You often hear in the Philippines that it is “who you know” that helps you get things done. That is so true. Especially since a big part of Philippine Culture is to have a “go between” who can intercede for you if you are in a touchy situation. The more “important” people you know, the better it will be for you, and the easier it will be to smooth things over for you, or help you accomplish that.
We are lucky. We live in a nice neighborhood where there are lots of “important people”. VIPs – Very Important People. Our next door neighbor just to the side of us is a retired judge. He is a very nice man, and though I am not close friends with him, we exchange a few kind words if we see each other. There are so many of these kinds of professionals living in our neighborhood – lawyers, doctors, judges, government people, etc. What a wealth of resources.
I used to think that knowing such people was really the key to success when it comes to life in the Philippines. And, you know what, it is true, these kinds of people can play quite an important part in helping you through difficult situations. But, you know what? I have found that these are not the only type of VIPs who can be very helpful.
Who are the forgotten VIPs in Philippine Life?
The regular folks, or even those who you might think of as being from a lower economic class than you are. These are the people who are:
- Important connections
- Very willing to help you, because they think YOU are important
- The most friendly and helpful when you need something
What kind of people am I talking about? People like tricycle drivers. Barbers. Workers at the Sari Sari store. The “salt of the earth” type people. Nine times out of ten, when I need something and can’t find a way to get it done myself, these are the kinds of people that are the most helpful to me.
Basically, here in my neighborhood, I have two people that I consider to be really important resource people who can help me. One of them is the “head tricycle driver” in my neighborhood. His name is Aga, but everybody calls him “Bossing”. He is recognized by the other tricycle drivers as being the “boss” of the tricycle drivers in our area, although I don’t think it is really official, everybody just knows that he is the “go to guy”. I’m not saying he is the go-to-guy if you need a tricycle ride, he is the go-to-guy if you need anything! For example, about 6 months ago, Feyma and I went shopping on a very blistering hot day. When we took our purchases outside and got in the car, it would not start. We tried everything I could think of, but could not get the car started.
What did I do?
Call Bossing!
I told Feyma to take a taxi to our house, and to go find Bossing. He generally hangs out with his tricycle on a corner about a block from our house. If anybody knew what to do, who to call, or who to bring to look at our car, it was Bossing. Feyma took off and within 30 minutes she was back. She had Bossing, and a friend of his who is a mechanic. Thirty seconds later, the car was running. Both Bossing and the Mechanic refused to take any money, but we forced it on them. Why did they do it? Well, they thought that we were important people for them to help, we might be in a position to help them sometime. Also, they did it out of the spirit of friendship. In the end, between the two of them, we probably gave them P500 or so, I don’t recall the exact amount.
There have been so many times when I needed something, and didn’t know who to turn to, so I talked to Bossing. Either it was something he could take care of for me, or he knew the right guy to handle the situation! Bossing has never failed me. He considers me to be his buddy, and I consider him to be mine. He never misses a chance to say “Hi, Sir” or give me a wave as he passes by me on the street. He is truly a nice man, and a good friend.
Don’t forget Erwin!
The other person in the neighborhood who has turned into a good friend, and a great resource for me is my barber, Erwin. Erwin has a little “hole in the wall” barber shop about 3 or 4 blocks from my house. I always go there to get my hair cut, and because of that, Erwin is a good friend and has also introduced me to many other “regular folks” who live around his shop. I always enjoy going to Erwin’s shop and talking with the folks there while Erwin cuts my hair.
Yesterday, I was out for a walk… gotta get that exercise, you know! As I walked down one street, a motorcycle came up on me from behind. The rider started yelling at me, I could not quite make out what he was saying. He stopped and looked back at me. It was Erwin! He was hollering at me that he would give me a ride and wanted to know where I was headed! I laughed and told him that I was out getting exercise, and didn’t need a ride, so we both waved at each other and he was off again.
