Live in the Philippines

Live in the Philippines helps expats with visas, moving and other services regarding the Philippines.

It’s that time of year again

Family / by

Well, August 9 comes around each and every year, I am pretty sure about that.  August 9 is a special day for me every single year too.  This year, though, it has even more meaning.  It’s a milestone even for Feyma and I this year.

Why do we feel that August 9 is special?

Well, it is our Wedding Anniversary, and this year marks our 20th Anniversary!

I know that different Anniversaries are marked with different “themes” or “names” or whatever it should be called.  For example, the 25th Anniversary is the Diamond Anniversary.  I really, though, was unsure what the 20th Anniversary was, so I just went and checked at Wikipedia.  According to them, the 20th Anniversary, in modern times, and for Americans, is considered the “Platinum Anniversary.”  I find that a bit strange, because the 50th Anniversary is the Golden Anniversary, yet Platinum is a more precious metal than Gold, so, hmm….  I guess maybe they figure that if you can make it to 20, making it to 50 is easy!  So, 20 is more precious than 50?  I don’t know, all I know for sure is that I am really happy today, and I would like to wish Feyma a very Happy Anniversary.

Many men who come and marry in the Philippines have been previously married and are on (at least) their second wife.  I am happy that Feyma is my first and only wife.  I don’t think that I’ll be searching for another one either, because I got the best on my first attempt!

The past 20 years of married life have brought a lot of ups, but a lot of downs too.  Thankfully, mostly high times, though.  No marriage can go 20 years without going through the valleys too, though, but those are the times when the true strength of your bond, and the strength of each partner’s character is tested.  I am thankful that both Feyma and I have passed that test of our characters.  I know that in the past 20 years I have done my share of things that would cause lesser of a woman to have left me, but Feyma has stuck with me through thick and thin, of which I am very thankful.

As I said previously, any relationship that has stood the test of time has made it through some lows in addition to the highs.  The thing that is really great is that for most of those lows, we now look back and just laugh, realizing that they were not so bad after all.

As I examine my life today, I realize that almost everything that I value in my life today would not be possible if not for Feyma.  If not for her, I would not have my four wonderful kids, I would almost certainly not be living in the Philippines.  Feyma is not just my wife, she is an extension of me, and I hope I am an extension of her as well.  My life today would be nothing like it is had I not married Feyma 20 years ago today!  I am glad that things worked out the way they did, because I am pretty happy with my life in 2010, and am just looking forward to celebrating many more anniversaries as the years pass by.  If they are as good as this one is, I know that I’ll be a very happy man.

Feyma, I love you dearly, and I always will.  When times are tough, you are there to help me and support me.  When times are good, you are there to celebrate with me.  If not for you, there would be no good times for me.  I love you!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. “You’ve only just begun..to live..white lace and promises..a kiss for luck and you’re on your way” for your 50th anniversary!

    Congratulations Bob & Feyma!

  5. Bob/Feyma,
    Happy 20th Anniversary to you both,with best wishes for the future.
    regards,Chas.

  10. Congratulations to you both on your anniversay and may you have many happy returns.

    Goran

  14. ho BOB

    God bless u on your 20 year off being married mate and on the 22 we will be married 5 years too………

    from peter martin tassie

  16. To Bob and Feyma

    Happy 20th Anniversary!! You guys are such an inspiration to others. Well done!!

  18. Hi Bob,

    Well, congratulations to you both. Twenty years sure is a long time; you have together built a lovely family, and I wish you well today and moving into the future.

    Jim and Vangie

  19. Congratulations, Bob and Feyma,
    We wish many more happy years together.
    We are happy to have you both as our friends.
    John and Daisy Edward
    Jade

  20. Wow! 20 years of happy marriage!
    Congratulations, Bob and Feyma!
    and Best wishes for the coming years, too! 🙂

    • Hi JR – 20 years… not always happy, but usually happy. Every couple, of course, goes through hard times, you just have to deal with it! Thank you for your message.

  22. Hi, Bob:

    How sweet of you to speak of Feyma with so much love and devotion and never let the vicissitudes of life stop you from expressing your love today rather than wait until tomorrow when it may be too late. I am reminded of my email I recently sent my wife who is presently vacationing away from me:

    “Last night as I lay half asleep, I heard the soft humming sound of the washing machine as it went through its cycles. It reminded me of the sound that I took for granted during the early years when our kids were growing up. The sound of the washing machine going through the cycles was a sound one would normally associate with the daily activities of domestic life and of home ; yet, it was a sound of home to which I never paid much attention, likening it only to the inconsequential sound of cars as they sped past our house.

