Dear Feyma, I am chatting to a lady from the Philippines. We’ve been chatting not for a long time. She’s been asking money.
Well, I was writing about this same topic before but I will rewrite again. Somehow some people still get suck in with the beautiful picture of the young girl they’re chatting with and get hooked and get into trouble. Really the whole email of this fellow made me upset and sick to my stomach just by knowing how much money he had given to the girl. I will not and never say how much because it’s a private thing but I will just say that it is ridiculously big sum of money. I am really speechless of how the lady manipulated this fellow for him to give such a huge amount of money. As always I answered back pretty strong words for this guy. I told him to read the good advice from all of you. I thank you all guys in advance for your comments for the guy.
Even though the girl’s been receiving the big amount from this guy still she wanted more and more. She keeps telling him that another expenses came up that her parents got ill. Later her other member of the family got sick and in need badly of surgery and medicine. To find out the girl’s parents were okay and no surgery needed for the family member. On top of that the lady he is chatting with used different names and she’s not even in the school she told him that she’s going to. The address that she told him doesn’t exist. Still the asking of money just keeps going on and on and he is still giving. I could never imagined somebody asking such big amount of money and not even meeting in person yet. And for the guy to give in, it just beyond belief. I mean you can’t tell if its not a scam if the other person asked you money and its over your monthly paycheck? My God how stupid could anybody be. Am I just naive here or I am stupid on this kind of thing? It really upset me sometimes that the guy doesn’t think . Are they using the other head or what?
Finally he realized he was being scammed but its too late already he lost so much money. But then again just a sweet little talk from the girl that scammed him, he will give in again. The cycle keeps going. I wonder if these people ever learn though. Some did learn their lessons, some did not. Oh well, its their loss, not ours. It just bugs me to death because people judged us here since we are married to foreigners that we are also doing same thing the other ladies were doing. Majority really are not scumbags but since its a lot now doing bad stuff on the net then the people judge us all in general that we are the same.
I hope and pray to God that this guy has a good job in the country where he came from for him to be giving big amount of money. I hate for him to be giving money to this girl but then he has to work 2- 3 jobs for him to send money to the girl. I’ve heard a lot of stories like this before, and the girl here living like a queen spends the money like there ‘s no tomorrow but the guy sacrifices a lot in his country.
Beware of scumbags right now. It’s holiday season they need lots of money to spend. They will do anything to get money even showing off something on the web cam. Please don’t listen when the manipulators talk to you into giving money again. It’s nice to help others but it’s not a good feeling to be scammed though. BE WISE!
PLEASE BE VERY CAREFUL EVERYBODY! Have a good Holiday Season to All!
Feyma
This topic seems to come up quite frequently, and will probably be around for a long time. Obviously it is a lucrative business for the online scammers, as they seem to have an unlimited source of guys willing to send money to people they have never met.
The big question is why are these guys so willing to send money, and sometimes very large sums of money to someone they barely know.
I have a theory that it is basically “buying love” from the girl. The guy feels that if he doesn’t send money the girl will find someone who will. In an online relationship, what can the guy do to show his love for the girl? He can’t take her on a date, so the only way to show his love is to send money.
Many of the Fil-Am forums warn guys to never send money, but the guys come back with the line, that their girl is somehow different. The girls are getting smarter and more clever in the way they are asking for money, and the guys continue to fall for it.
Are the girls to blame? I would say no. No one can force someone to send money, the guys are adults making the decision to do so. I really do not feel sorry for the guys, as they are the ones to either say yes or no to the request for money. Saying yes, implies that they are comfortable in sending the money, and then must take full personal responsibilities for doing so. If they get scammed, it is because they allowed themselves to get scammed. No sympathy here.
Hi Lloyd – I hear you. I really wish and pray to God that the guys will learn their lessons early on the relationship or from reading here about it.
Thank you so much for your good thoughts and advice. I really appreciate your comment here.
Thanks again and nice to see you!
Take care
You summed it up quite eloquently I thought Feyma, with your comment about it being the “other head” that was thinking! Still, at the end of the day, it’s only redistribution of wealth…the money moves from one part of the world to another, and will buy goods and services just the same as if he had spent it himself.
There’s an old saying: “A fool and his money are easily parted”, and I think it applies quite well in this case.
