Live in the Philippines

Live in the Philippines helps expats with visas, moving and other services regarding the Philippines.

Through the years, 23 years to be exact!

Expats, Family, Relationships, Returning Filipino / by

This first part is from Feyma.

Wow, 23 years ago on the 9th of August Bob and I said our “I DO’s”.  Another year to create precious memories together. I just can’t believe it that it has been that long ago already since we became husband and wife. We were both in our 20’s then. Him in his late 20’s and me being in my early 20’s.

Can’t believe it that we’ve been together for over 2 decades now. It’s been a good ride for us. We are blessed with our 3 good looking boys, and 2 beautiful daughters (have to brag. LOL).

It’s been a roller coaster ride for us. We totally handled it good with the grace of God the almighty.

Of course we had our moments, just like the typical and normal couple. Our marriage is far from perfect, especially with the two different cultures together. Bob would say something and I take it differently. Sometimes we argue and fight, thank God not physically. Raising voices yes we do that, who would not. Being married for 23 years and together almost everyday (24/7 for a lot of years, since Bob has been working at home for more than 20 years) what can you expect? LOL. I’m so glad Bob put up with some of my shenanigans. I think he’s the only guy that can put up with it. Ha ha ha… Really he’s an amazing husband and a father to our kids. He is really good to our girls too. He’s also good to my family especially when my parents were alive. He was so thoughtful to them. That’s why I love him more for that. I know he will do anything for me. I do the same for him.

Bob works hard to support me, our kids and some members of my family. He never complained that. We’ve been burned out on helping other members of the family especially nieces that have been so ungrateful. One thing that’s so different on the 2 cultures. Filipino way, after what happened to some of my family members so disrespectful and not appreciating what we’ve done for them. I told Bob I had it, we are not sending anybody to school anymore. Western way: they would still support the other family members because not all members of the family are the same.  In short not judgmental. I really applauded him for that. He totally open my eyes. I think I was just blindsided by my anger and embarrassment. I got over it and moved on.

To Bob: I love you so much honey. You and the kids really are my life. Thank you so much for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for helping me adjusting and teaching me living the life in the States. Thank you for pampering me. You really taught me a lot in life. Love you more for that. Happy 23rd Anniversary Babe. Another year to strengthen our marriage that last a lifetime!!!

A few photos from our years together

Now, this part is from Bob.

Thank you, hon, for your kind words!  You know that I love you very much!  Unlike most couples, this is the first (and only) marriage for each of us, and we will keep it that way, I know that!

We have had a lot of good times together, and a few bad too, of course.  I have so many great memories of my times over the past 23 years!  I know you do too.  When we first got married, and you migrated to the States, I was able to help teach you and help you learn the ropes of how things worked there.  After a few years of that, we both learned from each other (well, I guess we did that all along too, though).  Then, in 2000, we moved to the Philippines and it was your turn to start teaching me how things work here.  I love you for that.

Something that a lot of our readers may not know is about cooking.  When we got married and you moved to the States, I quickly learned that you didn’t know how to cook!  It was not a problem for me, though, because I enjoyed cooking, and I welcomed the opportunity to make meals for you.  I hope you liked the things that I cooked.  I quickly bought some Filipino cookbooks and I started cooking Filipino food for you.  It wasn’t always perfect, but a lot of times it turned out great.  I took great pride in the fact that I always made sure that you had some kind of food from “back home” to keep you feeling comfortable in the States.  You never did learn to cook very much in the States.  However, when we moved to the Philippines, you decided it was your turn to take care of me when it came to the cooking department.  You not only started cooking most of the meals, you also learned how to cook American food, and you always made sure that I had the kinds of foods that made me happy!  I love you a lot for that!

Marrying you was the best thing I ever did, and the thing that made me happiest in life.  A close second was when we grew a family.  We had 3 boys in the States, and they are all good kids, and I know that both of us are very proud of our boys.  Still, as much as I love our boys, and you too, we always wanted to have a girl as well.  Moving here gave us the opportunity to make that addition to our family by taking in two of our nieces and making them our daughters.  It has really made my family life complete, and I love the girls just as much as I do our boys.