    Just like the sound of the washing machine, I never paid much attention to you then and the many little things you used to do around the house. I paid no mind to the way you lovingly prepared my lunch bag, complete with a toothpick and oreo cookies, and took for granted all the sacrifices and hardships you went through while you raised our kids singlehandedly in the only way you knew how. In hindsight, I didn’t pay much attention to you in those days, because 0f the stress caused by the demands of my job. During those memorable years when we were still young, I was so consumed by work that I have forgotten to hug you and say, “I love you”.

    Now in our golden years, I discover that the one redeeming value of time is hindsight. It waits for no man, and it allows for no regrets. Today, the only thing that I can hope for is for the washing machine to keep running.

    If only I could turn back the clock to the years gone by, I will make sure to pause every once in a while and listen, REALLY LISTEN, to the sound of the washing machine as it goes through its cycles, no matter how demanding my job has become. ”

    Happy platinum anniversary, Bob and Feyma! May your golden anniversary find you both in good health and in love as always!

    • Thank you John. Of course, every couple has good and bad over the years, and no marriage is perfect bliss. But, we have done pretty well, and I certainly do love Feyma with all of my heart.

  27. Happy anniversary Bob and Femya. Wow! 20. I wish both of you an easy road for the next 30.
    They once asked Bob Hope on his 50th how he did it…He said it was easy…he was only home for two weeks 😀

  28. Happy Anniversary Bob & Feyma. Many, many more to come and more power to both!

    Guess I come from an old fashioned family & environment. We always looked at the 20th anniversary as the “China” Anniversary; the 25th as the “Silver”; the 50th as the “Gold”; and the 75th as the “Diamond” Anniversary. At least it made sense in a “value-related” way, with longer lasting marriages being more precious as years go by.

    (I also “enjoy” my Wikipedia seasoned with a few grains of salt 😆 )

  30. happy anniversary ninong bob and ate feyma. 20 years of marriage is truly a blessing. may the good Lord continue to bless your family. btw, i remember the 2nd pic…it was taken during our wedding 🙂 –job, liezl and cache

  34. Hello Bob , I have been reading LIP for three years now, and I have got to know you and Fema over the years, I have shared alot of your articles with my freinds, I hope we can read about your 40th anniversary some day.
    God Bless
    James

  36. Happy anniversary Bob and Feyma!!!

    I think in the US that the 20th anniversary has to be marked so high because so many marriages fail so early and therefore they just give you the Platinum medal first to make you feel like you have accompolished a lot more than you did. Like getting cheat codes to the game of life. HA!

  44. “Happy Anniversary” Bob and Feyma best wishes and many more years to come filled with happiness and good health.

    Neal & Linda

  45. Hi Bob and Feyma,

    20 years! Congratulations and here’s a wish for many, many more happy years together.

    Jon

  48. Happy Anniversary Bob and Feyma. Juramie and I wish you many many more happy ones (years of marriage and anniversaries).

    PS … Are we invited to the 25th year anniversary party?

  49. hi bob
    the perfect anniversary present would be the right house to move in to. have you found it yet?

    • Hi maria – Right now, we suspended our search, because our current lease has several more months before it expires, but we will start looking soon.

  52. Dear Bob,

    Congratulations to you both! Mezalin & I just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary.
    Mezalin really straightened out my life and gave me a wonderful family. I owe everything to her. In addition to everything else, just think what Feyma and life in the Philippines has done for your health and longevity. If not for Feyma, you might not even be with us and if not for Mezalin, I might not be here either. We have both been blessed.

    Dave L.

  53. Congratulations. I wish for you many, many more years of happiness. I am sure most men married to Filipina wives would testify that this is the happiest period of their lives. It sure is for me and its only been seven years. Enjoy.

  58. bob and feyma congratulations to you both on this miles stone in your shared lives , i have been married twice before i met my current wife due to ny employment and various other things they didnt work out i hope that oe day i can to say that i have reached such a the same milestone with my wife ana , we both wish you many more of these days to come .
    chris

  59. hi bob….happy anniversary,,I hope to retire to philippines one day.Can I get by on $150 a week if i buy a house 1st?

