I have talked many times about the importance of choosing where to live, and reasons for that. I have talked about whether you should live near your wife’s family or not. I have talked about renting first before buying or building a house. These things are very important! I know that a lot of people will read this and the reaction will be “that’s good advice for people, but in my case I know what I’m doing.” The truth is that sometimes you might be making the wrong move! You should consider this carefully.
I got an e-mail last week from a fellow that has been living in the Philippines longer than I have. He moved here in the late 1990’s and was living in Davao. This fellow is retired from the US Military and has a pension from that. He told me that when he first moved here he also had a wad of money that he had saved up over the years. Well, after living in Davao City for a few years, he and his wife decided to build a house in a small town about 2 hours drive from Davao. He decided to put his entire savings into building a house. He would have a beautiful modern house and could still live on his monthly pension. Life would be good.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out the way that we think, though. After living in this small town for a few years things went bad. Living in the same area where the wife’s family lived turned out to be a strain. The town where he is living has also become a target for bombings in the past few years. All of those foreign goods that he craved for were not available in this small town either. Suddenly, that paradise that he found turned out to be less than he was looking for. He decided that he and the family should have stayed in Davao all along. Time to sell the house and move back to the City. Problems continued to arise, though. The couple put their house up for sale, but there were no takers. Such an expensive house out in the Province – in a small town this far from the City. Not many people in this town could afford such a house, and those who could afford it already had nice houses of their own. They lowered the price on the house several times – down to “fire sale” prices, but still no takers!
In the end, the couple decided that for the good of their marriage, the safety of their kids, and their general well being they had to move to Davao, no question about it. The only way they could get rid of their house was to give it to the wife’s brother! Free. No strings. Now, the gentleman e-mailed me saying that he is looking for a house that they can rent in Davao. Their budget is P5,000 to P8,000 per month. Unfortunately, you can’t find many houses in Davao in that price range these days. Five or 6 years ago there were plenty of houses for this price, but those days are already in the past. The fellow told me that based on his pension, the cost of schooling for the kids, the cost of the food and such, there was just no way that he could go over P8,000 per month for the rent. I think that if he searches really hard he might find a place in that price range, but it won’t be easy. And, what will he do in just a couple of years when the rent will certainly increase?
All of this goes to show my point, which I have made many times in the past. Don’t be too hasty in deciding where you will live. Don’t build a house, or buy one in an area unless you have lived there for a couple of years to make sure that the area is really right for you. Things in the Philippines are not always what they seem on first glance. Take time to make sure how things are! It may make a big difference in your lifestyle in the years ahead.
I wish my friend well, and hope that things work out for him.
Sound advice, Bob.
We'll be "up norte" in a couple of days for a month and a half visit, and will continue to assess the potential of our town as a retirement haven. We haven't made any decisions cast in concrete as things do change (and we have to evaluate those changes), but are keeping our options open as to where among the 7,000+ islands we'll end up. So far, our town is still atop the list (but things change!).
Hi Bob…..just became aware of what my wife had written. she said she wanted to reply to a story on the site so, I said OK. I left the house for a time and she had sent already.
She paraphrased what she had written and, I am mostly in agreement with the content but not neccessarlly the context.
I, as most, would agree that things happen but, my wifes thoughts were that the wife of the gentleman was most probably aware of the dangers and problems with building a very expensive house in a small town (you said 2 hours from Davao City).why would he move his family there in the first place. It should have been apparent to someone that there would not be a greaT abundance of ‘foreign goods’ there. Although I think “stupid” was a little harsh, I believe ‘unwise’ would be more appropriate.
A final thought, just my opinion…….If you leave your country for a totally different country and culture and presume to bring your country with you, you will most certainally open yourself for a multitude of problems.
Hi Bob- Like you I think what has happened to this guy is so unfortuate and for me thats what life is about, there are no certainties in whatever we do. Take the property situation in the USA as of now and only today I have read recession is pending there also. Here in the UK we also have a slow down in the property market with house prices dropping for the first time since the late 80's. Todays situation may last a year or two or even ten but what is certain is, it will eventually change. The best laid plans of mice and men, as the saying goes. I for example after many years of consideration decided to build a house in the countryside albeit only 30 Km's from the nearest city and I'm fortunate that I get on well with my in-laws additionally I don't have any young dependants as we have now passed that stage as the kids have grown up.What I do know like I mentioned earlier is between retiring to our house next year and the day they use me for fertilizer many thing will change for the good and bad but with faith and resolve and good planning I hope we will be able to overcome whatever chalenges we come up against.
The moral of your story is Bob have a contingency plan for whatever eventuality you come up against thats probably the best advice you could give anyone about to settle in the Philippines.
