We all have personal favorites when it comes to actors and actresses, and for various reasons. We also have such “artists” that we don’t care for. Personally, on my “don’t care for” list is Alec Baldwin. His acting may be OK, but I find that I simply cannot stomach his political bend. Also, he has had some bad publicity in terms of his dealing with his daughter a year or two ago while he was going through a divorce with the girl’s mother.
On May 12, 2009, Alec appeared on the David Letterman show, “Late Night.” During the show, Letterman and Baldwin got into a discussion of Baldwin’s marital problems in the past. Alec Baldwin made a statement. Baldwin told Letterman that he would love to get married again, and hoped to still have more children as well. As the discussion progressed, Baldwin joked with Letterman saying that he was “thinking about getting a Filipino mail-order bride… or a Russian one.”
A lot of people talk about “mail order brides.” Frankly, honestly, there is no such thing as a “mail order bride”. This is really not a subject I want to get into, because I try to avoid this on this site, but I will mention it briefly before moving on to another aspect of this event. Think about it. “Mail order” – it implies that you can pick up your phone, or send off a letter with your order, enclose a check or pay by credit card and a few weeks later the UPS man will show up at your house with your new bride. Come on, brother… no such thing exists! There are introduction services where men and ladies can meet each other. Why is it if a Filipina and an American man meet each other through such a service, it is called “mail order?” If a man from Kansas meets a lady from Florida, people say they met online. She is not said to be a “mail order bride.” But, if the same thing happens between a man from Oregon and a lady from Cebu, it’s all controversial and she is an object that he has purchased? That is just crazy! No such thing can happen, and there is no such service where you pull out your credit card to pay for your order. An American man meeting a lady from somwhere else in the USA is no different from an American meeting a Filipino.
Now, after Alec Baldwin said this, I heard nothing about it. I didn’t see the show, and the statement, to my knowledge never got into the media here in the Philippines. Until today. Maybe it was yesterday and I did not read about it until today. This morning, though, I read a newspaper article about the statement.
Apparently, Senator Bong Revilla, a former Action Star in Philippine Movies, picked up on the statement, and it angered him. He has come just a step short of threatening Baldwin with violence over the statement, saying that it is uncalled for and insensitive toward Filipinos. Revilla said that if Baldwin should ever come to the Philippines, he will see “mayhem,” inferring that there may be violence against the actor.
Now, like Revilla, I don’t like the use of the term “mail order bride.” Since no such thing exists, why even use the term. Also, why is it termed that only when two people from different countries meet, and in a way that has actually become very conventional.
If I were Revilla and I wanted to “slap” Alec Baldwin for being insensitive to Filipinos, I think a much better argument would be what I have said. Revilla could say “My, I didn’t realize how uninformed Baldwin is, doesn’t he realize that no such thing exists? People all over the world meet through introduction agencies or on the Internet these days, what is so unconventional about that?” Such a statement would then make Baldwin look stupid, or at least ignorant. But, threatening him with violence only garners more support for Baldwin, even if only out of sympathy for him.
I am tempted to say that this whole thing is a “non-issue,” but as I think about it, I do feel there is an issue here. Problem is that neither Baldwin nor Revilla understand what the real issue is.
Hi Bob – I thought that term "mail order bride" was no longer mentioned. Guess I was wrong, eh? My friends once used that term when referring to my girlfriend, but that was years ago. Since then, I never heard the term until your article. Perhaps they sensed my anger whenever they uttered that term. I've come to ignore those who subscribe to that ideology. Their being misinformed can be cleared up by showing the error of their ways.
Hi Henry – Unfortunately, that term is still widely used these days. I don't know why, but it is. Like you, I don't like it and it angers me, because it is so inaccurate.
Hey Bob, I really don't like the ignorance that people display in public but it happens all the time,wether its for a laugh or not there is or seems to be somebody that takes it personally. The fact of the matter is that people with all there diversity in live make it that way through the experiences in life. I dont think it can ever be expected that we will come to a point where somehow we offend each other. Chill brother he he he! Thanks
After reading your column about Filipino ways of expressing english things this to appears to be a similar thing in reverse. The term "mail order brides" is quite similar to a something that is quite close but just a different method. You may disagree but today internet dating with Filipinas is akin to Mail order brides. Meaning using letters to meet someone. I could easily marry more girls that I can count without ever meeting them using the internet or letters.
I have met dozens of men who marry after spending just days with a filipina they have corresponded with.
I don't think there is anything degrading or derrogatory about using this term. In fact, I would even bet more Filipinas than you can imagine would jump at the chance to be packed up in a box if it meant going to America as a Mail Order Bride you originally speak of.
