looking for some perspective. Language, saving face, sure, I’ve all for cultural studies, but this is California, hun! WE do business better than these two-faced rats.
Buang ka, Taiamo.
First Good Day to Every Body,
Reminder: The Golden Rule
1st Do not generalized the whole race.
2nd IF YOU been betrayed by someone, deal with it.
3rd We have this saying ” Walang Manloloko kung walang mg papaloko.
Sounds to me like you did not read the article, only looked at the headline.
Hi Bob… was going through the conversation and will explain a bit from my experience… I have 2 friends… one is half-breed dutch (male) and a half-breed german (female). We haven’t seen each other for awhile though, the girl is back in Germany working for a house that she bought here in Mindanao where she grew up… anyway, as I noticed in terms of conversation, filipinos mostly tend to beat around the bush just so not to offend someone… comparing my conversation to my half-breed friends, i can be frank and say “NO” or say something that is honest and frank (which oftentimes to Filipinos is rude) without worrying they’ll get offended and they can do the same to me… our conversation are much more direct… however with filipinos, there really is a high tendency to get a very unclear answer even if the language is translated in tagalog/visayan or whatever dialect….
YES = NO
YES = YES
NO = Maybe
Maybe = No
sometimes, you have to be particular on how the question is delivered… if i am talking to a filipino and i need help in a particular area i wouldn’t say “can you help me with…?” because the answer can be a “yes” but deep inside it meant “no” so instead of saying “can you help me” i would rather say it in a way that would be beneficial on their part…. let’s say “hey, i’m going to party tonight (talking to a person who enjoys partying for example) but i need to get this done…if you can only help me a bit, i’d treat us a beer tonight” …. it’s like bargaining somehow…
… also i have to add, though the Philippines is an english speaking country not all can speak and understand slang… it’s never taught in school…and conversations are very literal (to which whenever you misuse the english grammar incorrectly, someone would tell you right away that you’re verb, noun or whatever didn’t compliment each other…). Anyway, I myself can speak good english and faster than an average filipino with the “thwang” or accent but I still get confused with certain terms specially when I have clients who are talking ghetto so basically, when talking to an average filipino, it would be best to use the language the proper way… like say the maid you have as an example… understanding the fact that she didn’t have a higher education and never had the chance to be surrounded with an english speaking environment, instead of saying “don’t we have any chicken left?” it would be easier for her to understand if you rephrase it to “do we still have chicken in the fridge?” that lessens the misunderstanding… if some local filipinos can speak with an accent and can laugh over western humor and use idiomatic sentences/slang that would be due to the choices of films they watch and most of these filipinos are the upper class filipinos who had the chance to have a good education…
“misuse the english grammar incorrectly” <—- hehehe someone should have noticed that 🙂
yes i believe most filipino women are liars . i met one through a dating site had a good relationship by mail and on line . then petitioned for her to come to the states. she was kind at first then i started noticing little lies that i did not take serious . who has not lied ?i eventually married this person . that is when it started getting worse. needless to say after two children ,i am now divorced because of all the lying and totally no respect for me. come to find out also that she is more attracted to women then men and only wanted a man to prove to herself she could be with a man. my children are with me as they chose me over their mom they she the real person she is . and she hates me for that . she is still playing the same game with other men who do not know the real person she is .a true social path.and i have met other filipino women that seem to be pretty much the same way .liars out to get what ever they can and want out of you guys beware true snakes in the grass
Hello lesliegriffie – Firstly, parts of your story don’t ring true to me, so I am not sure if you yourself are just lying or being honest. That said… all I’m going to say is there there are plenty of dishonest American snakes in the grass too, not just Filipinas.
first off bob i do not care if you do not believe me .i have no reason to lie about some of that nature . so that is on you fact is fact there are people that lie all over the world it’s part of human nature . recently i met a Filipino lady through a friend at work . his wife sister after a couple of dates and conversation ,i found out she lied to me about not having any children . when in fact she has a son in the Philippines. i do not know what part of my story did not ring true to you . but i can back it up with facts. but who cares what is your deal any way . and i have it first hand from friends of mine that are filipino ,in my home town and in california . that certain provinces in the philippines has a culture of being dishonest . whether it is caused by poverty or whatever that is a fact. are my friends that are filipino lying to me also BOB
and i do not mean it as a insult to any race, but some things just seem to be more common with certain people . i’m sure we all as humans don’t agree or like certain things about different race other then our own . my personal belief is we are all from one race and thats the human race we all began from adam and eve. so nationality really has not a thing to do with it . it’s culture
The Philippines does not have a culture of lying. I’ve lived here for more than 11 years, and I can say that for certain. How much time have you spent in the Philippines to be able to make the opposite conclusion?