For me, Erwin is a good friend, and a person that I turn to if I have a need that I can’t figure out how to fill. Maybe I am looking for a gardener to work in our yard… Erwin would be the guy who could tell me who to talk to. I have even told my kids that if they are ever on the way home from school or something, if they have a problem, they can go to Erwin and he will help them. I mean, if Feyma and I are not home for some reason. Erwin’s shop is on the route between the school and our house, and I trust him implicitly. I know that if somebody in my family has some kind of trouble, Erwin will help if he can. The same goes for Bossing.
Having important people to help you in the Philippines is an important thing. It is important, though, to remember that important doesn’t always mean rich or powerful people. Regular folks are sometimes more important in day to day life than the wealthy and powerful are! Erwin and Bossing are two prime examples of that for me.
Hope to get much good friends in Dumaguete.
Looking forwards for a good life there.
A Dutchman
Willem
Hi Willem – Thanks for reading my article. Don’t worry, if you come with the proper attitude and treat people nicely, you will have plenty of friends!
A great example of what’s wonderful about living in the Philippines, Bob – but only if we are open to it! Of course, it’s easy to pick out the things that don’t match our expectations, but it was one of the reasons why we chose to make this move for our family. We want our children to appreciate the value of all sorts of people in their lives as they grow up.
I don’t hear too many stories anymore about the connections and interdependencies that exist in day-to-day life in the States or other western countries. I caught a glimpse of that in my childhood when visiting my Dad’s small home-town in South Carolina, but fear it’s a part of the American experience that is lost to most of us these days. I find it very sad.
Good article – thanks.
I’m glad you enjoyed the article, John. I think a lot of foreigners, and also a lot of wealthier Filipinos look down on folks like tricycle drivers and barbers. However, these are kind people who will go out of their way to help you in any way they can. At least that is my experience.
What a great story, and one of the many reasons I want to retire to the Philippines.
Thanks, Peter, I’m glad you found it a great story. If we move here with the right attitude and outlook, we can have friends from every walk of life.
Great story, Anton, and I agree that it is just another example of what my article was all about! It sounds like your great grandfather was quite a man.
Hi Bob – Good article. If you make friends here it really does matter. If filipinos like you they really will go out of their way to help if it is needed.
That has always been my experience as well, Brenton.
Oh my goodness, Anton Faust, I am mentioned in your book? What an honor! Speaking of not living near criminals… One thing I did not mention is that the Ampatuan house is just up the street from me! 😉
Nice story, Bob. Janet says her dad is sort of like that in his neighborhood.
Cool Dave, he is a VIP then! 🙂
When we lived in Bucana we had lots of people like this is our lives. Most of those living around us were VIP’s as we had an excellent reputation in the neighborhood and yes even I was much loved. Anyway whenever we needed for anything there were people ready to help us and it wasn’t about money it was about mutual respect!!! I am thinking the VIP person you need there most in your life now Bob is someone who can act like a fan swinging something to move the air with all the brownouts you are having. Too bad as it is only going to get worse
In some ways, Corey, you have truly changed much over the years. Not many years ago you used to belittle me for even wanting to talk with a “regular” Filipino. Now you have mutual respect.
In other ways your have not changed as much… as is evident in your last couple of sentences.
Have a good one.
Love you too.
Well, whatta you know! The nice side of Corey is coming out today! 😉
Hi Bob ,, Good Article thanks Bob ,, And yes, those people are the real ” Movers & Shakers” in the world ,, they are found in every country if a person is capable of ” seeing ” them ,,,.
Hi Russell – your comment is right on the mark, and in more ways than one!
That’s the spirit Bob, i totally agree. Here in our “exclusive” subdivision (that’s what it is called in sales adds), there’s a lot of high ranked people. but the true friends and the ones that’s always ready to help and do it from a good heart, is the regular Filipinos.
Exactly my feelings, Axel. Those regular folks will go out of their way to give you a hand.
Good story Bob. You know , Here in the Philippines, VIPs come in all economic groups AND Nationalities You Have been and still are a VIP to many Filipinos and foreigners alike. I am a VIP Here in Ozamis within my Barangay as well as to some merchants in the city. We can all be VIPs to the people we deal with if we are patient,and caring of the people around us.When we find a good merchant and spread the word to our friends of his services and goods, he will soon see us as a VIP and treat us accordingly
Wow, thanks, Joe. I never thought of being considered a VIP myself!