It may piss you off but it is a reality here and in many other countries
Hi JOHN – Yeah, there is indeed a lot of ignorance out there. Belittling a person's wife or an entire race of people, though, is not very good, even if (especially if?) it's for a laugh.
I'm chilled, maybe you are mis-interpreting me. Just commenting on events.
Michael – Meeting somebody on the Internet and marrying them is not "mail order." You don't send off your payment and expect a delivery. Yes, there are lots of Filipinas you can meet on the net and end up marrying. There are also lots of American woman that you might marry after meeting on the net. Are they also "mail order" based on your definition?
BTW, a number of things you say are factually incorrect. Firstly, you cannot marry somebody without meeting them. In order to marry in the Philippines, you must come here, appear in person and wait 10 days for a marriage license to be issued. If you want to do a fiancee visa, you must come here and meet the girl first, or the US Government will not issue the visa.
Yes you are absolutely correct in a literal sense. But I think the premise of the term is quite correct and the pracice continues in a slightly modified way due to government interference. I am new here to this blog and to the Philippines but I have seen it in practice already which is why I chose to contribute here today. Take away all the requirements of visas and red tape and women from many poor countries of the world would jump at the chance to be a "Mail Order Bride" if only to get out of their countries. And yes in a box as well. You would have to admit that many Filipinas don't marry for love but for money and security.
Hi Michael – I am happy that you decided to participate in the discussion today. That said… I don't "have to" admit to or agree with anything except for what I believe to be the truth. When you say "many Filipinas don't marry for love…" – what is "many"? 5? 80%? 3,000 per year? The statement is vague, and is also outside my personal experience. I have been married to a Filipina for nearly 19 years now. Do a number of Filipinas marry into a situation that brings them a sense of security? You bet! What about American women, British, or any other nationality? Some women in the USA want to know what kind of car you drive and what kind of credit cards you have before deciding if they are interested in you. Is there love involved there? Maybe there is, maybe there is not, it depends on the specific people involved.
Just because somebody (Filipina or not) looks for a sense of security in the man she will marry, it does not mean that there is no love involved. Throughout the history of mankind, women have chosen to marry people who could provide well for the family. There is nothing wrong with that, and it does not mean that it is not based on love.
Michael, I don't know how much experience you have with Filipina women, but based on your comments so far, it sounds limited. Nothing wrong with that at all. However, I have a lot of such experience, and I know what I am talking about.
Hi Bob,
I've always considered the term "mail order bride" disrespectful and a rather stupid term,probably dreamed up by some marketing guy.
Many years ago before the internet we had "Pen Pals" called so,for obvious reasons.Net Pals would be a good name for todays society.
regards Chas.
Bob: the term irritates me too, because we are talking about people and not slaves or objects.I don't see race or nationality when I look at my wife, and sometimes, probably naively, I am surprised that others see us differently.
That being said, baldwin attempted a poor joke, and Revilla took the opportunity for political posturing. Was it offensive? Certainly. Was it worth the uproar? The old saying about no such thing as bad publicity applies. The commotion just draws further attention to this idiot and his stupid remark.
Hi chasdv – I agree that it is a disrespectful term. Actually, it is my understanding that there was a day when there were real "mail order" brides. I have read that back in the 18th and 19 centuries, in the areas of the USA that were rather isolated, men and women would actually get together through such an arrangement. But, those days are long gone.
Michael I encounter ignorant people like you quite often who once they find out my wife is from the Philippines assume that she was a "mail order bride". It is insulting to her and to me but even worse than that it is a purely racist comment. It implies she is inferior and just a commodity that can be purchased.
You say "many Filipinas don’t marry for love but for money and security" and would "travel in a box" to get a western husband". Get real pal, a lot of western women marry for just that reason. The first thing they want to know is what do you do, what sort of car and house do you have etc etc … try dating a lot of western women if you are unemployed or don't have a car.
The fact is most intelligent women who want to have a family factor in security when choosing a mate.
As far as internet dating is concerned there are a lot more sites carrying ads from western women, grannies, gays etc than filipinas. Are you calling all these people mail order dates or mail order brides?
I would love to see Bong play some chin music on one of these racist clowns.