Happy Anniversary, honey, I love you from the bottom of my heart!  Thanks for writing this surprise post, and I think you will also be surprised when you see that I added the second half to it!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Happy Anniversary Bob and Feyma! You each speak of learning different things about each others culture from one another but You may not realize How much you have past on to others through your sites. I have been reading your articles and posts an many of your sites for over 3 years now and even early on when I first discovered your sites, I emailed Feyma about real estate here. The two of you have built an Expat community by using other expats living here in the RP as writers, Each bring additional information and perspective to your readers. Truly you were meant for each other and complement each other Congrats to you on a successful marriage and partnership!

  2. CONGRADULATIONS!!
    Mr. & Mrs. Martin

    Hope the next 23 years will be as good as the last 23 have been for ya.

  3. Congratulations guys. We just had ours too but only 9 years. Looking forward to a move to Davao next year and maybe get to say G’Day over a coffee.

  5. Hi Feyma/Bob – Congratulations for year 23! I couldn’t help but think if the fights you mentioned which we all have did get physical, Bob would have an unfair height and reach advantage. He he. Only 2 years until the big 25. Well done.

  6. Hi Honey – Definitely I was shocked seeing your article down from my article. I love what you wrote… Thank you for the lovely message too. It really meant a lot to me. I love you so much Babe.

    We will enjoy more years together…. With grandkids someday. LOL

  8. Happy anniversay Bob and Feyma. Two more years, you’re going silver. May your partnership for life be blessed and joyous at all times…

    As the song goes….”Through the years, when everything went wrong
    Together we were strong, I know that I belong
    Right here with you … Through the years”

    El Moro

  9. “To Bob: I love you so much honey. You and the kids really are my life. Thank you so much for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for helping me adjusting and teaching me living the life in the States. Thank you for pampering me. You really taught me a lot in life. Love you more for that. Happy 23rd Anniversary Babe. Another year to strengthen our marriage that last a lifetime!!!” – Feyma

    “Happy Anniversary, honey, I love you from the bottom of my heart! ” – Bob

    Awwww, that’s so sweet. Congratulations!

  10. Happy Anniversary to you 2. It is so nice to read all your articles and follow your life here in Philippines + all the other writers not to forget. Marraige is a ride in a rollercoaster, it is thrilling, some times, some loud sounds, some times laughs, but that’s a part of it. As time goes by and we learn more about why we react and say things like we do, the more harmonious it become. Understanding, patience, trust and respect is keywords to success. A little funny: Here we have our 10 years anniversary same day as you guys. Have a great day and celebrate it good 🙂

  12. I was married 1st time 30+ years with 10 kids and now 10 years here…Takes alot of work compatability and LOVE to make it that far…Glad to see you are one of that group…Congrat’s

    • Hi Lenny – Wow 30 years, plus 10 kids, Amazing. You are living in the Philippines for 10 years already? Wow… good for you.

      *** Takes alot of work compatability and LOVE to make it that far ***— Exactly. I can’t argue you on that.

      Thank you for stopping by!

  13. 23 years ago I was lounging around at Paradise Island Beach Resort, on Samal Island. But you do have a few weeks on us. Our anniversary is August 28. We will also be celebrating 23 years together:-)

  14. I would first like to say congratulations. I think the secret to making a marriage work is don’t give up, find a way to make it work. Sometimes its not easy as I’m finding out.
    Wow bob! You learned to cook filipino food? You got me beat. I know how to make rice. I had to go out and buy a rice cooker the same day I brought my bride home. I know how to cook frozen lumpia too…lol

    • Hi hudson – Thank you so much. Bob really knows how to cook Pinoy dishes and made a good sauce for our lumpia too. He made rellenong manok (debone and just like the way the expert Filipino chef would do) before in the States. It was really good.

  16. Congratulations Feyma & Bob. It takes courage and strength to make a long-time marriage work. Best wishes to both of you.