Nice bob. Some of the nicest people I ever met in my life are amongst “salt of the earth type” people. I know several of them who truly gained my respect since for all the hardship they endure they can still be virtuous and of good intent. There is good and bad everywhere but when you find those people from amongst the poor who are good and just help for the sake of helping it’s something special. I think it takes a bit of experience though to know what who is really good here and who not. I think those good people come out of the woodworks later.
Hi Simon, you sure hit the nail on the head when you mention about respect and also about the hardship that many of these people endure. If we westerners went through the tough times that these people face on a day to day basis, I just don’t know how many of us would come away smiling like the folks here do. It is truly amazing.
Now this is what I call a great article and thoughtful writing congrats on very good reading…And by the way “So True”
Well thank you very much for that nice comment, Lenny. I appreciate it very much.
nice article Bob, it is the everyday people who determine the quality of your life for sure.
very nice, Bob…like you, we are also lucky to have guys like them around…we also have Nelson, the tricycle driver in the neighborhood who is just like bossing and erwin…always there for us…they made our life so much easier!
Hi Coi – Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Nice to hear from you. Feyma told me that she saw you the other day. 🙂
Yes, I am glad to hear that you also have “VIPs” who help take care of your needs! It makes life a little more pleasurable, and also just makes the neighborhood feel friendly. It’s not a one way street either… I am very willing to do whatever I can to help my VIP friends as well!
Bob
Thanks for the enjoyable article. Everybody has friends or acquaintances. But its the true friends. The ones that you can trust and rely on in your time of need and vice versa. Those are friendships that you cherish. Annes late father worked for a VIP which helped him and made life easier for him.
Hi PapaDuck, you ate right, a lot of people claim to be friends, but you gotta know who the real true friends are. Those are the ones who are golden.
A great article, Bob. Not only is it so true–A good life is dependent on the connections you make—it touches the heart. People like Bossing and Erwin are all around us. We just have to look up and shake their hands…take them in. All the best.
Thank you Doug, I appreciate your thoughts on that. You know, I find that with people like Bossing and Erwin, when we take notice of them and bring them into the fold of our friendship, they are so proud. We are foreigners, and in their minds, they think we are better than them. To me, we are all people, and we are not better than them at all, in fact we are probably only luckier than them. We were just born in a place that gave us an opportunity at a better life compared to them. I value their friendship and feel that I am the lucky one, not them!
Hi Bob!
While reading your article I did have thoughts as the same as you here! We all are equal! It doesn`t depend on our color, race, nationality, or at least not of our wallet as so many times our neighbors think! It is only one simple thing, DO unto others as you expect them to do for you! So many times our filipino friends look us “upper level people” that they feel that they are not only smaller by their body, but their way of thinking “westerns” is too reverence as we deserve, if you understand what I mean!? This “Good day sir!” -mentality, of course it is polite, but also I feel it too much for myself. I try to answer all the time, don`t call me sir, ako si Leo! If this doesn`t “work”, I call him as the same, good day SIR Jose! Filipinos are the most friendliest people, and even more as a FRIENDS we have the blessing to have around us! How lucky we are!
Hi Leo – So many nice little things that make life enjoyable here! It really makes living here a lot of fun and a pleasure! Sounds like you think so too!
You got it right Bob! I really do!
That’s great, Leo.
An eye opening article about life here in the Philippines. Once of the hardest aspects of life for me to get used to. When we visited prior to our move, folks would help us out and it seemed natural. Once we moved here the practice continued. Need a drivers license? “talk to Bong, He works for LTO and is my batch mate”. Need fire insurance? “talk to Myete, her sisters cousin is an agent”. It was actually a one of the harder adjustments I had to make after we moved here, coming from the American “self reliant get-er-done” mentality. Fun read
Hi Scott – Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I found it interesting how you said that it was difficult for you to adjust to that. To me, I found it quite natural and a great feeling that others were around to help me with just about anything like that. It is hard for me to think why it would have been hard to adjust to that. The only thing I can think of is that maybe it was more difficult and I just don’t remember that because it has been so long since I first moved here.
