Mayang and Clara return from spending the day in town with my new old 1996 Honda. I notice that they were both very upset, and both are trying to tell me what happened at the very same time, or to put it mildly, the same story in stereo.
After settling them down, I asked; “What happened?” When my wife said “Honey, honey (Not the same as Major-major) there is a big hole it the tire, and we don’t know how it happened”. Now the odd part was, I’d just backed the car into the carport, and had felt nothing wrong with it. I went looking to see if I find this big hole which allowed the tire to stay inflated. There was no hole, but there was a thin slash about one inch long (Sorry, I don’t do metric, it’s an American thing.) not very deep at all, but serious enough to cause excitement among the twins. I could not accurately date when it happened to the tire, but the ladies were sure it was that very same dreadfully day. Were they not telling me something?
Then it started; the speculation as to what happened. They both had nothing, no answer to aid in their solving of this great mystery. And the term “Stuff Happens” (not what I wanted to write) has no meaning here. That’s when they both turned to me, expecting the guy whom has been driving since 1964 to provide the answer. But, I was as much in the dark as they were. But; if it’s scenarios they wanted, then who am I to deny it to them. Here is the list I presented right off the top of my head. (I can do things like that!)
- You might have run over some guy with a knife in his hand, and he stabbed the tire as you fled the scene. (Instantly rejected)
- The traffic Warden ran out of chalk, and marked the tire with his blade, as an alternative (Received a mild head scratch)
- The kid at the supermarket was angry because you didn’t return the cart to the front of the store (No response)
- The dog did it. (Angry response)
- You sideswiped the only curb in town that carries a knife.(Confusion)
- You passed to close to a speeding Roman Chariot? (They never saw Ben Hur)
- A retired Papal Guard was demonstrating how he saves a Cardinal with only his Swiss Army Knife. (Major head scratching)
- Some nefarious vandal did it. (The one I liked, and they did also)
Each of my explanations was mulled over and examined, while the whole time, I’m only having fun, yet I’m wise enough to not let them know what I’m doing. I’m not normally a chuckle head, (Yeah right!) But I had consumed a few beers that afternoon while they were gone. Yes, I know that is no excuse, but it is my reason. The final consensus was it was just one of those unexplainable mysteries that forever will remain unanswered, similar to those such as; where Jimmy Hoffa is, or which Congressman voted for that dumb law, and was like a cat trying to bury it now in kitty litter.
The next day I took the car to the Goodyear Tire joint, after prudently checking my spare tire and verifying that all tire changing tools were in good working order. Now the “Kuya Greg”, or the foreman of Goodyear, checked out the tire and told me it was a cosmetic wound only. (All this time and a Plastic Surgeon was all I really needed?). But while the Honda was on the lift I took a good look at all the tires, and decided that a Jeepney driver could get another 200,000 miles out of them but not me. They were done as far as I was concerned. And anyone who has read anything by me in the past will know that with my new car stereo I’ll never hear the rubber slapping the side of the car when it finally blows out.
Now that I’m reassured that I’ll be doomed to drive my new old car for the remainder of my time here, up to and including my last great ride here on Earth. The tires (okay tyres if you speak the Queens English) were now on the schedule, due for replacing next month. As I ordered a new set, and they’ll put them on when they arrive from Mega Manila.
The ladies never found out I was joking around with them, and now both are happy that I got the problem looked at by Kuya Greg (Who is the sage of all things TIRE!). Who is also an honest man, for he could have told the ladies we needed new tires that day, and I wouldn’t have been able to order the set I wanted. Quick question: “Why don’t they make whitewalls anymore?”
Peace and tranquility has been restored in Bataan, my car is getting new shoes soon. Life is again as it should be. I still choose to live and drive here, and will try to do both with safety in mind. ‘ Nuff said, bye for now!