Hi Bob, that's the best advice you could give because it's very true. Being already married and visiting the Philippines almost yearly, my wife and me stayed together with our family. We got lucky to buy a lot in the neighbourhood, not yet having plans to built up a house or to move to the Philippines for good.When it was time to make a decision, we started building up our house while still being in Germany; means to say, everything was almost finished, when we came here. Living already in the Philippines and not earning enough, but start building house – yeah, I saw already many guys giving up. So, plan while you are still in your home country, We did the last make up of our house, when we were already. As I said, the last make. We also tried to avoid an expensive rental while being here already. Regarding "live with the Filipina wife's family: we stay together in one compound, "they" have their own houses, in which they stay while also taking care their own bills (electricity, water). 😆
Hi Paul – That's the great thing about the Philippines…. if you don't like one island there are 7,106 others to choose from! 😆
Hi Jim – You're right. No matter how carefully you plan, it's important to remember that not every aspect of life remains within your own hands! Anything can happen. And… it usually does!
Hi Klaus – Good tips there!
Hi bob,this is the wife of frank i just read the story about the guy who own the house in give it away to the brother of the wife because he can't sell,you said that this guy spent[wad of money],his life his savings.I guest the house worth a million plus,in now i will react about that,I think thats not smart decision for give away the house,coz now only he can afford is 5 to 8 thousand peso?its very cheap,why he built a modern house in the small town in want foreign goods that he crives? He don't know that it would be happen? The wife did not say anything about the places before they built the house?doesn't she know the area.Thats the funny story i heard,, no such person to give away the house worth a lot money is he is stupid?………flor san giorgio
Well I don't think the gentleman is stupid. He wanted to build a nice house and live comfortably but things do happen and it is hard to do something about it. You count your losses and move on and hopefully it will get better.I do feel sorry for the family and I wish them the best of luck.
Hi Flor – No, he is not stupid, he is just in a bind. His primary reason for wanting to move is that he feels that his family is not safe, as his new home town is a favorite for bombers. When it comes to the safety of your family, you can walk away from a house.
Hi Marilou – That's right, things happen, and don't always work out as we expect.
Very very god advice, Bob! Things are not always as they seem at first. I am sure that family had their reasons for moving out of the city into a small town, but spending all the savings on a nice house there was premature. I imagine that there wasn't any suitable (nice enough) rentals available to try the place out… That might have been a clue.
Let me add that finding a place to rent in an area you are interested in might be difficult if you are rigid in your standards and not willing to add any money to make the place livable for you. We have found suitable places to live, but we have made most of them suitable by spending money. Sometimes it is an advance on the rent, other times it is money we were willing to spend to have things the way we wanted them. Worth it to us, but not to the owner. Haggling with the owner over details he doesn't care about is a waste of time and energy. If you want screens, faucets that don't drip, toilets that flush with a handle, or a new paint job, remember that the owner may be living in a house without those things, and doesn't care. We have found that being willing to spend money to make where we live 'livable' has been money well spent, even when renting.
Bob / Francisco
Funny, your story about leaving the house and letting your wife take over control of the keyboard, i think your wife got her point across fine.
Shame about the person in the story and about his situation, could be me down the line 15-20 years, i made up my own mind and bought a house in davao, central park with my wife, we were / are very happy with our place but reading Bob's blog and other advice, i think i may have rented first, and planned to build later like for example Bob has done……anyway i made an adult decision and need to see it through
The contact of Bob's is now in a difficult position and we can only wish him well
Hi AmericanLola – I couldn't agree more! I have rented several houses over the years and made improvements out of my own pocket. The thing for me was that that money out of my pocket improved my quality of life, and that of my family. Yes, it was an expense that didn't pay off by a strictly monetary viewpoint, but from a quality of life standpoint, it's a great investment!
Hi Francisco – I'm glad that Flor left her comment. Everybody is welcome to comment here. One thing that I wanted to stress was that the "foreign goods" thing is not or was not a part of the decision making. Nor does the family want to move back because of foreign goods being available. However, with safety being the concern, once you decide to move, you can always think of many other factors that will make the move a good one for you.
Hi rick b. – Be confident, I'm sure that your situation will work out too!
Hi Bob- This is exactly the type of article that first brought me to your site. I have posted a comment to you regarding my situation in the past, but will recap; The island where my wife is from is in the provinces and does not have the mod cons a westerner would be used to, ie health, shopping, restaurants, services etc. If she was from somewhere like Davao I would probably be ready to make the move but Alicia wants to be close to her family. We already have a modest house in the barongay where her family are, but it seems we are related to everyone in the barongay and they all feel welcome to visit us when we are there, so you can understand the problem with that. On our last trip we purchased a nice brick house on the other side of my wifes island which will be a holiday house for us in the future and far enough away from all the relatives for us to have some privacy and a good base for us to go explore the beauty of the Philippines. One day I might even turn up on your doorstep to say hello, but I must thank you for giving me the information to help me make the decision "Can I live in the Philippines?"
