Last week it was tires, this week it was a fender bender.
It happened like this: I’m at the house, the Twins (Mayang and Clara) are in Olongapo with the car paying bills and shopping. They were at Globe paying the monthly cell phone bill. Upon finishing that Mayang was pulling into traffic to turn left. The Jeepney was stopped to let her turn, when an older L-300 Van went to the right of the Jeepney and hit the right hand front fender on the Honda. (No one was hurt!)
If you’ve ever been in a traffic accident or just saw one from the side of the road here in the Philippines, you’ll understand that here, it’s an occasion. And not to be taken lightly, it the street was empty when it happened it will be full within a New York minute. People will parachute in.
All the witnesses were on my wife’s side (Can you imagine that) and were caught up in frenzy (Not the Frenzy they advertise on TV, albeit that would have been a sight to see). That’s just a little back ground, now I’ll try to tell you the story as it was relayed to me by the twins, once more in stereo.
The phone rings, and I answer; “Honey-honey, me and Clara are fine!” Let me explain why I now knew it was a traffic accident! Early in our marriage I told her that if it happens, all I want to know is, “Is everyone alright?” Knowing that, then it’s just a car that can be fixed or replaced. The saga continues, an elderly Kano climbed out of the L-300 and was awash in a sea of agitated Filipinos, and he was shaking and telling Mayang that he was at fault and would pay for any damage. But under no circumstances wanted the police involved. (That really should have been a clue)
Back to me on the phone; “Mahal he offered P 2,000.00 for the damage, and said if it cost more he’d pay the extra. She took the deal, plus his information and the street was cleared and the 200 witnesses disbursed. All were quite happy to see my wife receive the pesos from a Kano. When the car arrived at home, with the Twins later that day, they showed me the damage, P 2,000.00, the smuck overpaid me. I could have caused more damage with my sponge while washing the car.
But there is still a lot more to this cautionary tale, not all Kano’s are as honest as we’d like to believe. The phone number he gave was bogus; the name he gave was phony and he gave the wrong apartment number at the address he said he lived. So I called the Hotel he named. And the nice lady gave me all his correct info. The idiot should have given a phony hotel also, not just the apartment number. She knew who he was from my wife’s description, and was not very fond of him either.
The L-300 Van he was driving was borrowed; I wonder what story the owner was given, if they were told at all? Since I now had his real name, and knew he was (I hate to say it) an American, I called a friend at the “Retired Military Affairs Office” and asked if he knew him. Thankfully he was not a former U.S. Military man, but they knew him very well, as did the local police, and other people he’d done wrong to.
I was angry and was going to Baloy Beach the next day to speak to the guy, when my friend said; “Paul, you got the money, and this puke is not worth your time or energy, his day will come.” So I agreed, it’s just not worth it. But you know if someday, I’m on Baloy Beach having a cocktail, and Mayang points him out to me… Well; that’s another story I might write for “LIP”, I still choose to live here, but unfortunately we just can’t choose everyone else that does.
hmmm…seems to be a dodgy character Paul, wise move to take the money and forget about him i think . Your car is having a bad run mate, hope your not superstitious as they say these things come in threes,lol
Hello David;
I agree with you, as they say in New York, “Fer-get-about-it” I’ll put the car in the shop and have all the 2010 dings and scratches removed. Pop open a cold beer, and wait for the old “Number Three” to happen, as we both know it will. (lol)
Paul T.
Another black eye for americans. It sounds like a crotchety old man who doesn’t care who he steps on. Like i say what comes around goes around. Someday he will piss off the wrong person and someone will road rage on him. The main thing is that the twins were unhurt and everything else is gravy. Take care my friend!
Randy;
No black-eye yet, but someday? (LOL) The way I feel about it today is, it’s, not worth any time or energy to dwell on it. It’s a non item! As you stated, the ladies are fine, and that’s what matters!
I was caught laughing at this paragraph “If you’ve ever been in a traffic accident or just saw one from the side of the road here in the Philippines, you’ll understand that here, it’s an occasion. And not to be taken lightly, it the street was empty when it happened it will be full within a New York minute. People will parachute in.”
Isn’t it the same thing in New York???? I always thought that if there’s a car accident people should go look and see or is it just the “Usisero or Usi” Filipino in me? Of course, I’m kidding. I always love your articles Paul, it always brightens up my day especially after a hard days work pretending that I’m doing a hard days work here at my Saudi office. 🙂
Jonathan;
The accidents in Puerto Rico would be the closes to here, the major difference is in Puerto Rico someone would be selling beer and lechon within 5 minutes. The main reason is the cars can not be moved until the police get to the scene. But like here you could have the car repaired while waiting, so have a party while and pass the day.
Don’t work to hard, can you cook lamb to taste like lechon?