It’s good though, that it’s highlighted, and maybe another fool can be saved in time!
Jim
Hi Jim – For some of the guys its quite obvious about the other head. They acted very stupid.
Oh well, if that’s the way they wanted to spend and share their money then it’s his choice.
To be honest I was debating about writing regarding the subject because I’ve written about this matter before. But I was thinking that a lot of the guys still needs to learn about it. Somehow a lot of them still didn’t learn their lesson though.
Anyway, good to see you here again Jim
Take care!
For many ” Chat Scammers ” this is like their full time occupation sitting in front of an internet PC at home or in an internet cafe where it is not as easy to be traced.
So many of them seem to use the same lines as well. Nice conversation for a few minutes and then all of a sudden they say ” I have a problem ” Then next line starts the request for money.
Recently there has been a rash of these money hungry chat scammers using the recent floods in Manila as a reason for asking people for money. Now why is it that people in places such as Genral Santos, Davao so far away from Manila need money because they lost everything they had in the flooding in Manila ? Think about it, if you were washed out in a flood would you really be sitting in an internet cafe having chat conversation with people ? I don’t think so.
Once I had someone ask me if I could send them $50 because their teeth were bleeding and they could get it fixed at a dentist for $50. I asked the chatter ” what about the money it is going to cost to replace the keyboard your mouth is dripping blood all over ? ”
I am wondering if there is a book about ” How To Chat Scam On the Internet “. So many of the lines people use, you would think they are all using the same script.
Don’t let those pretty web cam faces fool you, that might not even be a pretty Filipina you are viewing on your screen but rather a Filipino made up to look like a pretty Filipina ! Yes, it’s true, I was even approached by a ” Fake Filipina ” live and in person during one of my visits to The Philippines !
As soon as someone in an internet chat or for that matter any other way on the internet, someone I dont know ( and for that matter even a lot of those I do know ) ask for money I reply ” SORRY NO MONEY ” and see how fast the conversation terminates .
By giving in to these internet beggars and chat scammers you are only making the problem worse. The less money they rake in over the internet this way, maybe they will get the idea that they should look for something else to do.
I have seen these things going on in Internet cafe’s myself during my visits. As a visitor I don’t really feel like opening my mouth and saying anything to these kind of people although I would really like to have told them do they know how bad they are making their country and city look to the rest of the world by doing this ? Probably they don’t care anyway.
Never send money to anyone on the internet that you have not met in person and have some kind of proof that they are who they say they are and that they are for real. Even then, you can still get scammed.
There are plenty of ATM Machines in The Philippines, tell them to go there and get some money if they are in that much of a hurry for it.
Hi Bob New York – Good advice to all our readers here. I hope and pray that our readers here who are single can get some pointers before chatting on the net. Not all they see on the net looks beautiful.
Good to see you here again and thank you so much for the comments and advice that you always impart here. Highly appreciated.
Take care!
Here in LiP alone, one can find plenty of articles and associated comments coming from readers warning against internet chat scammers, yet we keep hearing about scammees who keep parting with their hard-earned cash until they begin to see the light, then they decide to employ Pointman PI rather late to check up on their “Girlie” who lives in Mandaluyong after they have spent wads of cash on her, whom they swear is someone special and not like the rest. Guess what, as Elvis Presley crooned, “Return to sender, address unknown. No such number, no such zone.”
Warnings are all over the place, but fall on deaf ears when one is hopelessly in love by whatever head he is using, it seems. Consistently harping on the same old, tired line about not giving money to someone you met on the internet and hardly knew has proven ineffective, so what’s Dear Feyma to do? She’s the advice giver, and she tries to protect the reputation of Filipinas who married foreigners and other Filipinas who are on the level with their chatmates, but her advices go unheeded in many cases.
Since one scammer can spoil the proverbial barrel, why not take out that one bad apple from the barrel?
I have no idea as to how, but I think it’s a good topic for brainstorming in the Forum section. Through the Forum, some bright fella is going to come up with that perfect antidote to that bad apple one of these days.
Hi John Reyes – Well said. Can’t agree you more. I’m pretty sure somebody will bring this subject up over the forum. Lots of problem like this come up over and over again.