Thanks for the insight! I appreciate it.
Heh heh—Most likely 30 years in the Army did it to me Bob. Receive a mission, evaluate a mission, develop a plan, then execute the plan. But after awhile I learned just how to sit back and let things flow around me. Life is good.
Ah, OK, got it, Scott! 😉
Thank you David, glad you enjoyed the article.
Hello Bob! I immensely enjoyed reading your stories about our country. This article reflects real life culture and attitudes that defines Filipinos in general. I am also amused while reading it from the point of view of another cultural upbringing. For us, “right connections” is a natural attitude that makes simple as well as hard situations an easier task to tackle. The simplicity of your writing style makes your stories stand out for being factual, concise and yes, an enjoyable read. Padayon!!
Oh, thank you so much, Teresa, I greatly appreciate what you said. I try to fit in here, and to understand the culture as much as possible, so I consider your comment as high praise! Thank you again.
Likewise , also the people that knows you Bob are lucky including me ,vice versa, when I was still a kid my uncle advised me to develop my “P R ” , that when I turned 20 I was hired as a truck driver in a major local mining company. Once again the same uncle reminded me the PR thing where he got my positive remarks & further warned me that if I want to keep my good job I must start learning the “Whom YOU KNOW ” technique of which I did for working in the company for 20 years after a couple of promotions..
Thank you for your kind words, Ben.
Absolutely great article Bob! And absolutely spot on too; we all need someone who knows someone…and Filipino’s always know someone…even here in Australia or the UK…who can sort out the problem.
Glad you enjoyed the article, Jim! Who you know is important here, and knowing guys like these helps a lot, because they know everybody! 🙂
My father was orphaned at the age of 12, he immigrated to US from Sweden at age 18 in 1924 with only 8th grade education.
He always treated everyone he met with special regard.
He could always cheer someone up with his positive personality.
Always to make them feel good about their day.
He had a very successful business due to his personal humble generosity.
I can only hope that I can come somewhat close to what my great humble father was.
I do not know what his impression of the Philippines would have been…
Thanks for sharing, Jade.
wow..great article..I always learn so much here..:)
I am a private person by nature but have been told many many times I am way too generous. I always try and treat everyone with respect and a simple deference. Here in the US it seems that really makes little matter now. Years ago it was returned and respected and that is sad to me that it now is treated with almost scorn or disdain.
I am beginning to see many admirable things about Phils and cannot wait to experience myself.
This article in particular was very encouraging to me.
Thank you Richard, I am glad that you found merit in the article. Based on your description of yourself, I think you will do well here.
Bob,
That was a very nice article. I enjoyed it. Also, it was very thoughtful to acknowledge these people. Most are taken for granted. Not only are they wonderful resources, but they make even better friends!
That’s the Filipino people.
Blessings!
Bill
Thank you, Bill. They are people I enjoy and who make a difference in my life, so I am happy to acknowledge that! 🙂
There is a lot of truth to your article Bob and I have had the pleasure of experiencing things like this on my visits. A typical example is the time I wanted to visit the Seaport to see in person what I saw in many pictures I had seen on the internet. Arriving at the seaport with my Filipino friends we were informed at the gate entry is only allowed to ticketed passengers. Between that time and the following visit, I mentioned to another friend who I met through a friend about my experience in attempting to visit the seaport. That friend worked in an office with someone who is a friend of the seaport manager. The following year, not only was I cheaufered right through the gates of the seaport, I was given a complete guided tour of the seaport in its entirety by the seaport manager that lasted for several hours. To top it all off, at the conclusion of the tour I was offered a fantastic assortment of Filipino refreshments that I can not remember the names of them but I certainly will not forget the delicious taste of them. This entire event was one of the highlights of my visit of 2011. This is just one of many examples of my visits to Iligan City.
Wonderful story, Bob. I can feel the pride and joy that you have about being invited for the special tour. I have also experienced those kinds of things, and it really shows the hospitality of the Filipino people!