Hi Paul,
So at least we Pinoys are not unique in that case (lol). Yeah, lambs here tastes like lechon when they cook it although without the crunchy skin. I dunno how to cook it though.
Jonathan;
Every beach in Puerto Rico will have a truck with a rotisserie with one or sometimes two pigs spinning their way into becoming Lechon. On the weekends (Or any day) you can hire them to come to a party and cook it for your guests. That will make you very popular,
It’s funny that in Saudi it’s not very popular, but they don;t like beer either! Until they drive over to Bahrain and their daddy can’t see them.
Hi Paul – Now I know where that guy in S.F. got his idea for his “Roli-Roti”. Maybe he’s from Puerto Rico. Think so?
Jun;
I’d not thought about that, I saw my first one in Puerto Rico in the 70’s. Albeit the one in Bob’s artical was a lot cleaner looking. It’s a good idea that would work well here also!
My wife kept her accident in the faimly she hit my moms car in our drive way . She did more damage to our new crv then to my mom’s car and mom was in the house with me so my wife was fine but opps. You might be mad as hell with the lieing jerk but he will get his. The best part of this is your wife and sister in law are ok. Some day maybe you’ll be driving along and see an older man geting his from the police officer he hit.
Eric;
Now that is a wise woman, to share good times and bad times with family? I’ll wager both your mom and your wife just smiled at each other and said; “Eric will fix it all up for us!”
I’ll admit that I did get angry, over the old Kano’s actions, but mostly because the rest of us will be painted with the same brush due to his less than honest ways.
LOL LOL! Pretty fumb guy, fake name, fake info but correct hotel name, ROTFL! hahahhaa!
Cheryll Ann;
One would hope there would be a better class of jerk, this guy strikes me as a real mental midget. But he has to wake up with himself everyday, and that’s punishment enought to make me smile.
Cheryll Ann;
You caught on your post and her it is three days later when I realized you did not misspell “DUMB” with “FUMB” I’m sure I now know what FUMB means. It just took me a little time. (LOL)
Scum. I’d at least make a phone call to his room and let him know you know what he did not want u to know…and that immigration now knows it to…..
Brian;
I’ll take it up a notch to “Pond Scum”! I thought about calling, but took my friends advice. You and I both know, his time will come! It always does. I’ll have a beer and snicker when it happens.
Guys;
I’ve always told my children to chose your friends carfully. Because you are who you hang with and your friends will tell it all. So true with frreign pond scum chose your foreigners wisley because they cast a shadow on who you are.
I useally get rid of pond scum by using clorox bleach. 🙂
Bruce;
Excellent advice, I hope your kids heed your wisdom!
Senior;
I wonder if he is here legaly or has overstayed his welcome (visa)? Paying off people and running for the hills to aviod the authorize is a sure sign he’s hidding from something. He also thinks by flashing a few pesos around he can by his way out of everything. I’d turn the info over to the police for investigation. Kano or not he is smearing egg on all the american faces over there. There right and there’s wrong and those kind of people need to be out of there.
Mike;
You made a good point about his status. He over paid me for the slight damage he caused. The only reason I was calling him was to tell him there would be no further problem over the car. So in fact he out slicked himself, for if I was a vengeful person a simple thing could have become a bigger thing. Anyway, Bob allowed me to vent (LOL) on his website, I’m fine now!
Senior;
Every dog will have his day and so will he. I guess your right let it go. One day when he gets into a bind he’ll end up rolling CRAPS!!!
Mike;
Did you mean to say rolling in craps? But your right, everything will go full circle, it’s just life!
Bruce
Totally agree sounds like he is hiding something. Sounds like the behavior of a common criminal, which we know all about. Take care brother. Did you get the e-mail i sent you.
Randy W’
Yea common crinial They believe it’s not wrong until they get caught. Then it’s everyones else’s fault but theirs.
No I did not get your e-mail pls try again and I’ll send one to.
Paul just let it go. Life is full of incidents and people that get under our skin. If we react to them in negative ways then we are not in a place we should be. He paid for the damage and the rest of his life is not a problem for you. Enjoy yourself as I know you know how. Life is too short and too precious to be seeking revenge or to have anger. Just be glad you are not him. Ron
Ron;
It’s gone, after I spoke with my buddy, I came in to the computer and started writing. My first draft was a little angry, and then I popped a top, and started on it again. Now I started to see some humor in it. My wife was fine, she had the money to repair the car, so in a way I guess I did follow your sage advice!
WAIT A MINUTE THERE!!! I’ve never seen or held the damage payment! That is now P 2,000.00 I’ll never recover, when I’ll ask her she’ll smile and tell me; “OH! I forgot Mahal.” (LOL) That’s good enought for me.
Hi Paul,
P2,000 would just about pay for the paint here,let alone the repair.
Talking of ugly foreigners,i was told a long time ago,when in the PI choose your foreign friends extremely carefully.