Thanks for your advice to all our readers here. I really appreciate your help for them(the victim/the naive).
Take care and God bless!
“There is a sucker born every minute.”
P.T. Barnum
Hi Don – Yes indeed!
Nice to see you here! Keep reading. Take care!
It is not only on the internet too. Me and my wife think that our neighbor is being scammed by her own family!? They say they need 300 dollars to get some CFO documents, crisis, maybe a fake ransom etc. So would be very easy to scam a kano that one has never met. That is why a met my wife through her family here.
Feyma;
The fisherman baits the hook, and then casts the line. Now it’s up to the fish. Then the fisherman reels in the catch. Is the fisherman’s fault? Or the dumb fish that bit that hook?
Hi Paul Thompson – You got me there Paul. Hmm, I have to think hard on this one. 😉
Take care!
I met my wife online. I spent 2 years chatting 1st. I have met every kind of scammer. My guess is 90% are scamming, 8% just want a ticket out of the country and 2% are for real. Out of that 2% only a tiny fraction are compatible and have not got a totally messed up past. A friend of mine recently ignored all the advice I gave about a girl he met online. Turned out the ‘girl’ he was chatting to was actually a baklah (ladyboy) and the real one had a kid she never told him about. There are usually heaps of warning signs.
1/ been online for months or years.
2/ starts talking hot or gushy in a few minutes.
3/ tolerates your requests for exposure.
4/ atarts telling you sad stories about herself or the family.
Once I had an uncle hit me up for money. I told him and the rest of the family; I am not father Christmas, I am not here to solve everyones problems or anyone’s problems. I will take care of my wife and her mother and our children. That is the end of my responsibility. If you don’t like it; tough luck. No more requests for help.
Guys have to realise that even on a broom pushers wage in the west you are so filthy rich these girls cannot even imagine having that much money. Be extremely carefull. Do not chat to anyone without a camera. Do not chat to anyone who is chatting to others at the same time. Be a testy bastard. If you send her $100 ask her what she did with it. If the answer doesn’t make sense, cut your losses.
Never ever send more than $100 to someone you do not know personally.
It is best to go to the Philippines and spend a few months at least there before you contemplate getting serious. There are plenty of lovely good women there who are the dream wife; do not let yourself get sharked.
WoW Barry,US$100,i would say thats far to much.
Most GENUINE filipina ladies would be over the moon if someone sent them US$50.
I think one big problem is guys thinking in terms of Western earnings instead of PI earnings.
To shine a little perspective on this, US$100 is around 1 months take home pay for a saleslady working 6 days a week,10 hours a day in Gaisano Mall.
regards Chas.
Hi chasdv – Thanks for your comment!
Take care…
Hi Barry Humphries – Good advice. I’m happy that you found your true love on line. I hope that a lot of our readers will learned from what you’ve just said. You know most of us writer here touch this very subject one way or another but somehow some readers just doesn’t get it.
Thanks for sharing. I really appreciate you helping some of our readers here.
Take care!
Just look at it as giving to charity. In the past, I would get upset over this topic when I would read these stories, but now I just shake my head. People need to think before they do things. Yes, I have done the internet chatting in the past, and I have heard all kinds of stories about needing money. As long as men keep sending the money there will always be women asking for it. My gosh, can you blame the poor woman for asking for money? If someone would send me money just for the asking, I also might ask if I was hungry enough.
Men need to take the advice giving about this topic and also read websites( a website was posted in the LIP forum that has many details about scammers caught in the act) that post scammers online just to see a small percentage of women that go this low for money.
One more thing I want to mention. Older gentlemen, if you are retirement age and you are wondering if that 20 year old babe your chatting with has a interest in you, the answer is a big YES, as long as you keep sending the cash.
Hi Jakeb – Wow that’s really a good charity contribution.
Honestly I wasn’t going to say anything about the subject matter anymore as you know this topics keeps popping up here on LIP. But somehow a lot still didn’t learned any lesson. I saw the amount that was shockingly huge. I felt I have to write and tell people so that the word spread out and hoping people will learn their lesson. Hoping anyway.
Thank you so much for your story and advice. Good to see you here.
Take care!
