Living in the Philippines for more than 16 years now, I have come to notice many little intricacies of the Filipino people. Many qualities of Filipinos are very endearing and nice, but a few are also annoying.
One thing that bothers me to no end is if you have questions to ask.
If, for example, I send a text message to most any Filipino and ask them 2 or 3 questions the response is almost always the same. They will answer one question and no more than that! So, I find that if I have 3 questions to ask, it is best to send 3 separate texts, one text with each question. I am really not sure why people will ignore the other questions if they are all asked together. I have thought about this many times, but can never come up with a reason.
Have you noticed the same? Like I say, I have learned to deal with it by just asking questions separately. How about you, is there a way that you deal with this? Or have you even noticed thatit is an issue? I’m curious to know.
My wife did the same thing for many years until I finally asked why… she really didn’t have a good answer. I suspect it’s the translation process… a literal case of lost in translation.
Yes. It is so common and a hard habit to break.
Yes, you are correct. Must ask or text one question at a time. Have no idea why.
That is my experience.
Internet is too slow , might be number one reason I can think of… or sometimes you type your answer, but cell auto correct beat you to it…and your words are all wrong then you have to type it all over again..so thats why you only get one answer with all the question you asked…because if we don’t reply you might think you are being ignored…
I don`t know Bob…I know plenty of British people like that ! lol
I know some Americans like that but not many.
I totally and most of the time they answer only the 1st question.
I believe it’s a matter of grasping and being focused.
By nature they try to impress but run out of focus in doing so.
Cheers!
Hard to understand the questions maybe.
Yes you are absolutely correct if I ask a Filipino 3 or 4 questions I am lucky if they answer 1 of them.
Ha ha
Takes 3 or 4 questions just to a partial answer
Learned a long time ago to never complicate things here, but I still have fun with it. When I go to Jolly be I ask “one burger steak breakfast, with coffee, dine in” Ok sir one burger steak breakfast, and what would you like for your drink?” (Coffee I say) OK and will that be take out or dine in? hehe and it happens every single time. Not sure why processing more than one thing at a time is a mental block. Maybe same reason cashiers will use a calculator on a 50 peso sale when given a 100 peso bill? Maybe just so afraid to make a mistake….
Hi Rick. You are right, keeping it simple is usually best.
They all that way
I not only notice it almost every time I ask more than one question, I have also learned you cant ask an either or question, or the answer could be yes or no or some other response that did not answer which choice was being accepted or responded to. Chatting with most Filipinos is very frustrating because you cant ask more than one thing at a time, and if you forget that rule you will get a fast reminder.
Oh yeah. You are so right about the either/or questions.
I find that to be very true. I chat with my family since it costs so little. I will send a couple questions waiting for a reply to the first one. Big mistake. I just have to keep asking the same question until it is answered.
As a secondary item, I have found with my family it often has to do with their hesitation to ask for money. For example, if I am discussing how much is needed for upcoming bills, school, repair, etc. when I ask for a figure, they hesitate to tell me. I am used to doing business and a price is a price, not something to be embarrassed about. I am convinced that they are afraid of appearing to have their hand out when to me it is just a matter of comparing budget to actual expenses.
Hi LeRoy. I agree with you about the money for bills, and I think that the resin you suggest is spot on.
Bob, I can’t say that I’ve given it any notice!
I think I get answers to my questions from Filipinos no differently than from foreigners or other Americans. It may have been the case occasionally, but if so and if I needed further information I’ve not hesitated to ask.
Do you suppose that it may be one of those little sore points in life we experience in a personal way every so often? Like your spouse failing to put the cap on the toothpaste, or encountering some inconvenience with Filipino time?
Interesting that you have not noticed. It seems that most commenters day the same.
I have noticed that an either/or question gets the response “yes”.
And “until now” is not used to mean a change has taken place; e.g I was happy until now means, to me, that I was happy but am no longer happy but it is used by Filipinos to mean “I was not happy and I still am not happy”. Am I correct on that one?
Right on Steve.
Hi Bob,
I look forward everyday to the LIP articles… I am permanently retired now in the Philippines. My asawa ko is from Davao and for the last 11 months we are in Manila taking are time deciding where, what and when…
Yes as you have said there are so many endearing qualities of filipino’s and your texting one is confusing me too. I use to text 2 or 3 and even 4 questions in one text and would only receive an answer for just one and found myself re-typing the other questions in multiple texts. I really don’t know why either and have gotten conditioned to just fall in line. I started coming to the Philippines 20 years ago when I had a 3 year work contract. It came to an end when Lucia Tan bought PAL and replaced all outside contracts with his newly acquired airline. I returned to the PI just about every year for a visit until this last year to make it my permanent home.