  17. Happy Anniversary Bob and Feyma,
    Twenty three years, five children and two countries is a tribute to both of you. It’s wonderful that you have such a bond in your marriage.
    My wife and I just celebrated 20 years since our wedding in the Philippines, also our first and only marriage.

    • That’s great, Robert! Congratulations to you also on your accomplishment. These days, staying married to your first wife is an accomplishment that few are able to do. Congratulations to us both!

      • Hi Robert J. – Thank you so much for taking the time to greet us. I really appreciate your message. Congrats to you and your wife too!

        Take care!

  18. Happy Anniversary Feyma and Bob.

    We all have arguments, but it is making sure that they do not spoil the partnership. Sharing life and laughing together helps a marriage along. I’ve survived 43 years next month so I think we have managed to make our marriage work.
    An old Gentleman told me that one off the secrets of a long happy marriage is to never let the sun set on an argument. In other words make up before you go to bed.

    God Bless

    • Hi Marjorie – Thank you so much for the warm greetings and the nice message. I congratulate you and your hubby for being married for so long. I really admire people like you for sticking with each other through thick and thin. I salute you my friend. 7 more years and you will have your Golden Year Anniversary. Cheers and God bless!

  19. Happy Anniversary Bob and Feyma,

    We celebrated our tenth last December 7. The cooking thing is interesting because my wife has always cooked our meals, but she never cooked back in the Philippines. The first time we went back her family was shocked to hear me bragging about how good a cook she was. Cooking for me was always limited to Heating up frozen pizzas and microwaving tv dinners.

    Were you guys married in the Philippines or the US? We actually tried to get married in the Philippines when we met, but did not have the necessary documents or the time. Turns out that would have been a big mistake if we had been able to get married there because at least at that time 11 years ago it was easier to bring a fiance to the US than a wife. Also my family had not met my soon to be wife and I think they would have felt bad about me marrying someone they had never met. I would have married my wife there if I could of but in hindsight it is better that I didn’t.

    Anyway thanks for sharing! You guys seem to be a very sweet couple.

  20. Happy wedding anniversary to you Bob and Feyma…you both truly love each other. your messages indeed coming from your hearts, amazing how love put you together…and yes,couple fights are normal and a sign that both are working together to keep the relationship even more secure and strong…BTW, my husband Anthony and me are celebrating our wedding anniversary today hehehe!!! Tomorrow, enjoy and have fun!!!

  21. Bob/Mrs Feyma,
    Anne and Myself are so happy for you guys. Through thick and thin you have stuck together and have done a wonderful job raising your kids. A good marriage involves alot of give and take, but not too much take lol. My first marriage lasted 24 years. Anne now is the love of my life and the best thing that happened to me. Hoping we have a long and prosperous marriage like you two.

  22. Bob and Feyma, Congrats to you both. Hard to believe that much time has passed by.

    Mike & Reina

  24. Congratulations, Bob and Feyma!! Whenever I am in your presence I always can sense and feel the love you have for one another. My love to the kids..

    Jon B

      • Bob,

        We were in Davao 3 weeks ago but we were so busy. I meant to call you or surprise you by just showing up but we just did not have the time. It was all business, time with Mom and a 4-day trip to Palawan. Anyway, we might be there again for Christmas and that trip home should be more R&R that anything else. If we don’t make it there for Christmas we are surely going to be there in May/June for a very important wedding. I promise to meet up with you then!

        Congratulations again, Bob and Fey!

        JonB

  25. I am glad to hear your relationship is strong and I hope you both enjoy each other for many more years. My wife Maritess and I just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary in July. We have a second home in Dasmarinas Cavite and after retirement from employment in USA hope to return and visit Philippines more often with longer stays other than 2 or 3 weeks a year.

  27. happy 23 years mate and may god bless u with alot more to come and for us it is 8 years +1 this year bob and still going good ok peter martin tassie

  28. Happy Anniversary Feyma & Bob. Very good double artical–you guys are living proof that fairy tails can be real.