Live in the Philippines

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Keepin’ busy

Family, Travel / by

Well, I am not ashamed to say it…. I miss my wife!

Feyma is gone! She left the Philippines last Thursday, arriving in the United States on Thursday night, and at her (temporary) destination of Portland, Oregon on Friday morning.

As Feyma reported to you last week, she has left for the States, and she will probably be there for 5 months or so. Right now, Feyma is visiting family and friends, but next month she will be heading to Alaska to do some seasonal work that was offered to her there. After my health issues last year, our savings took a real hit, so Feyma wanted to take advantage of this work opportunity to replenish our savings and get us back to a more stable financial footing. Feyma has always been one to pitch in and do what she can and what is necessary over the years, I am appreciate her very much.

Friends are talking about me!

Over the past couple of months, as more and more of our local friends found out that Feyma will be going to the States, they all said the same thing:

What about Bob, what will he do without Feyma?

LOL, well, I can’t deny it.. it won’t be easy for me! But, so far, to be honest, it has been easier than I had expected. I am quite an emotional person. Especially when it comes to Feyma, I can’t deny that a tear can come to my eye fairly easily. I expected that the goodbye on Thursday morning was going to be a difficult one. Because of this, Feyma and I decided that I would not go to the airport with her, nor would Chris (our son who is staying with me) or Jean or Nicole (our girls that are still here too). The reason we decided this was to avoid too emotional and difficult of a situation at the airport.

Feyma and Jared (our youngest son, who is traveling with Feyma) left the house at about 4 AM on Thursday morning to head to the Davao airport. We said our goodbyes while waiting for the taxi to arrive. Feyma did cry, but I did not do it. I could have, but I had already decided that I did not want to let her leave while she was worried about me, so I stayed strong.

I was actually pretty surprised that I made it Thursday, Friday, and Saturday without any problems. Today is Sunday as I am writing this, and now that Feyma is already at her destination in Portland, staying with family and friends there, and I have been talking to her on video chat, I have felt lonely for her. I guess that is just natural, though. Still, even feeling lonely.. it has been easier than I expected.

Feyma has been planning this trip since January or February, so I guess I had plenty of time to get prepared and know that it was going to happen. I suspect that is why it has not been as hard on me as I expected.

27 Years of Marriage

We are nearly ready to hit the 27 year mark of our marriage (August), and in all of that time, we have rarely been apart. I can remember only one time when we were apart for 2 weeks, other than that there have been a few times we were apart for a day or maybe 2. Throughout our marriage, I have pretty much always worked at home, so we have spent almost all of our time together over the years. So, being apart for some 5 months or so will be a major shock to both of us.

I told Feyma that even though we are very close, the separation might even bring us closer together. I guess that when you are always with a person you tend to take them for granted, so this will shake that up, for sure!

I have plenty of plans

I know that in order to help the time pass more quickly, I need to keep busy! I have a number of business and personal projects in the plans to keep me quite busy. I have some business projects that I want to get started (and complete some of  them) during the coming months. Also, some personal projects. I also plan to travel a bit to different parts of the Philippines. Maybe 2 or 3 trips during Feyma’s absence. A number of friends around the country have invited me and asked me to visit them, so perhaps I will take advantage of those offers!

I will keep you updated

I plan to write a number of articles in the coming months to keep you updated on what Feyma is up to. Also, let you know how I am doing during the separation.

Naknek Alaska
Naknek Alaska

Right now, as I said, Feyma is in the Portland area (actually in Vancouver, WA, just across the river from Portland). In a few weeks she will travel up to Seattle, and the company that she will be working for will fly her up to Alaska. I have always wanted to visit Alaska myself, so I am a bit jealous! 🙂

We expect that she will be back in the Portland area around the end of September or early October, and will then return to the Philippines. It is also a good possibility that Aaron and Jared will also be working in Alaska for the summer.

I’ll keep you posted!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Good luck, and enjoy your travel plans. Hopefully I will be living there by Christmas, in Nueve Ecija. Has been my plans for over 25 years, so time to get to it. Maybe someday we can meet and talk.

  3. PH to Alaska what a difference. Stronger u both shall be. Stay in touch and feel the love and stay busy as u said. Greater appreciation for sure

  5. That is so sweet of you Bob. You and Fey are the power couple to beat! You will survive without Fey for few months. Distance makes the heart grow fonder

  6. I know you will miss her, and I hope she is ready for a big shock in Naknek. My son worked for a summer in a cannery there many years ago, but it is still a small town — 550 people (more in the summer fishing season). I remember that we had to throw out all his clothes, boots and shoes that he took up to Alaska because of the odor. He also learned the first week that things and money get stolen very easily. I don’t know what type of job she will do — but good luck to her. One thing is they do pay well there. By the way, this link has interesting info on Naknek. http://naknekfish.com/about-naknek-alask/

    • Yes, Feyma is ready for Naknek to be a big shock! Feyma bought a bunch of used clothing (Ukay-Ukay) here to bring to Naknek with the intention that after the season they would be thrown out! 🙂

  7. Aloha Bob,

    I had a thought when I read about Inday Feyma’s seasonal work in AK that it was going to be in Naknek. And when you posted the photo, you confirmed my guess. A 1000 years ago, I arrived at Naknek International Airport, i.e. pasture (Have Feyma send you a photo of the terminal if it is still there) to work with Chuck (Trident Seafoods) on their tender, the Narwhale. I arrived in April and worked into August, Great experience and memories. You’ll hear about the reason it is called “Land of the Midnight Sun”, especially in these months. Enjoy your ‘ulitawo’ time.