Thank you! Glad you are enjoying the site.
I know too many Americans like that also!!!
Ha ha.
Especially if your a journalist asking an incoming President who is smarter than you.
Ok.
We all know why i think….
I thought that face is familiar. It is who I thought it was. Blake Shelton.
my wife is the same way as your friend she to will send 3 separate text when i ask why she just says i don’t know lol
I ask my wife a few questions once in awhile
I usually regret it because she usually doesn’t make any sense
Or goes the long way around getting to the answer
By then I’m confused
Hey man, thanks for sharing.
I found this to be true also, and learned to handle it the way you do.
Not surprising that you found the same.
I don’t think its a translation problem. Because I ask multiple questions in tagalog and the response is in tagalog only addressing one question as well. I think it’s really just absent mindedness. Maybe because text messaging is supposed to be fast or people are in such a hurry to reply that they only remember to address one question.
Lets give filipinos the benefit of the doubt and say they are so excited to reply that they only address one question at a time.
There is a technological factor as well though. Love nested replies in emails etc don’t we? But most people here use older phones where they read the sms once then have to reply by memory because the create message screen does not display the original message.
I’m not sure what it is, but I agree that it’s not about translation.
This is SO true and can be very frustrating! Even if it’s only one question I also find that the answer is always as simple as possible and always requires a follow up question because people don’t elaborate. The worst is asking for directions! For example if you ask a security guard for directions he will only give you the first step ‘deretcho’ then you’ll need to ask another security who will then tell you the next direction etc like its some sort of treasure hunt!
Interesting observation.
Have to agree with you on this one, Bob, in general, and it does tend to get annoying. Part of it may simply be the level (or “quality”) of education. A degree isn’t always a degree, if you know what I mean. Another reason could just be environment, everyday life.
That being said, I have a few friends that don’t have any issues thinking / focusing (?) on more than one topic / item at a time, and talking with them is refreshing. But, said friends are in the upper chain of society, and generally in a much more dynamic environment than the general population (doctors. lawyers, etc.) Is what it is I guess, but I’m always prepared to repeat myself, send multiple text, to get the answers to a question, or questions.
I always feel like I am playing a game of 21 questions instead of having a chat when I am in a chat with a Filipino. One question at a time and not much information gained with each answer.
I’m not sure, I know the number of people here with excellent education but it’s still the same.
Bob Martin I have a relative who has a Phd from SUNY and my husband and I think she’s a scatter brain. Her Father in-law pointed out that she has no common sense. Tee Hee! Glad I m not on the receiving end of that one.
Interesting Cincy.
The Filipino education frightens the hell out of me. I’m truly shocked how little people know about what I would call basic knowledge.
My children are going to a British run school. The rest is up to them.
I find that the education that my kids get here in the Philippines not much different than what their cousins in the States receive.
My wife was 22 when she left the Philippines to come here to marry me. She had some college to become a teacher. When she arrived she wanted to enroll in college to complete her education, so the college tested her before placement. She did not know Switzerland was not part of the USA and could not do third grade math. I could go on and on, but she took 8 years to catch up and take the classes she should have learned in grade school and high-school, then went on to complete her education and did become a teacher. She is very intelligent but came her very ignorant.
John Grace In the Philippines “how much a person knows” depends a lot on the quality of school that they went to. I have always sent my kids to the most premium schools here, and they got an excellent education. Also, it depends on how much the partent helps to teach the kid too.
Bruce Cinader That is a big accomplishment. Congrats to your wife!
Great topic Bob – I didn’t realize that this was a national trait! I get so frustrated when trying to get information from (for example) Lazada. I’ll ask two or three questions in an email. I number the questions, and clearly ask for an answer to each question. And get, at most, one answer, but often just an apology ‘for the inconvenience’.
On a similar note, I find it very frustrating to ask my wife questions. One example:
‘How much did the bottle of sauce cost?’
‘I got the small bottle, not the big one.’
‘Yes, but how much did it cost?’
‘I bought it at the little shop, not the supermarket.’
‘Yes, but how much did it cost?’
‘I went to the shop near the main road.’
‘Yes, but HOW MUCH DID IT COST?’
‘Why are you grumpy at me?’