    • Thank you bob… wow, another Bob Martin on the site? Ha ha…

      Personally, no, there is no way I could get by on $150 per week. We are all different, though.

  61. Fantastic Bob!! I hope you and Feyma have many many many more years together. There is NOTHING in the world as good as a good woman being at your side and loving and supporting you.

    Well maybe there is….a good man at a womens side doing the same thing!

    Congrats.

  62. Congrats to Bob and his lovely wife Feyma on 20 years of marriage!

    As for the other Bob Martin, you should probably start a different thread as this one is for Bob and Feyma, but I’ll try to answer your question.

    First, foreigners are not allowed to own houses/property in the Phils, with Condo’s being the exception if I remember correctly.

    Second, you could probably get by on $150.00 per week, depending where you live.
    In Manila/QC Metro, very unlikely.
    In some of the Provinces, you probably can but you will have to live an extremely frugal lifestyle.

    I did the math a while ago and a single guy could live a decent life on $770 a month, including $150-$200 a month for rent.

    You will need to set aside money for emergencies, medical, dental, VISA renewals, immunizations, bribes (seriously) and all kinds of other unexpected expenses.

    As Bob and others have said many times, this is not a good place for a foreigner (or anyone) to be broke as there are no government assistance programs, no free health care, no free anything.
    And no, the American Embassy (assuming you’re an American) won’t help you out either.

    “Kano’s” (Americano’s) will usually be expected to pay more for everything as many of the people here think all/most foreigners are rich and some will take advantage of you.

    $150.00 x 4.357 weeks in a month = $653.55 a month.
    It can be done, but you will have very little room for error.
    Hope you don’t get robbed or your pocket picked as that could wreck your budget for many months.
    Then what?

    I have a friend living in a Nipa hut on the Island of Cebu and he and his Filipina g/f live on his modest SS income of about $635.00 a month and he says he is able to save a little money every month and they live a modest lifestyle but they are very happy with each other and with what they have.

    Having a Filipina wife or g/f that knows the country/province/barangay as well as the local customs/dialects/rules/laws is very helpful and will save your butt as well as save you money.

    It can be done on $150.00 a month, but don’t expect much other than the basics and we’re talking about the basics in a 3rd world country, which is far different than the basics in the US

    For most “Kano’s” the Phils is almost like another planet and the culture shock is overwhelming.

    If SS is still solvent when I retire in about 5-7 years, I’ll have about $1500 a month to live on.
    I’ll actually spend about $1,000 per month on living expenses and bank $500 a month for the inevitable unexpected expenses that will be incurred.
    For a single guy, I should be able to do fairly well on $1,000 a month, depending on how much the dollar is worth 5-7 years from now compared to the Piso.

    I’m also looking into ways to supplement my retirement income and am investigating ways to do so online.

    Bob sells an ebook with 49 ideas on how to make money online and/or in the Phils.
    I haven’t read or bought the book yet, but it’s something you might consider as you should look into supplementing your income as you won’t have any “wiggle” room for the unexpected.

    If you’re going to retire in the Phils, you don’t want to struggle, you want to be happy and to enjoy the remainder of your life.

    Good luck, and “Mabuhay!”

    Bob, feel free to add or to correct any of the above as you’ve been there and done that and have done it well.

  63. Hi Bob, it’s great to know that some people or couples like you and feyma still together over the years… try to live here in GenSan for a long time. I, too have married twice an american but still unfortunately end up with divorce.:) how come you people stay together even if we started the same? knowing and getting married with the same person. i wonder how did you still adore and love Feyma even if you are american? hmmmm? Dont get me wrong that I dont like americans, in fact, i married twice americans but still they dont end up with me longer that i hope to be…. I have a daughter and she is with me. live long american but filipinized husbands.! good luck1

    • Hi Sally – I know you did not mean it this way.. but your comment feels a bit insulting to me. Loving somebody has nothing to do with American or Filipino. It is the person, not their nationality. I was married to Feyma for 10 years before moving to the Philippines, so I surely was not “filipinized” at that time. She, in fact, was Americanized after living 10 years in the USA.

      Good luck to you, Sally. Thank you for your nice words, even if it felt a bit different to me.