  8. I can relate to this. My wife and I were apart for 9 months while she was finalizing our plans to retire here in the Philippines while I stayed behind in California to continue working and building our nest egg which we would need to support us after I followed her and before I would be available for social security. It was sheer determination and faith in each other that got us through that long separation.

  9. I can relate Bob. I have to leave my family here in the Philippines to work in the U.S. for 4 months of the year. Last year, we were apart for an entire year! It is hard and we do miss one another, but love gets us thru. All the best. Rod

  10. You are highly blessed to have a spouse willing to do this for you all. The Bible says ” He that finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord”. You obviously have his favor..

  11. Everyone who is normal has emotions; those who do not are usually psychopaths. But most people will not reveal their emotions – this causes huge problems for them. You describe your emotions well and I am sure all normal people respond to that and feel some emotions themselves (as i did). It is brave to do that and in doing so to remind people of what strong love really is. It is also perhaps a chance for us all to think of those forcefully separated, e.g. by kidnap as in Marawi now. I realise reading what you write that you do not need luck – you already have it – you just need to be who you are.

  12. Ok? I missed the post that spoke of purpose of your Wife’s need to Visit the States,.. making it difficult for me to contribute any comment except I hope all Family Needs Are better well Tended to, result of Journey, than your Family hoped Imaginable, and hope She Arrives Back home to you, as planned, Comfortably & Safely!! 🙂

    • Hi Patrick – Thanks for your comment. There have actually been several articles about this, sorry you missed them. Basically, the reason that it was necessary was due to our huge medical bills last year with my heart surgery, we just need to replenish our savings, and Feyma really stepped up and demanded that she do it. She is a real champ!

    • Hi Patrick, sorry you missed previous posts about this, there have been several over the months. Basically, our savings really got depleted due to my health issues last year, so Feyma is pitching in by doing some seasonal work in Alaska. She can make some really nice money doing that, and I so appreciate the effort that she is putting in!

  13. My wife did this for years and I finally joined her, got tired of calling her on the phone because she wasn’t computer literate.

    • Hi MCA – I would like to give it a try myself. This year I could not do it, I am still recovering from my heart surgery last year. Next year, who knows? The only downside is that we own a number of businesses here, and somebody has to stay behind and keep things going here! I do know I am very thankful to my wife for stepping up at a time when I am unable to do it.

      • Understand, aghh… if I could choose I’d rather live in the states, my wife wanted to stay here and I couldn’t get my adopted kids out and now they are over the age of 18, so it became very lonely for me, something happened to me also, I returned for 3 years it wasn’t living being alone so I came back, I was given anxiety medications, I don’t take those anymore. Good luck Bob and speedy recovery.

        • We’re kind of the opposite then, I prefer to live here in the Philippines. It took a long time to convince my wife and we’ll back. Now, I’m not sure, she probably prefers here, but after staying there for a few months she may want to go back, I’m just not sure.

  14. My wife leaves on Saturday for a 2-month stay in America to help her daughter and to have medical checkup. I’m still a novice here but there is lots of family if I need help. I am sad though… only married 2 years.

  15. Bob, what can I say, you are going thru a difficult time and I don’t envy you. You are lucky to have someone willing to step up as she did, but so unfortunate, that she needs to do that because of circumstances. I hope all goes well and she returns safely back to you and that the time will seem to pass quickly.

  17. Good to hear you’re doing well, Bob.
    That was a nice gesture by Feyma.
    Having spent most of my life living alone, it sure takes time to get used too. It was a good teacher most of the time, made me very independent and to be much more appreciative of good company. Keeping yourself busy is the best way to handle it and 5 months will fly by.
    If/when I tread the path of marriage in the future, I guess I will need a man cave like Paul T so I can have my own space from time to time, Lol

    • Hi Chas – Thanks for stopping by and for commenting. I have never felt the need for a mancave, I enjoy spending my time with Feyma and with our family. I do need some alone time, but I find that I get what I need. 🙂 Good to hear from you.

  20. Bob;
    I’ve been home full since I retired from sailing, I wonder if Mayang might be happy to put my butt on a ship for six months like 17 years ago. I miss the ships, but now I’m like you, I’d miss Mayang if I had to go out again. I’ve never been to Alaska in the Summer, only in the dead of Winter. Dutch Harbor on the Island of Unalaska was so cold I didn’t want to cross the Tundra to get to the small town, But the King Crab Legs were great, and cheap as hell. Our cook traded two cases of steaks for ten boxes of crab legs. I thought we cheated them until we found out the cost of stakes in Alaska (Hot Dogs were $ 7.00 each at the diner.)
    But separation is not always a bad thing. Ask Mayang!!! (LOL)

    • Hi Paul – You know.. I was thinking… maybe you do need to back out to sea! You mentioned in a couple articles a while back that you were still having some dizziness.. maybe you need to be out on that rocking boat and get your sea legs back! 😉

      Maybe we will both take a trip to Alaska and get some king crab… if we can make money by bringing some steaks along with us, let’s do it!