Haha, my experience is the same.
My experience: Ask a simple “Yes/No” question, and receive an onslaught of everything that the person being asked that question knows about the topic of the inquiry.
No, I never receive a simple “Yes” or “No.”
😆
Yep, that is so true.
Hi Paul,
“Honey, do you want ice cream?”, asks I.
“That’s OK.” replies Honey.
“Is that yes or no?”, I inquire.
“Do you want ice cream?” Honey asks.
“Yes, do you?” I try again.
“That’s OK.”, replies my love.
I give up and either buy her some or not.
Peace
Jay
Hey, you are so right. That’s okay doesn’t usually answer the question.
I can’t recall having to ask a Filipino multiple questions at once. In fact in my interactions with anyone, no matter where they’re from, it’s usually only one question at a time. The answer to an initial question does often prompt follow on, or clarifying questions.
In face to face conversation, I’m one of those folks who will stop you if you bombard me with multiple questions at once. I’ll probably ask you to repeat the first one, then I’ll give it a thoughtful answer before we move on to the next one. In these face to face interactions, I’ve noticed that folks who ask multiple questions at once tend to be Northerners (from the northern tier of the US), or more recently youngsters accustomed to rapid fire media. I’m from the Southern US, and an old technophobe. So there’s one hint that it could be rooted in the culture.
I don’t think any of us Westerners could actually answer why Filipinos respond as they do. Perhaps a better question might be “Do Filipinos ask each other multiple questions, or only one at a time?”
Take care,
Pete
Hi Pete, that really is true, a lot of clarification is needed in many cases, requiring additional questions for follow-up.
My wife’s been in California for 3 years now
As far as she’s concerned she’s still in Cebu .Ive read a lot on women getting Americanized once here
Not in her case
Once I move back there she’ll be back in her element
Me I’m not so sure
But I adapt well
It’s all in their thinking trying to communicate with them
But it all works out eventually
When you come back here, your wife will probably miss the states. It is very common. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Probably right
Don’t get me wrong she’s a happy little soul
But does spend countless hours on the net listening and reading about the Phillpines
She does have a simpler view of life
I envy that
I have the same problem here in Cebu. It must just be the way it is. Such is life.
Yep, that’s the way it goes.
There is no tradition of Aristotelian logic here. Asking a multiple part question is just asking for trouble. So, as agreed upon above, just ask one part questions, one at a time. The “Asian Yes” and the “Asian No” also reflect a difference in logical processing. If you are experienced living here, you should know that “yes” means “maybe,” “maybe” means “no,” and “no” means “maybe.” A solid “yes” is only common within a close family… and then has to be taken with a grain of salt.
Lots of ambiguity in the language here.
That’s one of the Filipino idiosyncrasies that’s come to light in my life. It’s annoying at first, but easy to adapt to and move on ?? It still frustrated me for a while before I adapted my expectations.
Despite being married for 26 years and living in the Philippines more than 16 years, it is not something that I have adjusted to. I expect it, but do not like it.
I find the same two many questions lucky to get one answer ask one usaly get an answer some times have to word it difrentley to get answer
Yep!
I thought it was just me.
We know a teacher Zenny who gives strange answers. Example: If you ask her the color of her house she’ll say last week I went to Cebu to buy paint.
If I ask my wife a question and she gives me a weird answer I say thanks teacher Zenny. Now can you please answer my question?
Not just you! You have company!
I come from a very large family, and I have worked as a laborer most of my life. So I am use to asking very small and bite-sized questions. Also too, if you are interested in influencing someone you try to use words with few syllables. You are prospecting for minor closes, to feel out the prospects intentions and motivations.
Hi Albert – I am mostly just talking about day to day interactions.
i tend to get a lot of questions from a locals.. where you going? where are you from? how long have you been here? is you wife a filipina? where do you live? what is your business? thats about where it ends generally the same 5.. maybe il just put it on business cards. it does get on my nerves
Hi Cee – Yep, those are common questions asked to all foreigners, I’d say. I also hear them daily. Ha ha, good idea about the business cards!
They are just practising their English
Yeah, I agree, those types of questions are just a way to practice English. 🙂
hehe ya i need to start asking nasaan sa CR so i can practice my quick escape tactics
I am a Filipino… always defensive ( cultural?) ..when asked with too many questions ( suspicious) ” is this guy an investigator?”.. but try asking about gossips… we know a lot ( gullible too) and this is why Duterte’s style works… majority of us hears but have a listening problem thus we fail to understand and follow instructions. To all expats living there…be careful answering lot’s of questions from your pinoy neighbors…specially your business is their “tsismiss” (gossip). If they ask many questions.. tell them to write them all down..refuse an interview. No offense kabayan! Thank you Bob Martin.. good call!