Of course people lie. People of every nationality lie. I do not believe, though, that Filipinos lie any more than Americans or any other nationality do.
Leslie,
I don’t think there are certain place or provinces in the Philippines you can considered a lying community ,that’s ridiculous, this is the first time ive’d ever heard such kind of mentality coming from non- pinoy, did you ever live in the philippines long enough to say such things? Ive’d been living almost half of my life in hk and i can tell you that i ive’d known a lot of chinese people lying right infront of me but never in my entire occupation here in HK did i considered this particular incident to give me an impression or judgement that most HK people are liars. Why can’t you just accept the fact that you just meet the wrong person and it’s nobody’s fault but you.
I totally agree, rebecca!
how would it be my fault if i met someone that was a liar. that in it self is a dumb statement . sounds like a personal attack to me because i do not agree with your opinion . and if can comprehend any thing i said . i never said filipinos lie more then any one race .i only answered in the original do Filipino’s lie . my opinion as you have read is based on experience and others that have told me the same . i also have ben all over the world enough time to say lying is not exclusive to the Philippines . this is a ignorant thing to have a chat about . so i with draw any thing i previous said. and rebecca i never said what nationality i was . so how do you know i’m not by racial filipino. another dumb statement . and why can’t i accept the fact i meet , should be met the wrong person . did i ever express regret or hate to any one .NO in fact meeting her was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me i have two wonderful children that came from our union. they are both gifted in intelligence, love for others respectful godly children and i pray they stay that way . but this is not due to any thing their mom has done for them . so your comments are personal. you made a statement about chinese people lying. why is what i say offensive to you when i say what i say about the people that i have caught lying . and bob you show your true self. you would agree with any one that would agree with you . you don’t have a open mind enough to really have a site like this . if you cannot see what people that do not feel the exact same why as you do doe’s not mean they are not to some degree could be right . just giving opinions like you so don’t be a hypocrite both of you .
It’s nice that you expats are trying to say that it’s just a communication thing, but I think that you are being naive with your good intentions.
I agree with the Filipinas speaking here because lying is really a part of Filipino culture. They lie to each other and they lie to foreigners.
Be careful
You couldn’t be more wrong. You explanation is a good one but only attends to those specific scenarios. Filipinos DO have a CULTURE of lying. Being dishonest to them is a normal way of life, because for the most part they don’t care. They are dishonest whenever they know they can get away with it and see it as a life skill – something that helps their everyday survival. There is no morality there at all, so long as they don’t think they will get found out, they will be dishonest. In a survey here in the Philippines they asked “Do you lie on a daily basis”. 100% answered NO. There you go.
Dan, I have lived in the Philippines for 13 years and have been coming here for nearly 25 years. What you say has not been my experience during those years.
I’ve been married, unfortunately, to one for 19 years and have a Filipino son…………The answer is an absolute YES THEY ARE!
Same here. I just accept that practicing deception to get money is what they do. It’s like a national sport. I don’t even think my wife’s family considers me a human. Don’t expect appreciation. They actually resent that they need your help.
Miscommunication can happen anywhere n everywhere in the world , but the fact is that Filipinos DO lie . . .
if you have a filipino friend (a real one, not the one who’s just interested in free beer), ask him . Even he’ll admit that filipinos lie , n they lie A LOT . . .
I am sorry that you have been exposed to such bad people. My experience is the opposite.
Bob, I think that living in the Philippine makes for good marriage. It’s hard in the states because a Filipina will get a job and work like herself to death and send money home. If you question it, you will met with extreme anger. This family bond is twisted.
99% of everything I do I do for free. How can that be trying to take your money.
You are hoping to meet me? Might as well forget those plans, I would not waste my time with you.
Getting other peoples money is like a sport to Filipinos. They will borrow and promise to pay back but never do. They will make up scenarios and emergencies to get money. It’s like a sport and paying the money back is losing to them. Besides that- they feel that you don’t need the money. If you question their bad stewardship of the money you lent them- they will dislike you. If you marry a Filipina, the family will expect free money- they honestly feel you don’t need you’re money. It’s very odd- like you not a person.
Sad that you have led such a bad life. I guess I have been blessed, because in 27 years of marriage this is not what I have experienced.
They will lie via omission. Borrowing and not paying back money is a sport in the Philippines.