I hope you have a clear run for a while now.
regards,
Chas.
Good Morning Chas;
Definition of the ugly foreigner: That is a person who paid a premium price to sit on an airplane and lose a full day out of his life to get here. Spend hard earned money to set himself up to live here. Then discovers he hates the place and all that goes with it. But is just not smart enought to figure out where he went wrong. So you’ll meet him in some watering hole, and he’ll sit and regal you with his opinions about the place. Never will it dawn on him that we already know he’s a loser, because instead of going to a better place, he decided to stay here and tell everybody how bad it is here. Many a nice cold beer I’ve lost over him, as I’ll just up and walk away. He’ll find someone to listen, but it won’t be us!
I enjoy your style of describing your ” LIP ” adventures. I can just imagine how quickly a crowd could develop out of nowhere.
It took quite a few visits to the UK before I ever even thought of driving due to it being opposite of many other parts of the world. I think it would take many many visits to The Philippines before I would consider attempting to drive in a well populated city area.
I am glad no one was injured. You got the the situation explained to you in Stereo ? now, thats real class !
Bob;
I rented a car in London and drove up to Scotland, I had no trouble driving on the left side, but shifting gears with my left had did take some getting used to. I can’t remember the number of the “M-something” but I remembered cruising along late at night when all hell broke loose, I first hit speed bumps (Silent Policemen?) what a noise. Next I’m looking at a circle of grass right in the middle of the motorway. The put a rotary (Round-a-bout) there, instead of a clover leaf. Now who does that? Then the Scot’s would laugh at me as I always tried to get in the car on the left hand side. It was an adventure for both me and them. Driving here is fun!
Paul: Top of the morning ! However very disappointed in your lack of fashionable nail polish, something that would have complemented our matching outfits. This calls for extended time massaging the Holy stone.
Roberto;
I was one of the lucky sailors who never sailed on a ship with Teak decks. Oh! thanks for the little favors. If you for a second you think that my granddaughter has never painted my nails you would be so wrong. But I remembered I had it on, before I went to town! (LOL)
Hi paul my wife was involved in a traffic accident here about 6 months ago with a young filipina on her way to work ,wife didnt see her come out of a side street at speed and the front fender was banged up,now i got the phone call and it was just round the corner so of i walk when i get there this little b…… has been abusing the wife about how stupid she is and her car is only a week old (ours is only 2 years) anyway it stopped when i got there ,asked is all ok yes no injuries ,she has called police they arrive wife receives a warning from the police about care ,then mama turns up with family O.M.G who are you? i am her husband ,then looks at car and starts to bang her hands on her head police stop her explain only bent panels no probs girl trys to leave to get insurance details police almost have to physically stop her from leaving hasnt given statment yet at the end she turns to wife and says in a smug voice ,oh sorry about yelling at you before then jumps in car and pisses of ,wife is shaken by whole ordeal so home we go drop her car in second drive way go pick up daughter ,when we get home oposite to the damge side there are two big dents where someone ahs put there knee into the panel that were not there when we parked it (you must give name and adress and insurance co to other driver ) ,now i am sure had i been driving there would have been no yelling as my ex military voice would have come out wife is still very nervous about driving after this experience car is all fixed now but not happy about all that transpired
chris
Chris;
The ticket to your wife makes no sense, the person entering traffic has the duty to take do care. Since they don’t give a hoot to traffic lights (when you can find one) and all stop signs here are either broken or have been removed to fix a hole in a roof of a house, or the floor of a jeepney.
I’ve seen people enter the main flow of traffic without paying any heed to what is out there. two months ago a guy on a 125 cc motorbike became the new logo on the front of a bus by not stopping and looking first. He’ll never do it again, as he can’t!
If you ever rear ended fall out the door holding your neck and ask the guy if he’s rich? I did that to a trike driver, he tried to tell the cop that I backed into him. The policeman and I both got a chuckle out of that.
I hope you’re wife gets over her fear, if no one is hurt, it’s just a car! (With some spiteful extra damage, that’s low!)
Paul T.
I think i will leave the driving to someone else for the first couple of years of living there until i can get adjusted.
Hi again Randy;
I really think it will take a lot less time to adjust to driving here. But there is really nothing wrong with sitting in the back seat with your lady and a cooler full of beer.
Hey Paul,
So this clown didn’t do you any favors. I mean, he didn’t do enough damage to justify getting rid of the ol’ Honda.
Paul, for a small fee I can render the car useless so you can tell the wife “Honey, we need a new car”…lol
Hudson;
Finally a LIP reader who cares, and is willing to help a body out. Once a year I have all the dings, scratches and dents repaired. Last year it cost P 4,000.00 so this year I’m half way there.
I’ve tried parking close to active volcanoes, no luck so far.