No offense, Nolasco Lolo Na Sarabia. Those are not the types if questions on my mind.
When they ask personal question I just tell them its none od their business especially financial ones
The first time we planned a visit to the Philippines, I was trying to make reservations with a dive resort in Dauin. Seeing as I was in the US and trying to make arrangements, I used email quite a bit. I would send 5 – 6 questions (important ones about costs, packages, airport transportation, etc..) and routinely found they would answer only one or two questions at a time and not even acknowledge the others. I would resend the unanswered questions, and again, they would only answer one or two more. It was so frustrating and I couldn’t understand why it was happening! lol At least now I know it wasn’t personal and won’t take offense to it in the future 🙂
Yes, it really seems to be a cultural thing.
Bob;
I don’t think it’s cultural as I know many countries I’ve been to where the same one question at a time rule is also true. In Boston, if you ask a question, it will be responded to with another question. We have traced it back to our Irish heritage, Sir, what time is it? So you don’t have a watch do you?
What Time will the show start? Which show are you going to?
So, are you saying that culture is not part of it? What about Irish culture influencing those in Boston?
I just learnt something!
Hi Brenton, haven’t heard from you for a long time! Learning is a good thing.
Hope you’re doing well.
I’m a Filipina with an interest in psychology. I believe that this behavior stems from being a “psychologically defensive” society. Filipinos generally answer questions vaguely due to fear of being criticized or reprimanded. Filipinos are non-confrontational so asking too many questions may be perceived as too agressive or an “interrogation”.
Hi Girl,
Makes sense to me.
Peace
Jay
Of the Topic, Bob, I dont know where to start this thread, but you might have the answer…. “I have lived here 8 years, where can a fat yank with big feet buy USA socks and briefs”?
You may find something from time to time, but really it is nearly impossible to find that stuff. I have 3 sons that all wear size 13 shoes, and we have to have that stuff sent here from the USA. Good luck.
I never gave it much thought until reading this article and all of the comments. My multiple question / single answer experiences to me have been most noticable on the internet using instant messaging etc. If I ask more than one question at a time I usually have to repeat the additional question again. I have also noticed delays in response I used to think it was slower internet in PH that caused this. I asked a couple of friends there while I was visiting about how they communicate in English during a instant messaging conversation. My initial thought was verified. My friends told me they read it in English, convert it to local language ( in this case bisaya ) for the thought process, then convert their bisaya answer to English before responding.
For me, that would be a thought overload in itself. If this is a common practice with many Filipinos, I’d have to give them a lot of credit. I get a headache just thinking about it LOL.
Hi Bob – Yep, I find the “not answer all questions” phenomena to be done when texting, messaging on the net, etc. Repeat, repeat, repeat….
Hi Bob, I have noticed that too. Sometimes they (Filipinos) just ignore questions, they can easily just walk away when asked about pretty much anything. For me it was strange at first but I kinda get used to it but fellow expat just couldn’t accept that. I really don’t want to generalize but I experience that from many people in different places in the Philippines. I might be wrong but it seems like a cultural thing.
Interesting, Joe. I have never had anybody just walk away when I asked them a question.
Thanks for stopping by!
Quite often they are in a hurry to answer and thus only hear part of your question. I do the same sometimes.
I haven’t had anybody walk away either. Several times I’ve had people go find someone who could answer my question. Especially if they can’t speak English well they’ll go find someone who can.
Well I am surprised you’re able to get an acceptable answer at all, especially on the first try. I have to ask the same thing 3 or 4 different ways until I get even in the right neighborhood of an answer, and by then I often just give up. Sometimes I will just send the exact same question over and over again, getting different answers, until I ultimately get a “huh?” and give up. For example:
Filipino: “we are going to go to dinner.”
Me: When are you going to dinner?
F: “Later”
Me: What time?
F: After my sister gets here
Me: what time are you going to dinner?
F: Not long
Me: What time will your sister be there?
F: Soon
Maybe you’re onto something, though. I can ask the question I want an answer to, and just pad it with a couple more irrelevant questions I don’t care about the answer to. If that gets my question answered the first time, it’s going to save me some keystrokes and frustration.