Hi Bob, sad to say that there are still some out there who have this misconception. As what I have written end of last year, I have experienced this negativity myself and it is not a fun feeling. Literally, "mail order" are the wrong words, but it does happen that you can "buy" wives, i.e. dowries, sometimes referred to as "bride price". But hopefully, this is now OLD tradition. 🙂
Hi John – Yeah, it was a bad joke, no doubt. Poor attempt at a joke, and it wouldn't have been funny anyway! 😆
John,
These types of racist slurs are perpetuated by people turning the other cheek. The perpetrators should be berated and shown it is not acceptable.
Hi Michael from Oz – You are totally right, while you may find a person or two who would "travel in a box" there would be very few such people, and only those who are living in very abject conditions. 99+% of people in the Philippines would never do such a thing. You are so right, Michael, that there are tons of personal sites that carry ads from all kinds of people, and Filipinas are only a small minority of such people.
Hi Ellen – Haven't heard from you in some time! You must be busy! I hope you are doing well.
Even in cultures that have a dowry system, I would not consider that to be "buying" the wife, I would consider it more that the man is showing his ability to support the wife in the future. But, you are so right, no such system or tradition exists in the Philippines.
Take care, Ellen.
Hi Ellen,
I'm afraid the "dowry" to purchase a wife still exists to some extent in Thailand,India,Pakistan and Bangladesh and probably some other countries like Africa.
regards Chas.
Bob,
In some instances any type of publicity is good. In this case I can't agree. When someone like Alec delivers the half joke and the host chuckles and the statement is not challenged it perpetuates an urban myth that filipinas are mail order brides and even worse somehow inferior. Most people who make the remark don't have any personal experience of a filipina mail order bride scenario, they base the remark on what they have heard or seen written somewhere. The more high profile the person passing the comment the more it becomes accepted.
I know this personally – a couple of people who admitted they didn't know any filipinas made this remark to me after I met my wife. When I asked them why they said it all they could say was "well everyone knows thats how they come here".
While those sort of comments pass unchallenged in the public domain they will persist.
I am a Filipina married to an American. We met online, went through the visa processes and all that and we're now playing "house" and have two kids. We have been married for six years. I think that's a pretty good length (in the US).
Surprisingly I am not as passionate about this subject as would probably be expected of me. But maybe because it's Alec Baldwin. I like him as an actor although not as a man. So really a pretty ignorant statement from him does not surprise me at all.
I personally would not want to be referred to as a mail-order bride. Because I am not. He was politically incorrect if he meant he'd like to marry a Filipina.
I just saw the you tube clip and here's my transcription of that part of the interview:
Do you ever think about having a bigger family yourself?
I'd love to have more kids…I think about getting a filipino mail-order bride at this point…
It to me sounded like the woman was just to have his kids- although you may argue "well, he's not so bad a catch" or "good genes to father one's children", –it seemed a little disrespectful of women- and in this particular situation, of Filipinas.
It was definitely a joke. I can take a joke. But I think it paints a picture that mail-order brides are legal in the country.
I guess every time one makes a joke that involves a certain race, he should prepare himself to get bashed back at.
Hi Michael – That is exactly why the publicity is not bad for Alec Baldwin. To the vast majority of viewers, he said nothing controversial, it only matches what they heard before. I disagree with it strongly, but the vast majority wouldn't even realize there is anything wrong with the statement.
Must such statements be challenged? Well… why do you think I wrote the article today? 😆
Hi Michelle – You said something that really made me think. When you mentioned the wrods "Politically incorrect." Think about this… people of Alec Baldwin's outlook and politics demand that people be politically correct in their statements. However, what he is saying is 100% politically incorrect! Many Hollywood people go on and on about marriages like yours and like mine, mail order bride, age difference, etc… but then the 60 year old actors have 25 year old girlfriends! What's good for the goose is good for the gander… right?
Yup. I'm with you on that.
Hey, we're Hollywood, Bob! What can I say! 🙂
You know one time, Jeff's workmate asked if i was a mail-order bride. He said, "Man, it would have probably been so much cheaper if that's what I did!"
It doesn't really bother me at all maybe because most of the time I find that I'm actually smarter than those that make such comments. 😉 Plus Jeff thinks so, too. (Of course he's my husband.)
Hi Bob,
We have a slight misunderstanding here 😆
You are correct that its not bad publicity for Alec in the eyes of his ignorant fans. It would make the more intelligent ones cringe though.
My point was that it is very bad and unhelpful publicity for filipinas in the US or anywhere else in the world who have to cope with this stereotype.
Just my two bobs' worth.
There might be something lost there in my comment…which I can't supply… -the intonation in my statements.
So here let me clarify so you don't scratch your head in confusion. Coz I'm scratching mine as I'm confused if you wanted to get a point across to me.