You just can’t fix stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…….i2f
Hi imagine – Just hoping though for miracles! 😉
Hi Feyma – I, for one, hereby volunteer to be the “middleman” in this cashflow operation. He can send me the funds, either by Western Union or to my “Nigerian” address, and I’ll hand deliver them to the girl (less my commission, of course). 😉
Hey, if he’s willing to part with it, I might as well help! 😆
Kamusta ka Paul,
You are hilarious…lol..that gave me a great chuckle , “Nigerian” address.
So you are the one sending me those emails from Nigeria..but you look nothing like the pictures you send…lol.
Take care,
Danny 🙂
Mabuti, Danny – Hey, anything to help out a chatmate. They’ve so many problems, and their lives are so rife with illnesses, hospitalization needs, etc. that they need someone to help with the burdens of moving money. 🙁
The “Nigerian” address is my mail forwarder. Great service. Found him on a web magazine. 😉
Oh yeah, anything to help out Mr. Moneybags, too. 😆
Hi Paul – I will help you on that. Just a small percentage of your profit is good enough for me. 😉 … lol …
Take care Paul.
Hi Feyma,
My husband and i were just talking about the scam involving a foreigner and supposedly “Karylle”. The guy sent the girl $5,000 to prepare her documents and flight ticket and he’s supposed to meet her at the US airport. If he only checked the INS website first before he did his stupid move, he would have found out that “no longer can you get your fiancee to the US unless you have shown them proof that you have met each other in person and that there’s a lot of documents needed (income tax, mails, pictures,) along with the physical check-up and rigid interview in the embassy before the girl can have an approved visa. Your’e right, men sometimes think with their other head, not the one that got brains in it.
Hi cris – I’ve heard of similar story not too long ago.
The STUPIDITY kicks in again. He knows he can’t get any ladies from here without seeing her first in person. It’s impossible for anybody to come to the USA as a tourist if the person doesn’t have any big assets here in the Philippines. Honestly if she has big assets here she’s not asking the guy for money. Right?
I hope people learn a lot from here. We keep on posting about the subject matter more and more.
Thank you so much for sharing your comments and advice. Keep reading here on LIP. Good to see you here.
Take care!
Hi Feyma,
I’ve read 100s of similar stories over the years,many fall into the honey trap,and many more will follow.
Imagine the scenario,
Lonely guy posts his first profile on a dating site.
For the first time in his life,in just a few days,he gets 100’s of beautiful ladies all wanting to know him.
Common sense flies out the window and he feels like a 5yr old in a candy store.
He chooses a lady who gives him the most attention and grooms his ego (your so gwapo).
He thinks he is in love,and thinks its recipricated.
Then the hard luck stories and requests for money come in,the more he gives,the more she asks.
He goes bankcrupt and she moves on to the next victim.
Most of these guys know nothing about the country,culture,etc and never did any research.They base monetary values on their home country and have no idea of how far a small ammount of money goes in PI.
They need to sit down,do some research (its only a google away).
Make a list of the qualities they are looking for in a prospective partner/wife.
Read,re read,and read again the advice and guidelines most of these dating sites offer.
Some may call me a cynic,but in my book,love at first site does not exist,but lust at first site does.
regards Chas.
Hi chasdv – Hey they think they are the Brad Pitt and George Clooney of the Philippines. You know? 😉
They forgot to think that the ladies had different purpose. At the end they really are sorry, they lost their heart and their pocket.
You really had good advice for our readers here. I hope that the people that starting to chat to the ladies in the Philippines or any other part of the world can get some pointers from it.
Thank you for your good advice and comments Chas. Good to see you again. Hope to see you in Davao soon to retire.
Take care!
Hi Jay McDowall – I know there’s also a sucker in the family. It’s up to the foreigner and the Pinay to fall for it though. Just think wisely and always big NO when asked for money from family. Just help when its really, really needed. The family will learned later.
Good luck to your neighbor. Thank you for sharing the story. Good to see you here.
Honestly it doesn’t really matter where you meet the lady. As long as they love each other that’s all that matters. Some just unlucky one.
Take care!
