Today, I was doing some surfing around the net, particularly looking at blogs by other expats from all over the world, not just the Philippines. I came across an interesting blog from a lady, V-grrrl, living in Belgium. Apparently she and her family moved to Belgium a couple of years ago, and will soon be returning to the USA. I didn’t read the whole archive of the blog, but I assume that the husband probably got a job assignment in Belgium for a couple of years, and that is winding down now, prompting their return to the States.
Based on the fact that V-grrrl and her family lived in Belgium for just two years and are going back home now, their situation is certainly different than mine. Feyma and I made our decision to move here and live here permanently. That is different. I guess in some ways, V-grrrl is more of an expat, I am more of an immigrant (although I do consider myself to be an expat), because I intend to live here forever.
V-grrrl talks about her kids in her post. She says that when they decided to move to Belgium she really considered that it would be a great experience for her children. They could experience so many things, see a lot of sites in Europe and generally develop more broadly than the average kid in the States. I agree with that strongly. However, V-grrrl has found that something has happened that she did not consider. Her kids have, after just two years away, forgotten a lot about life in the States!
What’s astonished me during this process is how much she and her brother have forgotten about their life in the U.S.
My son was unable to recall the names of some of the boys in his Cub Scout troop, boys he’d known for years and seen every week and camped with. My daughter asked me what color our house had been in the U.S. Both kids had difficulty recalling the names of their teachers.
My jaw dropped. We’ve only been here two years. My kids were 6 and 8 years old when we arrived; they weren’t babies. I’m a bit freaked out that so much is sliding out of their memory, that the past is retreating so quickly for them.
Very interesting! Honestly, this is something that I had not considered. If her kids have forgotten about the USA so quickly, in just 2 years, what will they remember about Belgium 10 years down the road, or 20 years? Not as much as V-grrrl had hoped for, I guess, and that is what she says too.
Now, with all of this, I am starting to wonder, what will my kids remember about their place of birth, the USA? Probably not that much, and what they will remember will be heavily skewed, as childhood memories always are. You know how when you go back to a childhood home after you’re an adult? It always looks so much smaller than you remember it being! My kids probably won’t remember much about the States. It’s sad for me to realize that. I do take some solace, though, in the fact that the kids are free to return to the USA when they are adults (they are all US Citizens, after all).
Let’s take a look at each of my kids individually:
Chris is my oldest son. He is 15 years old, and as I have said on this blog before, he is retarded. I seriously doubt that he will ever return to the USA. What he remembers about the USA is of little concern to me. My only concern is that he is happy in his life as it is now, and I do what I can to make sure that he has a happy life.
Aaron is my second son. He is 10 years old (going on 30, or so it seems!). Aaron (or AJ as I generally call him) is a very smart kid. He excels in school, particularly in math and science. I expect that he’ll be an engineer or scientist someday. I feel there is a good chance that he will return to the States to study or work someday, although it is his choice. Of my three kids, Aaron will have the most vivid memory of the USA. However, since he was only 3 when we moved here, his memory will be quite limited. I do hope that he has the opportunity to travel back to the States, at least for vacations and such.
Jared is my youngest son. He is 7 years old. Jared was only 1 month old when we moved here. As a matter of fact, we were just waiting for Feyma to give birth before the move went into full swing. We wanted Jared to be born in the USA, so he would be a citizen automatically. Since Jared was so young when we moved, he really has no memory of the USA, or even much concept of what the US is like, other than what he sees on TV.
I also have a daughter, Jean, but she is adopted, and has never been to the USA.
One thing, though, that does help reinforce US culture on US concepts on the kids is through living with me, and also with Feyma. I am American and lived there for 36 of my 38 years before moving here (I lived 2 years in South Africa as a child). Feyma lived 10 years in the USA after we were married, and is quite American in her ways. So, by living in our environment, the kids pick up many American ways. So, they are somewhere between being Filipino (culturally) and American.
What will they remember or think about the USA when they are adults? It remains to be seen.
Good luck to you, V-grrrl!
I am wondering, Bob. Would you be taking your family on vacation to the US some time? I ask this because I was fortunate enough to take family vacations when I was young (visiting my mother's side). I think it helped me understand things about the world at a very young age and made an impact on me growing up.
Hi Macky – Feyma has been after me for a few months now that we need to take the kids for a vacation there. She wants to wait until our youngest is a little older (he's 7 now) before going. It's not something I really want to do, but maybe… who knows. I suppose that I am leaning toward doing it, because I do feel it is something that will be good for the kids. I have few doubts about that.