I meant:
Even if he meant sincerely wanting to marry a Filipina, he was politically incorrect.
If he meant he just wants anybody to bear his kids (based on the context), he was still wrong. Definitely because he mentioned a particular race to crack a joke and and but in a negative way. That is always wrong and begging for public lashing.
Kamusta ka Bob,
Bob I think it is just a bad stereo-type is all, and is stuck in peoples heads still I guess, I am not excusing it though. I know back in the mid to late 90's, before internet dating sites became huge. The "mail order" catalogs were still available, I had a wealthy customer of mine that lived here in South Florida. He liked Russian woman, he always had these catalogs sitting on his kitchen table when I would go into his condo. These catalogs had many pictures of Russian woman, and there little bio's with them. So I guess you choose which one you like and contact them. The same way you do now, but now we do it through email and the internet…
Personally, I think it is very disrespectful to say this to anyone as well, just because the woman is from another country.
Ignorance is very rapid among us human beings, racism, chauvinism, and other bad traits in this world of ours. Not excusing it, but it is still there. Is just up to people like ourselves to complain about it when we can, and are able to..just like this article is bringing it to light.
I like Alec's acting, but his politics I could care less about. You know he talks about the ignorance of the republican party all of the time, but I guess he needs to look at himself in the mirror when he makes a statement like that.
Salamat kaayo,
Danny 🙂
PS. The man that had these Russian catalog magazines, I guess about 6 months after I started servicing his condo, which was a condo for wealthy retirees. Usually when I went to his unit, he would never be home, so I would use the key to enter. One day to my surprise there were two very beautiful and naked ladies sleeping on his bed. They were from Russia, and could not speak very good english, but they did offer me a good time if I had the money….so these ladies weren't there for love..thats for sure, they were basically prostitutes, that he paid thousands of dollars to bring all the way to USA. (also was very funny later that day, the two ladies went down to the pool, and forgot they weren't not in Europe anymore..and went topless…the old ladies down at the pool eyes almost popped out…of course there husbands didn't mind at all..lol.
Hi Michelle – Sounds like Jeff's a smart man!
Yes, ChasDv, I feared so. They will call it gifts, but really they are payments arranged usually by the parents of the bride.
Bob, if you start charging lurker fees, I will go bankrupt and you will be a millionaire 🙂
Hi Michael from Oz – Yeah, got you. My thing on this is that the people who are intelligent probably aren't big fans of Baldwin anyway! 😆
Hi Michelle – Don't worry, I understand! 😀
Hi Danny – Good story on the guy who had the Russian ladies… I can imagine the old ladies at the pool! I wish I had been there to see that. Of course, I only wished I had seen the reaction of the old ladies.. nothing else! 😆
Hi Ellen – I'll send somebody by to pick up your late charges! 😆
Hi Michael & Bob,
Dave Letterman's reaction to Baldwin's comment reflects the same reaction of americans here. There's no discussion about it whatsoever–nothing. They did not even notice that it was objectionable at least to most Filipinos. No uproar–I doubt if the Nightline anchors would even weigh in on this issue. Wait, they didn't but they discuss topics very similar to the discussion above w/o the Filipina characters. It just supports Bob's position that internet dating w/n the states is akin to the ones where western men & Filipinas meet.
Check the site "Established Men", but I digress. I'm commenting here as I watch Nightline.
I just remember the uproar generated by Don Imus in his comment "those nappy headed hoes". You would think that the country went into a national crisis. Oprah was crying–you get the picture.
I think americans respond only if you cry "foul".
Hi Roy – I have to say that I am in full agreement with you. The tie in to Don Imus' situation a couple years ago is a great, great analogy. Can you imagine if Alec Baldwin would have said "I want a bigger family, I think I'll whip out my credit card and buy myself a black girl (insert the term you think he might say instead of "black girl")". What would be the reaction to that? Both Letterman and Baldwin would be in a heap of trouble. But, he basically said the same thing about Filipina and Russian women, and it's no big deal. Honestly, Roy, after reading what you said, it angers me. I was already feeling that his comment was out of place, but now it hits home even more.
Hi Michael, you really insist that women from poor countries, Philippines included would be willing to be "boxed" just to get out. Why do you know this? Have you heard of such thing?
You may think that internet based relationships did not involve love. But love eventually develops esp if the wife is happy w/ the husband. How do I know this? I have a friend who met a guy online. She is so happy w/ him and they have been together for 9 years. A wife is happy & proud of her husband if she insists on listening to her husband's jokes.