Hello Feyma
Common sense! He doesn’t know her nor has he ever met her I imagine…I hope you put this person in his place because he is just fueling the fire for other girls to do the same thing!! The word spreads fast among girls there (chika chika), so if one guy falls prey so easily then many others will undoubtly fall prey also. On a side note…men should be able to recognize a woman from a bayot! Something my wife overheard once when she was at the cafe from one, “I asked him for $$ and he sent me some”. Lesson be learned guys, no matter how young or old you might be HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE, which doesn’t seem to be common these days,hehe.
Good post Feyma.
Hi Jason – Somehow common sense flew out the window when the guys chatting with the pretty ladies especially with some well endowed one. 😉
Some bayot/bakla looks like a lady. It’s hard to tell unless you can hear the voice. Nowadays with the good surgery the bayot now can trick us all. No offense to them its just the truth.
Thank you for the advice. Thank you too for stopping by here. Keep reading.
Take care!
A lot of the posts here are blaming the guy, calling him a fool or idiot. I dont know his intentions nor his personality, so I’m not one to judge him.
I do feel though, that many of these girls are taking advantage of good human nature, sympathy and compassion for other people. The “[insert family member here] is in the hospital and will die, as I cant afford the medical bill” is a common scam and many people (at least from Europe) are not used to being lied to with things like that. Think about it for a moment … if you had the chance to save another persons life, wouldnt you do it – or would you rather feel guilty for the rest of your life?
Anyone could get scammed at any time by anyone. Applying common sence is always a good idea, but it still wont save you from the most persistant scammers/con-artists.
Hi Adamite – It’s not totally blaming, it’s more on letting them aware here. To be honest if they have time to chat they also have time to checked on lots of sites talking about marrying a girl from the country the girl’s from. Nowadays it’s impossible for somebody not to find anything about chatting. You can even watch on TV featuring the ladies from other parts of the world(3rd world countries) scamming the guys from the West.
I don’t think its just the European doesn’t want to be lied to. For me no matter what part of the world you are from you should not be lied and scammed by the scumbags period.
Nice to see you here. Thank you for your comments.
Take care
Hi Feyma – thanks for the reply =)
I agree that there are many ways to find out about these kind of scams and make yourself more aware of them. Being cautious when dealing with people online is a good idea too. It requires those men to seek this information though and that they actually know that its out there. On top of that, they may not be experts at navigating the web to find it.
Some men are also more vulnerable for one reason or another. They may never have had a serious relationship before, making them believe that this girl is their last and only chance of a love in their life. Its sad that it happens, as it isnt just money that the men part with, but their pride too and the hope of a person that they could share their life with.
As usual I learn as much from the comments as from the articles itself … which was also excellent, Feyma.
One thing thaat seldom gets mentioned is a different aspect … men sending money without even being asked. It’s nice to be a generous person, but many Americans (in my view) seem to have the opinion that all Filipinas are broke, helpless and begging. So they leap right in as soon as they meet someone and start offering to send money.
Not every girl is going to be happy with this … and remember she has pride in herself too, and, she was living her life before you came along and is quite capable of living even if you disappear.
A woman I jnow who is a propfessional (advanced degrees0 and has worked overseas in jobs that pay as much or more as many Americnas make now, is here in the Philippines and looking to chat. She met an Americna fellow working in an Asian country who seemed nice … also aprofessional man. Both were single, compatible, etc., romance was in the air.
Then, without a word, the man started sending here money via Western Union .. she got the first message from him with a MTCN and a comment like, “I want you to call me on the phone and I know ‘you Filipinas’ never have money, so here’s some for you.”
Her response was something like, “What do you think I am, some sort of whore?” I don’t think they are chatting any more 🙁
Assumptions about money … or being anxious to show off your money … can lead to problems. You aren’t a ‘superior being” just becuase you may have more money.
Hi Dave,
I like the story,and good for her.The guy may have been a professional,but he was a chump about his assuption.
regards Chas.
Hi Dave Starr – Good story to learned too from our readers here Dave. That’s really a good story. Spot on.
Thank you so much for the advice. Greatly appreciated.
Take care and God bless!
Well you can’t take it with you but you can send it on ahead! “Will a man rob GOD? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.” Malachi 3:8-12 (KJV BIBLE)Put the money in the offering plate at church and not into the LOTTO as the ten commandments say thou shalt not covet! Covet means to want what other people have including their money!
Hi BOB G – Thank you so much for your comment.
Good to see you again.
Take care!