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On the road home…

Family / by

It seems that Feyma’s mother has embarked on a trip.  She is on the road home.  She actually started this journey several years ago, but over the past few days, it seems that she has nearly reached her destination.  I am not with her and can’t see what she is seeing, but I am sure that a lot of people are waiting for her with open arms.

We got the call from one of Feyma’s sisters on Friday last week.  Mama seemed to be very near death.  The timing for this was not good, but no matter when something like this happens, it can never be “good timing,” can it?  You see, the call came on Friday afternoon, and one of our kids was scheduled to have his birthday party on Saturday.  Kids don’t understand these things, and for a child a birthday party is a big thing, so Feyma made the decision to stay in Davao until Sunday.  Sunday morning, though, she headed back to her birthplace, Patag, Sarangani.  Thankfully, Mama held on during this time, and is still alive, as I write this.  So, they will get to visit with her mom, at least one last time.

Over the last five years or so, there have been a number of times when we thought that Mama would pass soon, but each time she made it through.  This time though, it seems much more serious, and we don’t expect that she will last much longer.  She can no longer talk, hasn’t eaten for several days, or even drank anything, so she is in very bad shape.

I would have liked to have gone myself to see her one last time.  Although Mama and I have never been able to communicate much (she doesn’t speak any English at all), we always had a close relationship.  I know it sounds strange, but that’s just the way it’s been.  However, neither the kids nor I went on his trip.  Unfortunately, that part of the country, Sarangani, has been somewhat critical in the last month or two.  There were some MILF attacks in the area, and army operations in the area are still ongoing.  Because of this, we felt it was best for the whole family to not go.  I really didn’t want Feyma to go either, but how could I say no, it’s her mother after all.  When somebody very close in the family is dying, sometimes you have to  take a chance.

Feyma plans to stay just one day, and then return to Davao.  Of course, she might stay longer, but that depends on her mother’s health.  If things stay as they are now though Feyma will return by tomorrow.  I know she would like to stay longer to be with her mother, but with kids and everything sometimes you can’t always do what you want to do.  In addition, I hate being separated from Feyma, if she is out of town, I’m always on edge.

Mama has suffered many strokes in the last several years, and her health is very bad.  Although you never wish for anybody to die, we do hope that Mama’s suffering will end soon.  We take comfort in the fact that we know that when Mama leaves us, she will join Papa in a place far better than where we are now.  And, she won’t suffer any more.

I’m looking forward to seeing Feyma again, and I hope that having seen Mama she feels okay about the situation, even though I know this is a hard time for her.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hi Bob,

    A very sad situation as you shared this personal event in your life. I, too, share your feelings for Mama as she embarks on the journey home. In my prayers, and like everyone else, Godspeed during these trying times. We all wait for Feyma's safe return back home, too.

    Best to you,
    Henry

  3. Hi Henry – Thank you for your kind thoughts. I just talked to Feyma and she said that Mama is still hanging on, but in really bad shape.

  6. Hi BrSpiritus – Thank you very much. Both Feyma and I have experienced a lot of deaths in our families over the years, but it has been about 15 years since a close family member died, and it brings back a lot of not-so-good memories. It is something that none of us look forward to, that's for certain. When Mama dies, and I'm sure it will happen shortly), Feyma will have lost both of her parents, something which have yet to experience, and something that I am not looking forward to. We have each experienced the death of siblings too.

  7. Bob,

    One can never prepare oneself for this. My heart goes out to Feyma. One comforting thought is Feyma has been given the chance to spend time with Mama during her final hours.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with Feyma and your family during this difficult time.

    Take care.

  8. Hi Tina – Thank you so much, I am sure that Feyma will appreciate your thoughts when she arrives home too. Feyma will be coming home to Davao this afternoon, so she is only spending 24 hours there with Mama. I encouraged her to stay a little longer, but I think that emotionally she can't handle the suffering that she sees there, and is happy to have spent some time with Mama, even just one day. I suspect that she will be headed back down there within days – either to attend to arrangements because of a death, or to visit again.

  17. A wise man once told me, after his father passed away, that there are many reasons to believe in Heaven and in God, but it seems most especially for times like this.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and Feyma at this time.

  18. Bob: sorry you and Feyma are having to go through this. Being a part of life does not make it any easier. I'm sure Feyma will be fine… It's always hard when the one you love is away. Best wishes and our prayers to you, Feyma, and Mama.

  23. Hi Bob
    A sad time for you all. I remember how we felt when my wife`s Papa was dying 5 years ago now. We had just arrived in UK from Davao and my wife had to turn around and fly back to Phills the next day when he suddenly got much worse. Our thoughts are with you and Feyma
    Malcolm and Jenny

  24. Hi Bob- Never a good time is dying but as you have said it may be a blessing that your Mother- in – law does not have to suffer much longer.
    When one has a long and fruitful life it is not so bad when they at last have to go and the memories that they leave behind are most precious.
    God bless Feyma and the family and were thinking of you all here in the UK.
    Kind regards.
    Jim.

  26. We will be praying for your Mother-in-Law. you and Feyma and your family, Bob.

    May God be with you and bring you His peace that passes all understanding.

  27. I lost my own Mother following a lengthy and painful illness earlier this year. Please pass my regards to Feyma.

    Jim, Vangie and the children.

  28. Hi Malcolm – Thank you for your thoughts. Yes, for our kinds of marriages which straddle two countries, these kinds of times are even worse, because of the need to travel such distances.

  35. Hi Everybody – Thank you so much for the kind words and prayers that you guys offered to Bob, me and my family. We really appreciate very much. I left the farm with a heavy heart. Feeling sorry for my mom that she still trying to hang on. Just watching her gasping for breath is really hard to see.

    Anyway, I really thank you guys for your support for Me and Bob. Thanks again for your prayers…

    Thank you and God bless you all!

  36. My condolences also to Feyma and Bob. I don't get to submit my take as often as I wish, but, do try to find time to visit this site daily for invaluable info. I know what you are going through as I have placed my life on hold for over two years now to move and take care of my mom. The doctors at one point gave her six months or less. It's been nearly 15 months now and she is still here.

    All we can do is pray and I will solicit prayers from my prayer warriors as well.

    Ed