Hi roy – If your wife starts getting tired of your jokes, then you're in big trouble, right? 😆
hi bob,
let's look at alec's joke on a different angle, it could be it's his dream or desire to have a filipina wife but unable to do so because of his "status" in society or for some other reasons, he is probably giving us the "hint" by saying it, sometimes bob, when a person wants something and unable to get it they are unconscious of the words that comes out of their mouth.
I mean, why alec picked on filipina or russians? there are many asian in the states from A to Z, chinese, korean and japanese being the biggest one and probably the most visible of all asian in the states? isn't it logical to picked on someone that is widely visible?
how many americans or other nationalities you know who desire to live in the philippines and unable to do so and all they can do is dream about it? read topics about the country and learn whatever they can, they are just satisfying their selves through the internet or by cracking a joke about their dreams and desire..
just my thought.
michael,
can you explain this? how about the increase of murder cases in the states, murdering the spouse because of life insurance policy?
Hi! Michael,
I beg to disagree w/ you that filipinas only marry for money and security and not for love coz i myself is a filipina and i'm still single but i meet a lot of americans, british and other nationalities online but i cannot bring myself to fall inlove w/ someone i never meet personally, it's very easy for them to say i really care for you or your pretty and intelligent or all positive comments but for me i don't think you can really proved that the guy really meant what he said.Anyway i have nothing against them or anything for that matter as long as the man really has a good motives to a woman and willing to marry her, that's good.I also came from a very poor family that's why i'm here in HK working as an OFW but it never crossed my mind to just find a rich foreigner to escape from poverty, [
Love is a wonderful thing' and i always go for it rather than to find a rich husband w/o love ,for me that's torture and money can't buy happiness, don't you know that Michael?. On the other side, i have also a lot of friends who married to foreigners but i know that they love each other and happened to click it off,so i don't see anything wrong w/ it.But i'm sure that most of my friends will not trade their life to go w/ someone on the other side of the world just bcoz he's rich and everything. I guess you didn't know that most pinays marry for love and not money coz we filipinos used to lead a hard life and as long as we're together and love each other , that's all that matter to us.
I think people think it anyway when they see a white man and filipina. I live in the UK and met my wife at university here. Before I left to got married, my boss gave a speech and explicitly mentioned that we met at uni, and not through some "dodgy service".
HI! Bob,
I'm just a lurker here and i enjoyed visiting you're site, it was informative and insightful, i made a comment in this topic coz i can't help but shared my views about this so called "mailed order bride and to give my personal opinion to Michael… i'm audrey but for some reason when i decided to upload an avatar, they didn't approved my name so i used "wildcat75"……
Maybe Baldwin means that because he has a failed marriage, all can now be fixed by getting a Filipina. Obviously they are cheap and more than willing to be with him. After all he is famous and rich, and as we all know Filipina's will do anything for fame & money. Simply wave some money and they will come a flocking to him. Maybe he can just send a cheque and a Filipina will be delivered to his door. Like a mail-order for a book for example.
Obviously I was only being flippant, but idiots like Baldwin need to have respect for people. He his heading for another divorce with an attute like this. and deservedly so.
Hi Bob
I 100% agree with you. When my workmates knew I was corresponding to a Filipina, the term they used was 'mail-order bride'. I tried to correct them by saying we met via the internet. They were also concerned that many Filipina's only want to get out of the Philippines due to poverty etc. When I asked then how many Filipinas the actually knew, the answer was none (unsurprisingly). It is a bit like saying that most Thai's are lady-boys.
I really hate the perception that some people from richer countries (eg UK / USA) see people from poorer countries (eg Philippines) as people they can buy. Cheap & cheerful. The term 'mail-order bride' only adds to degrading Filipina's.
My wife is the best wife anybody can expect, she happens to come from the Philippines. I did not buy her. I did not order her from a calalouge. She is not a mail-order bride.
(boy am i angry about this….) 🙁
YEA !! Right BOB .. 🙂 ..Phil n Jess
Direct hit.
Hi audrey – Thanks for leaving your comment. I think that Michael has a lot to say, but not too much factual information to base his thinking on.
sorry delete above comment, it was already posted
Hi wildcat75 (audrey) – Welcome aboard! I hope you will be commenting often! Your gravatar is showing for Audrey also now… it takes some time for processing to be complete for that.
Hello Bacolod Berry – I can't argue a bit with you when you say "idiots like Baldwin…" You had me kind of scared when reading your first paragraph! 😆
Hi Bacolod Barry – I bet most of those co-workers when (or if) they met your wife, became quite jealous!