Hi Anthony – Living close to the family can (not always) be one pitfall after another. Feyma and I both found that it was much better for us to live a couple of hours away from the family. I think that the vacation house that you mention is actually a perfect place for you to live! Close enough, yet not too close!
Speaking from an X- real-estate broker’s standpoint. There are 3 things you need to consider when buying a house, 1 Location, 2 Location 3 Location.
The most important thing to consider when building a house (even if uou never plan on reselling), never build the biggest house, or the smallest house in any area, you will never resell it for what it is worth.
The most important that to consider when moving close to the wife’s relatives is. (Don’t do it.) Bob is correct, close, but not to close, is the key.
Hi Bob,
You gave some sage advice here. I started to write one of my "mini books", but instead I posted some complementary info here, should anyone care to read it. http://preview.tinyurl.com/2psrpa
Hi Steven – Thanks for the tips!
Hi Dave Starr – Thanks for stopping by! I'll go have a look at your comments!
Bob, I was browsing the net about the cost of living in the Philippines recently when your site came up. It is quite an entertaining site. I read most of the blogs and I found it very helpful. I just happen to live in the states for almost four years now and my husband wanted to move back to the Philippines (Cebu). He loves the Philippines specially in CEbu. I came from Butuan City,w hich is not far away from where you are. I used to live and work in Cebu and thats how I brought my husband to like the City. We had our first meeting there back in 2002. Yeah, I think Cebu is better, away from families but not too far away.
I just needed some advice on buying a house. I dont know how much would cost us to live in the City nowadays. Im so hesistant to move back since we dont have enough finances to cover everything. It would be awhile to become stable. I know he has to adjust too. He's been there four times and the last time was we stayed for a month and a half. Hopping from different hotels and resorts, it was a luxury for me. Thats why, building a house came to my mind too.
I wonder if it is a good idea to build a house now. Its becoming more expensive. I have plans to retire in the Philippines too. I dont know what to do first. Will you be able to help me with this?
I would appreciate any advice that all you bloggers can come up. Thanks Bob and Feyma for this wonderful web magazine…cool…
Happy New Year to all of You!!!
Hi Carouselle – Thanks for dropping by and leaving your comment! I'm glad that you have found my site useful.
Regarding buying a house, I think that you should do that only when you are really certain that Cebu is where you want to live. Really in my opinion, it's better to come here and live for 1 or 2 years before making a purchase. Rent first, so that you can really be sure what area you want to live in before you make the commitment of spending the money. Also, you and your husband may come back here and find that you don't like living here, sot hat is a consideration.
Of course, YMMV, but this is just my opinion.
Hi Bob, thanks for a reasonable opinion. I was thinking about that too. Rent first, then if we really like living there, then we will decide on purchasing a house. My husband is an impulse decision maker, so I am the one who is more on the conservative side..thinking about pros and cons.. I had earned a degree in Accounting and that's how I keep us afloat. We had a chance to get a rent to own house here in California but we lost it…too much to our excitement, we remodeled kitchen and painted the whole house but it all went to nothing. My husband had a health problem and couldnt work for awhile and my income is not sufficient enough to cover all our monthly bills but I did what I could to keep us on top of the ground and not file for bankruptcy.
Yes, Im glad we are still here and litlle by little we are back on our feet. Husband is getting better and still pursuing on getting a house again but instead here, he is gonna get one in the Philippines. hopefully, we are going to have a discreet decision on that one.
So, one last thing, do you have any idea how much would be the cost of living in Cebu nowadays? I want to make my own budget and compare it. Peso is in good value right now as what Ive noticed. Please, if you could do me a favor and have it search for me, I would really appreciate it. Our budget would be more or less than $1,000.00/month and that would be for everything. I have a 2 year old daughter, it's gonna be for a household of 3 or 4 (if we needed a house helper).
Thank you and more power to you and this website!!!
CArouselle
Hi Carouselle – Keep in mind… if the Peso is high, that means that the dollar is low! In other words, if you are bringing dollars with you, that means that your money is not worth much now. I'm not being critical, I am in the same position! I earn my money in US Dollars, and it makes life a lot tighter now than it was a couple years ago. The US Dollar is worth about 30%+ less than it was just 2 years ago. If you are earning in Pesos, well, you are better off now.
A budget of $1,000 per month for a family of 3 is, in my opinion, quite low. I know that my wife and I could not live on that amount. Yes, there are people who can do it, but I think that for a young family like yours, you are right on the lower limit. When your daughter is ready to start school, well times will be quite tight, I'm afraid.