Fortunately no one was injured but i am not certain which is worse here in the Philippines , driving or walking . 🙂
My wife has been struck twice as a pedestrian but not seriously injured either time . Once , while waiting at the curb when brushed by a jeepney and most recently by a sliding motorola while she was on the sidewalk . The way people drive here , or should i say pass here , is definitely not pedestrian friendly . 🙂
Alan;
Walking is learned by close observation of the way chickens move within their back yard. Then at two years old and above, it is put into practise on the Nation’s streets and roads. If anyone finds fault with this statement, find a busy corner of the street, slide back to a wall and watch (Bring a cold beer). Fifty people there and no two will be going in the same direction, even if together. Driving! The same thing applies, and remember sidewalks, are reserved for vendors, never walk there!
He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hoh Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…………………
So that’s how it works, walking amongst/against others is learned by watching chickens.
I never thought of that…………
Hmmm…, makes sense to me!
Good to be back laughing at your articles and inane comments after 4 months at sea; an’ gawd am I goofey after that ordeal!
Got up last night for a trip to the CR, twice and both times, the floor, it was rolling and pitching, but luckily no jerking and twitching or flying uncontrolled from slamming into the face of a swell. I swear there was the loud DIN of the engine room present too.
(BTW, it is not a fishing boat but rather a MSC chartered vessel that carrys containered supplies to our outpost at Ascenscion Island in the South Atlantic.)
Jade
Hey Jade;
I have no idea where I came up with a fishing boat! Those MSC Charters are a good deal, I enjoyed working for MSC on the Navy Support Ships, Fuel, Ammo, and food stores. I never shipped out commercial, as my job didn’t relate.
My wife used to worry after I got home as I couldn’t sleep do to the silence. We’d leave the radio on for noise, I should have recorded 8 hours of the ships engine room, but I’d still miss the vibration. The sailor walk made me look like I just had a few beers, but it cleared up in a day or so.
Welcome home shipmate, I promise to remain inane! (lol)
BTW: It’s true about the chickens, we had none and my girls can walk in a stright line. Unlike their daddy!
Paul,
During my trips to the CR, I was completely stober, but I felt the complete effect of the rolling and pitching, weird! I have a few mini movie clips of the engine room chorus, if you are interested…
Jade
Jade
Welcome back brother!
Shipmate Jade;
I’m well past shipboard noises, but thank you for the offer, I can now sleep without noise, are roosters noise? What I do need is a Magic Fingers bed because I miss the vibration of the ships. The downside is all the quarters I need per year to keep it going. (lol)
Paul,
Glad to hear everyone is ok! There will always be these “bad Apples” that are out there. I hope not to find any when it comes my time to live there, but I am sure there will be one or two. I try to avoid them best I can.
I have been a professional driver for many years. I still hire a driver to get me around when I visit. I guess i will take up the challenge of driving when I get there. For now Tay-Tay does a good job for me!
Steve;
I waited a while before I ventured out on Philippine roads for the first time. Then it occurred to me that I drove for ten years in Puerto Rico, and had once driven across Italy. It dawned on me, that having done that, I could drive anywhere. But I agree with you, wait until you’re comfortable before trying it. But all kidding aside, it is fun!
Senior;
If you drove in Japan, Ney York or Philly your good to go.
Mike;
I’ve done all three, plus Boston, San Francisco and Mexico City. The trouble I had in Japan was paying those $50.00 tolls to use the highway.
wow haha you must be very bored…im glad your a pretty american
Harry;
As for being a pretty American, the truth is, I’m a down right stunning American. (LOL)
BTW: “It’s never boring in the Philippines.”
Paul, glad the twins are alright.
He could have been a Kano who spent time in the middle east. Ever get in an accident there? Too bad there are low-lifes living there, especially fellow countrymen.
I’ll be heading back to your neck of the woods 3-22 September. Save some SM’s for me! (I’ll let Lito drive).
Hi Mike;
My buddy was driving in the UAE, an Arab crossed three lanes of traffic and hit him in the rear? (I was there and still don’t fully understand that manuver.) But he was told by the police, that if he was not there in the UAE then the accident could not have happened, it was my buddies fault. This is a group still living in the 1400’s with their way of thinking.
I’ll start chilling the beer today!
I installed a inexpensive DVR camera in my Nissan Elgrand just for the purpose of accidents. It records as soon as you turn the key on and keeps on until 30 seconds after you turn off the car. Guy backed into me and try to say I hit him and extort money from me so I just told him just take a look at my dash board, Hey buddy that’s a camera and it’s always on. I’ll be happy to show it to the police and put it on youtube. He left directly after that, Elgrand got no damage so I did not really care that much, His car got a nice dent.
It also keeps police from trying to hassle you for cash, I just turn it around as they are talking and point it right at them.
Bilal;
Now that is the right idea, I keep forgetting about all the new high tech gear that’s out there.