Hi Phil – Glad to have your support here! 😀
No problem, Bob. I was away from the computer, and had to approve your comment, as I think it was your first time to comment here.
Audrey, that is a great post, says it all.
I was thinking the same thing. What a jerk though.
were all guilty of innocent inappropriate comments at one time or another, he's human to, just because he's in the spotlight doesn't make him anything more.
Hi Brian – Indeed, he is human and we all make mistakes. However, words have meaning, and there are consequences when we make mistakes. Alec Baldwin has often been quick to jump on people who did or said things that he didn't like. He's a big boy and can handle criticism, especially when it is properly directed toward him, and I believe it is.
Hi! Bob,
Thank's for the warm welcome i will surely keep on visiting your site coz i enjoyed reading all your comments about my country and our people, ive'd been out of my country for almost half of my life and only visited home every 2 yrs for 2 weeks home vacation thus i'm more like a stranger in my own turf and visiting your site almost bring me back home. Back to your topic again, i'm wondering why of all the women around the globe, Alec choosed to mentioned a filipina be it a joke or whatever? filipinas are just a minority compared to other women of other countries and to mentioned a filipina mail order bride will definitely brings chaos among us women.Well, as an actor he's really good but i can't say the same as a person, JMHO……
Hi wildcat75 – Of course, you are very welcome! Do you know… I've lived in Davao longer than any other place in my entire life? So, maybe I'm more Filipino than you are! 😆
Dont you think this is all being taken too seriously? I have seen a Philippine tv comedy programme that featured " mail order brides" being packaged and mailed – I think Filipinos must be losing their sense of humour.I think that there are more important things to get outraged at.
Hi David S. – Yeah, when writing the article, I did look at the Wikipedia entry for reference. There is just no ordering going on – man or woman, so it’s a total misnomer! Thanks for your comment.
Hi Bryan – We all have things that push our buttons. For me, this is not being taken too seriously, but that's my opinion. We all have our own opinion, no doubt.
Hi Bob,
Im never a fan of "the Idiot" nor do i watch the show of "the Ugly" I can only say one thing, my husband is so fortunate to have found somebody who loves him for who is…
One more thing, ive been here in the States for 6 years and not once have i heard anybody reffered to me as a mail order bride.. i guess they know better than to make as crude remark like that, if they know whats good for them, and i work in a male dominant field w/c is a motorcycle dealership. From day one, they found out im not one to mess around with. excuse me for bragging, but i made sure they know i have brains between my ears. I love the USA just like i love the Philippines but theres a lot of people here like "the Idiot " who knows nothing about the filipino but thought they know better.
hi bob
comosta diha? i am a filipina married to a white american. we met here in the states. i grew up here in the states. did he dream of finding a filipina woman to marry? yes. why? because filipinas have a reputation of knowing how to take care of our husband and being a great wife. my husband tells me often that i am the woman of his dreams. i am sure that husbands will echo this sentiment here about their own wife. SO LETS HEAR IT HUSBANDS.
do all men deserve a great filipina wife? CERTAINLY NOT!!!
maria
by the way bob
my husband said to say he tells me that i am the woman of his dreams after ten years of marriage and counting.
maria
Another excellent topic Bob!
I'm curious if you've read the Wikipedia definition of Mail Order Bride. The author of this section agrees with you. Ironically, the term has been a misnomer from it's inception. It dates back to the days when women seeking husbands from developing European countries published their picture and profile in catalogues. The target audience were often men in the frontiers of Australia, America, Canada, etc. who had a limitied selection of ladies willing to endure the hardships of frontier life. Even back then, you weren't buying a wife, merely the hope of convincing a woman to journey to your country and possibly marry you.
Today's itereation bears little resemblance to the former days. There are numerous sites listing men seeking wives. Does that make them Mail Order Husbands?
Alec baldwin is not making fun of the Filipinas but he's making fun of the old Americans who wants to marry younger Filipinas…LMAO
There's nothing offensive about his comment. He's exposing old men seeking to marry much much younger women. Hey, there's nothing wrong about it also, if that's what makes a drift wood feel alive and rejuvenated then it's all good! Also, I'd rather see a young Filipina to be with an older Western man who could provide her security and love than a frea@king lazy Filipino husband who most often than not will mistreat her…
You are 100 percent right, Bob!
Hi Cris – You sound like a tough one! Ha ha… good for you!
Hi maria – OK lang diri. Ikaw? Absolutely, even after nearly 19 years, Feyma is the woman of my dreams! I can't argue with you there.
Hi maria – Congratulations for that!