Keep in mind, a budget is a very personal thing. Different people choose to live in different types of houses and such. Also, keep in mind that the cost of living in Cebu is quite high. For the budget that you have, you'd be wise to choose a place in a provincial area, not in a big city like Cebu. If you look for our review of living in Cebu City, you will see that a friend of mine there reported that he felt the minimum budget there is $2,500 as I recall. And, he is not married, and no kids.
Good luck to you.
Hi Bob …. Phil here …been there done that , first year i was in the pines we rented a small apartment by the bay in bon-bon-cagayan de oro …like everything else the price started to go up so when the landlord said we had to move cause his brother was out of work and needed a place to stay ..we moved into the squatters area and paid 6000 a month rent .2 rooms and a cr … That is when we decited to build a home of our own,we got some land cheap outside of talisa just east of gingoog ctiy ..I didn't bring no extras to make my life easier if my wife said we don't need it we didn't get it ,but we have a tv and electric .I enjoy it too i like cooking outside ..and i wouldn't change it ..
Hi Phil – It sounds like you have a wonderful life in Northern Mindanao! I congratulate you for that!
Guess I've been lucky. We decided years ago that we would retire
to PI and live in the area the wife grew up (she actually bought and owned land there before we even met). As far as the houses, she went
home for 6 months in 1999 and built a house in Legaspi City and then in
2006 she built another on the small island of Rapu-Rapu after that was completed she made a quick trip back to the states and got me and as
they say the rest is history.
Rick
Rick Austin – I personally feel that living so near your wife's family will come back to bit you in the long run. We are all different, though.
Bob,
You may be right. Have not had any problems withthe in laws yet
and keeping my fingers crossed. But after 31 years of marriage I
expect the good relations to keep going.
Rick
Hi Rick Austin – I wish you the best, my friend!
Hi Bob,
I Love the Web site and have pretty much read the entire thing. I am currently working in Iraq as an American Expat and my fiance lives not far from Gingoog City in northern Mindanao. She wants to move to Cagayan De Oro because it is easier for her to find work. I make a good living but own two properties in Florida I can't sell yet due to the housing market and a previous divorce. I really don't want to get into buying a home even though those in Pueblo De Oro look nice.
My fiance is very poor and I just helped her and her family get electricity and a couple fans recently. Obviously she would like to "take care" of her family who put her through college and have been there for her but I need the real intelligence on what I should do. It seems you are 100% on rental (as I am also since it seems cheaper). God forbid, what would happen if I did build or buy and she left me after everybody was comfy in the new home. It seems like I would lose it all right? I trust her but have been "burnt before".
Hi Chris – Thank you for visiting my site, I am happy to know that you enjoyed it and found it useful!
Yes, I think that renting is very important. I am not opposed to purchasing a house, but I believe that it is a good idea to take your time and rent first. I believe that in your situation this is particularly important, so that you can have time to establish ground rules with the family, make sure that understand that you will keep things in control, etc. It is probably a matter that they just don't understand, because the needs of foreigners like us are different than Filipinos, having grown up in different cultures, etc.
It appears that your thinking on this matter is sound, I just encourage you to hold your ground, and keep moving forward! You will see, it will turn out OK.
Good luck!
hi bob,there's alot of us bobs out there. i emailed you a couple of times over the past week,i really want to move to the davao area,i currently live with my wife in oklahoma,but she wants a divorce after 43 yrs of marriage. she's not the woman i married 43yrs ago,but people change. i wrote you about my medications and was worried about being able to get them there. you may or may not remember my email,i am 65 and draw $1700 a month,so i need to locate somewhere like davao,i think i can live there if i can get my meds,i read where you can't get morphine in tablet form,but i don't take morphine,so that's not a concern for me. i was telling you about my being on hydrocodone(lortabs) the generic,i am also on valium,the lortabs are a narcotic as is the morphine,here in the states i get my lortabs from the VA,i read where they have a VA location up by manila,but i'm not eligible. I wouldn't want to live anywhere close to manila,or cebu,just too expensive. i just want to live the rest of my life where i can have the basic things i need. i think you stay very busy with all your websites,i have carpal tunnel in both hands,but i don't think it would be very expensive there to get the surgery there. I can get my passport in about 2-3 wks,but i've got alot of loose ends to take care of here,i'm sure you know what i mean, but i don't want to get over there and be in pain,but i don't want to stay here under the circumstances,i'm a semi retired studio musician,i play lead guitar & bass,but don't want to get back into doing that,if i played in a band over there,i would probably have to live in cebu or manila,and from what i've read they don't pay much. well i appreciate your time and hope to see you soon. bobby
Hi bobby wallace- Based on what you say, I have a feeling you have never been to the Philippines before. I'd highly recommend that you come and check it out here first. If you like it, then think about moving here.