Hi Atong – Personally, I feel that it was a slam on the ladies, but either way it was not the right thing to say, IMHO.
Thanks, Laura.
I am going to be in trouble with Josey for this reply, but I have to say anyway. Audrey you are so right. Josey and I had a little tiff after a year or online talking and two visits to her. When we first met my profile had my very best recent photo and I told all my best assets. Met Josey first day my photo appeared and she contacted me. Before I closed that site I was contacted by over 100. When we had arguement, that by the way is over, I posted there again and this time no photo, and profile said if money is what you are looking I have none so deep looking. If you want to live here keep looking because I want to live there. Guess what? Two days and over 40 replys. All I said was looking for love. Sorry Josey but this needed to be said. There are no mail order brides
Hi Andy – Interesting experience. I'm glad that you and Josey were able to move beyond that.
Whenever I call my friend, she makes sure to include her husband w/ our "hagikhikan" (banter). She would go "sweetheart, c'mon tell that to Roy". & I would hear my friend goes hysterical because her husband said something funny. But it's not always like that. She would call me on the phone, make it appear that she's talking to me, but she's actually making "parinig" (tells things w/n husband's earshot. She wants to berate her husband indirectly. But they are one happy couple. I always join their company because you neve see them argue, fight but always laughing, making fun of each other.
Hi roy – sounds like a nice couple. I'm happy for them.
Hi Andy – Great recommendation of why to always read LiP! 😯
Maria, any marriage that last 10 years here in states is so good, especially when love is still there. But you are so right and I know you still treat your husband and he you like the day you married. Wow what an expirence that is going to be. No such thing as mail order. Even though I have seen so many movies suggesting that ( old west ) never from other countries. I am so glad that when Josey says ( I do ) I know that she means It.
Hi Andy – You are so right.. 10 years is a long term marriage in the States!
Yeah, I read that story about Alec Baldwin also in the papers here in Manila. While it's certainly completely out of place from Baldwin to make that remark (his acting went down the drain already a while ago, maybe he simply need publicity) – I see the ensuing media storm as a mixed bag.
It probably even magnifies that useless remark even more and won't probably help at all to calm the Pinoy soul. Sometimes it's probably easier to let the "dirt simply flow down the river" instead of poking into it, as it will only dirty your hands also. Pinoys should be too proud to deal with scumbags of the Baldwin sort.
But I can understand also, that it's not easy too stomach and that some outrage can come out of it. Hmmmmmmmm! ;-?
Hi wildcat75 – Absolutely! I would actually be honored to be called an "honorary Filipino."
Hi nomad4ever – How's it going Chris? How is Manila treating you? I hope you are having a good time. You know… this issue doesn't really eat me up, I don't sit around worrying about it and such. It makes me feel bad because I consider it an insult on my wife, and I think that basically any husband would not want his wife to be insulted like that. But, unlike Senator Revilla, I don't feel the need to go after Baldwin if he should step on Philippine soil or anything like that. For me, Baldwin basically showed his ignorance with his statement.
Ignorance is the right word! So I will simply ignore Mr. Baldwin in the future also, hehe! Guess you are right, threatening him in case he sets foot on Philippine soil isn't a solution. 🙂
Yep, Manila is treating me right. Missed the city somehow, who would've guessed that! Waiting for my girl now, before moving on to Negros as a first stepping stone. But we're planning already to check out other locations as well. If we make it to Davao, will let you know, would be veryyy interesting to have a beer or two with a veteran living here. 😉
Cheers,
Chris
Hi Chris – If I can assist you at all anytime you are in the Philippines, give me a shout. My cell number is (0915) 216-0300. Don't hesitate to call anytime.
I didn't realise how big in size Alec Baldwin has become! Not a bad actor but not too great either. I was keen to see him act so I went and bought Pearl Harbour, great movie by the way.
Oh yeah forgot mail order brides, well thats an old expression now. You either like it or you don't. I worked as a manager in a trade store, when my work mates found out I was going to the Pines, the mail order bride snipe was probably the kindest comment I got over a 6 month period lol. So to all the future prospective Pina lovers, I will bet my last piso that the mail order comments that you will get will be the least of your problems.
Hi Boss – Pearl Harbour? What is that? You don't mean Pearl Harbor do you? 😆 Ha ha…. American place and American movie, after all! 😉
Hi Bob
I waited a day or so after reading your article because it really angered me. I used to like Alec as an actor but after his statement, he is no longer on my list. I saw the taping with David Letterman. After one of my friends, found that I had met my fiancee through filipinaheart, he made the same comment. Needless to say, he found himself on the ground and no longer on my party list. I hate that statement because it is denegrating.
Michael from Oz, you are dead right man. Just go to any bar or disco. Some of these western ladies are very interested in you if you are "handsome". If you drive an expensive car that is a plus! But lose any of those things and she a ghost in the wind! I am not handsome or good looking. My Rowena, saw my heart inside, not my physical outside. Nor is she looking for a meal ticket. She is college educated and can support herself no matter where in the world she may find herself. I am the lucky one.
Okay, my last words. Yes, what Alec said was wrong and out of place. But look at the attitude here in the United States. Shows like The Bachelor, Bachelorette or…..ugh…"Flavor of Love". No wonder someone like Alec would make a statement like that.
drift wood?? Is that what I am?? Sorry but some times older men like me do not look for younger women, they find you and then you find they are real. I had such hard time in my mind with Josey. She is real, I have been there to see her twice. You know, I decided that yes, she is good woman and younger but when I expire, she will be young enough to find another love in life. But she will not have to find someone to take care of her. She can just find. Am I drift wood??? explain???? Or am I nice man she loves and I love her.
Hello Bob,
One last comment. I do like Alex Baldwin as actor, and don't stay up late enough to watch Letterman. I knew nothing of this this until I read it here. Thank you. But darn I have heard " mail order bride " since a kid and you know my age. But I had never heard it " from " . So he was so wrong to mention " from ". Even on movies they do not mention " from " and you are right actor or famous people say things wrong are the time and they should be held accountale
Hi John – Like you, I don't like it when people are denigrated for no other reason but their race. You would think that Alec Baldwin would understand that, but apparently not.
Hi John – How about the classic of such shows… "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" – remember that one? And, they say Filipinas are looking for money? 😯
Hi andy – Personally for me, who really cares about age differences. Feyma and I are just 6 1/2 years different, but bigger gaps just don't bother me.
Hi andy – one of the main reasons to hold Baldwin accountable is that he is very active in holding others accountable for anything he disagrees with.
for anyone who took offense
What d'ya think?
Hi Michelle – Thanks for sharing that. I saw the news just before you posted the link. I am glad that Baldwin apologized. I will say this, it takes a person with the right mindset to apologize, and I applaud Baldwin for it.
Hi Andy and Josey,
Some people make such a big fuss about age difference,yet if you were a movie star they would say nothing.
My ex british wife was 17 yrs younger,it was mainly women who gossiped about our age difference.We just ignored it and got on with our lives.Most important thing is that you are on the same wave length compatibility.
regards Chas.
Hi chasdv – So true… there are many things much more important than age.
Sorry Bob but I was just reading Sun Star. I do daily online. But darn on this very bad statement by alec balwden Wnat about the two men charged with operating cyber sex shop in cdo. Yes fron what I read they should be prosicuted and spend time in prison and then deported. But the papers keep referring them as Swedes. I so not even know there name anymore because they never use that. Thjis only to say why is Senator Bong Revilla not mad at that. Kind of makes all Swedes look bad. And of course we know that is not true. Oh now I go comment to Sun Star
Hi Andy – Yeah, unfortunately sometimes newspapers here don't handle such things well. Often, foreigners are not really treated fairly by the papers, in my opinion.
Yep good one Sir BoB, ha ha ha. Pearl Harbor it is lol. Got to go back to Kano English dictionary lol.
Hi Boss – Just teasing you there, my friend.
I wouldn't be too hard on a guy for saying something stupid during a divorce. What he said to his daughter was really nasty and taken alone is horrible but we don't know what his relationship with his daughter is like. I know I Sure did stupid things during my first divorce, but I was only 30. Baldwin is old enough to know better, I would think. Divorce can really bring the ugly out of a person.
I don't know anything about his acting or his politics. I don't follow actors the way mosts people do. I follow musicians like most people follow actors, though I'm not as into that as I use to be.
Bob, there are "mail order brides." I know its been a long time since you've had access to 60 minutes but they have done stories on it. There are places you can go in Asia and buy a girl. There were laws passed in the 90's regarding this. In most cases, it involved children living as slaves in the US.
I think Baldwin was just using it as a term, I'm sure he was not looking to buy anyone. That's human trafficking.
We don't get Letterman in Bogo. 🙁 We don't get Maxx but I saw it while in Cebu City. But then mmy cable TV is only P360.
Hi Rusty – I am sorry, my friend, but no matter what 60 Minutes says… I do not believe there is any such thing as a "mail order bride" in the literal sense. Even if such a thing existed, the US would certainly not issue a visa for such a person.